Is there anything like a good reason to cheat and abandon your wife?

Question

My husband's reason is that in the 7yrs of marriage I did not do things when he said to do it i.e learning to drive,go to college (I did go to college and learn to drive eventually).I do not bring in enough money and though I work full time and have 2 children ,5yrs and 16mths between us,a dog and a slob(he was not a slob when I met him) of a husband and try to attend to my duties as wife and mother he compares me to his friend's wife(She gets help with family and friends with her household chores and I don't) and says that his needs are not being met that's why he cheats though the kids are in bed by 8p.m and everything is in its place when he gets home from where he was after I come home from a hard day's work

Answer 1

hes an @sshole, and you would be better off without his sorry @ss

Answer 2

I'm sorry you're going through something so painful, especially since there is a child involved. I can understand why you wouldn't want to stay married. However, you may need some time to absorb the enormity of her betrayal before you make any decisions. Cheating is never the answer. If she isn't willing to acknowledge her betrayal or the hurt she has inflicted upon you, then she doesn't love or respect you. Bringing up old "reasons" is her feeble attempt to justify her infidelities. Nothing she can say can excuse her behavior or justify her cheating. As far as your legal options, I think you need to speak with an attorney. I don't know what state you live in but your options could differ from state to state. I wish you the very best - good luck.

Answer 3

No, but you have a good enough reason to get rid of him. He's trying to brainwash you. He's throwing up a smoke screen by making you out to be inadequate. So while you give, give give he thinks it's OK to take, take take. You got to know by now that you've become his slave. The question is how much longer are you going to put up with this abuse? When you've decided that you have had enough get a lawyer and sue his philandering hide for child support, custody, alimony and whatever else is your due. You've indicated here that you are a very able person and you succeed in the endeavors that you put your mind to. Much more so than what he will ever become(nothing) or what he does(nothing) or even what he deserves from you(still nothing). He is little more than an arrogant despicable louse who's only intent is to drag you down and make you feel worthless about yourself. Suffice to say that you are better off without this baggage weighing you down for the rest of your life. So feel free to rid yourself of these shackles as it is detrimental to you and your children's well being. You've put up with this long enough. Make the decision for a better life. Don't feel guilty about doing so and don't look back.

Answer 4

It sounds like your relationship fell apart due to a lack of effort by both of you, as well as him not being all that great of a guy to begin with. Cheating is something selfish idiots do and it really has nothing to do with anything else. If he was unhappy, he could have left or divorced you or, imagine this, actually worked hard on the relationship. The fact he cheated only means he is a child. He is not a good role model for his children, not a good husband by any means, and not even a man.

I would suggest in your next relationship that you establish equality in how you talk and treat each other and put forth the daily efforts to improve yourself and the relationship. If you do that you will have a better chance at success in the future.

Answer 5

It's very easy for us all to speculate and say "He's an a@@hole.....blah, blah, blah" but, it's obvious you love the man as, you've stayed for this long.

Or do you?

I think it's a little strange how you're still excusing him by saying you're doing all you can and he's STILL not satisfied. Did it not occur to you that you're doing a hell of a lot more than MOST women?

Yes, he sounds ungrateful, yes he sounds like a control freak and yes, if he was MY husband, I'd probably be sitting in a jail cell by now but, thankfully, he's not my hubby. He's yours and, you need to decide if you want it to stay that way.

Can you live with this for at least another 40 years?

If you can, then there's not much point in any of us advising you but, if you can't, ask yourself why you're still there.

You need to asess your own self-worth, honey.

You need to realise that there are choices and just because you're with someone, doesn't mean you HAVE to be.

I suspect your hubby is unhappy with his life and bullies you to give himself a boost. I also suspect you've taken it for so long, neither of you knows how to be any different.

Bear in mind, your kids will grow up. Is this what you want them to learn from relationships? Daddy is a slob and Mummy is Martha Stewart on the verge of a breakdown? I think not.

Be strong.......you'll probably surprise yourself!

Answer 6

Yes, there are valid reasons to cheat. 1. Victimized by an evil hypnotist. 2. Being a subject of some secret gov't experiment, and subjected to mind control. 3. Total amnesia. 4. Having been taken prisoner by space aliens and programed to behave wrongly. These excuse nearly .0000001% of cheaters. The rest are WRONG, and immature.

Answer 7

Sounds to me that your husband is the problem and has the problem not you. There is never a good enough reason to cheat. You are the only one who can decide if you want to stay with someone who cheats and puts you down. You work and that is all the clout you need to be able to make it on your own.

Answer 8

god all i can say is i was in a mirror image marriage for 18 years and 2 kids with him and i was so scared as he said that if i left he would kill me
eventually the marriage broke down and he now lives in thailand
like you i had no where to go and felt embarressed to tell anyone as well about the mental and physical abuse
i would go to the council and ask for their help honestly dont stick around it will get worse and you will be so miserable and so will the children there is help be brave and be strong only you can change your miserable life

Answer 9

I know it would be hard for you to leave him because of your children. But in this sort of situation its either you talk some sense into him if you still want to save the relationship or maybe some sort of councilling. But ask yourself, would you be able to get over the cheating? Just follow your heart and that's the answer.

Answer 10

he is finding excuses as there are no good excuses other than he is an a**hole! like you i do everything for my hubby as, like you, i am at home with 2 kids and i take care of all the household chores so when he is in from work there is nothing for him to worry about, now all he prob sees in you is that you are knackered when he gets in and not greeting him at the door in your sussies!! he needs a reality check and he needs to appreciate you for being you and for the hard work you do do with your children.
don't stop being you, let him carry on being an a**hole it will be him who loses out in the end-not you good luck hon x x

Answer 11

You sound like every mans dream come through.Your husband does not know how lucky he is. Give him an ultimatum. Either pull his socks up or find someone who is prepared to pander to his crude selfish ways. He will get a rude awakening. Good Luck.