How can I change myself?

Question

I mean, I don't like people in general and I don't like listen to their problems and opinions. I don't like talking a lot. I have a few good friends though, but because I generally don't trust people it makes hard for me to meet new ones. What's wrong with me?

Answer 1

your very quiet and shy to yourself.
open up your self a little and that way, you might realize that the world is a great place.

Answer 2

Question: What's happened that has given you the idea that you would like to (at least) consider changing yourself?

'Change' only happens when there is a need to. And, this generally comes about when it is perceived that a way of behaving is not getting the person towards a desired goal, and where ones own behaviours are seen in a viewed in a different light.

If you are not interested in listening to others and their problems, then the likelihood is that others are not going to be interested in listening to yours either ~ if you have any ~ and are willing to share or seek help with!

If you don't generally trust people, then there is a certain level of wisdom in that choice as some people can be dangerous creatures. But then, why should people trust you.

When we build walls about ourselves, we do so 'without' doors. So that anyone who wants to come in and visit or join us, has to scale the walls (your hardly likely to lower a ladder or go construct a door and jeopardise the integrity of the wall are you) ...and often find the person they have come to visit busy disappearing into the interior of their home.

It's likely that there is nothing 'wrong' with you, as you put it, but that for some reason/s you have seen the light in a way that has required you to guard and defend yourself in such a way that the goals you seek are out of your reach ~ beyond those walls. And that you are hungry for whatever they are and represent to you.

Find someone who can help you ~ in whatever way that means.

Bust of luck in your search.
sash.

Answer 3

Nothing wrong, you just don't share an affinity with most people, and some people don't. Like Me. I am not a bad person, as I am sure you are not, and it's not because you lack empathy because you asked this question. You just have to accept your approach to life as part of your personality. At the end of the day, and I have grown up a bit now, all the worry about what other people think, doesn't matter. You don't need to change, just try and find people who you do connect with, and if you don't it will be fine anyway. Trust me.

Answer 4

I used to be like that in my earlier years. I came to a point that talking to people is the hardest thing to do, and people talking to me bothers me the most.

You can't change yourself at a snap, poof! and just like that. It takes a slow but sure process. You also have to help yourself and be very determined if you really want to change, no if's and but's. Self confidence and trustworthiness is what you need the most.

Since you only trust your friends, why don't you ask them to introduce you to other people like their family, friends, colleagues, etc. This is a good first step considering that you don't talk to people that much.

The more you get connected to the people around your friends, the more you'll find yourself being comfortable with others. Your self-confidence will also develop as you undergo this process.

Just remember the saying "No man is an island."
Happinness and contentment doesn't come from yourself, but from other people that gives you inspiration to move on with your life.

The world doesn't hate you don't worry, you'll get through it.

Answer 5

Unless you're unhappy with yourself,I dont see why you need to change. Many of us are untrusting of people, the fact that you have a few good friends shows that when you do trust, your instincts are correct. Not all take enjoyment out of listening to other peoples problems, but I bet with your friends, though you may not love it, you are still there for them. As to others opinions, well thats all they are, if you are taking them personally you need to as yourself why, if your not, then remember they are only opinions, you have your own. Perhaps your dislike of talking is due to your distrust of others, for whatever reason you are reluctant to be heard in any capacity. You may need to look at why you dont trust people, if it bothers you, but often introspection and honesty with oneself is the hardest thing of all.

Answer 6

Your seeming not to like people is only a self-defense mechanism. The reason why you seem not to like people is because you don't want them to see the real you. You could only open up to a few close friends, they who already know you inside out. To change yourself? Just accept who and what you are. Don't pretend to be what you are not. If you are a man who has a feeling to another man, just accept it. Sometimes it happens. Avoid staying in a closet. You will be a happier person when you are not hiding anything. Let the people like you for what you are.

Answer 7

Why would You change??? You should be what You are trying not to offend anyone. There are a lot of people like You on this planet. But, since You're asking this question, it looks like You want to know about others opinion. This is the way of talk too, so I think it is better for You to talk to Your friends about this. Directly!

Answer 8

you sound a little lost
dont expect to change completely
i find that changing small things helps
sit down and make a list of what you do in your life on a daily basis who you see where you go what you do how it makes you feel
if you find negative stuff in there make a new list and tackle each thing one by one
perhaps you need to find like minded people then you may be more interested in them as people
listening to other peoples problems can get you down so sometimes you have to draw a line and avoid those people for a while
you need some positives in your life things that make you happy
good luck

Answer 9

I'm not exactly like you but i listen to people who need my help and don't talk much and i don't talk at all to people i don't like don't ask me why i don't like them but i just don't and as you i have few friends who are mostly my family. I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not looking for one which make soo many people think that i have a problem but i don't give a dam what they think i live my life the way i want. Believe me you are 100% fine don't stress yourself

Answer 10

Nearly every human being wishes he or she was born in another age, when we are sure we would like it better . but the reality is that we are here and now and people were ever or whenever would be just the as they are now, try to see the good in people , for in all of us there is good and bad depending on how you treat us , if you smile at people they userly always smile back . try it you will like it and the world will seem a better place

Answer 11

low self-esteem, confidence maybe. not going outside your comfort zone eg close few friends you have hinders your opportunities of meeting and extending your social circle. its sad but true, that you cant spend your whole life distrusting people. thats no existence. life is about taking chances. we all have to take the rough with the smooth. yes we'll probably get used and cheated on by guys/girls or friends at some stage, but you learn to pick yourself up and carry on. you become stronger for it! i had a v. close friend with this problem, and she has made huge steps forward in strengthening her confidence and trust in the outside world by joining groups where she gets to meet people in social settings. now she chats like theirs no tommorow, asks loads of questions and has built up her confidence immensely. im proud of her! if you can take that first step, you will be just as proud of yourself, and so will your close friends. im sure they will support you in your efforts to. good luck!