I'm married to a wonderful man, he is caring and supportive, I love him and he loves me but in the last time I've been chatting with my first love, he is also married and with 4 baby girls. I was really in love with him, actually I waited years for him and 2 weeks ago (after 17 years) he confessed that all these years he has been in love with me and he still is, but never proposed because he didn't want to be between our dads' friendship. I am not going to leave my husband, he will not leave his wife and girls neither. We live now very far away from each other (he in America, I in Holland) but he has proposed that when I go to visit my family we can have an affair.
I like this guy a lot, he is really hot, but in the other side I love my husband and I am not going to play with my marriage.
Since he confessed that I day dream with him ... one part of me wants to have that affair but the other one says no. I have not told my husband and I will not do, but I feel guilty.
2006-12-06 22:23:36 · 18 answers · asked by anneke 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The temptation must be very great but, remember, you made vows to remain faitful in front of everyone. Honor those vows!
2006-12-06 22:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you've already made your mind up! Be very careful, you could be wrecking a wonderful marriage. Every marriage goes through a tough patch, and around 5 years is the usual amount of time that partners take to get a little bored with each other. If I was in your shoes I'd be having a 'bloody' good talk with your husband, remember COMMUNICATION is the most important factor in a relationship. Please don't ruin a good thing just because some dirt bag is praying on your naivety. He may just be out for a good time NOT a long time. Then how would you feel! PS Do what your head tells you, not your heart! Sometimes the heart makes silly mistakes that can NEVER be repaired!
2016-03-28 21:48:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe this man only wants you now because he can't have you. If you have an affair you will throw away a the beautiful gift that is the man you married. Throughout your marriage you will both have your interest piqued by others, but it will be fleeting if you see it for what it is, then let it go. I imagine this other man's attention makes you feel sexy again-enjoy that and let it be as far as it goes. I suggest you quit talking to this jerk who would hurt his wife and children for a romp. Do for your marriage what you hope your husband would do in the same situation.
2006-12-07 02:56:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy? All this guy wants is to have his cake and eat it too. He has a wife, you have a husband. I don't know if you realize this but you are already being unfaithful to your husband by talking to this guy on the internet. An emotional affair is no less damaging to a marriage than a physical one.
He's HOT? Grow up.....If he's willing to cheat on the mother of his 4 children to rekindle a fling that ENDED...He's a loser. If you are willing to throw away a marriage, for a loser, than you're a loser too. You say that you LIKE this guy a LOT but you LOVE your husband.....If you LOVE your husband as much as you profess to, get over the X. QUIT corresponding with this X immediately, and tell your husband what you have done. He deserves to know.
2006-12-06 22:51:35 · answer #4 · answered by mlw6366 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop all communication with this so called friend of yours. To start think about what you could lose if you have this affair. You think you feel guilty now think how guilty you will feel if you go through with it. This guy is bored in his marriage and wants his cake and eat it to. Don't be fooled if he had loved you so much nothing would have stood in his way of being with you all those years ago. Your husband sounds like a really great guy this one time infidelity could change your life with him forever is it really worth it. Think of all the lies you will have to tell and trust me if you go through with it then he will want to do it again and again and before you know it his wife will find out and I am sure your husband will find out. Stop now before you get too involved and someone gets seriously hurt. Best of luck to you and be safe.
2006-12-06 22:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart where ever it takes you but remember the you've made commitments you need to stick to.If you really want to have an affair than end your marriage first don't cheat.Of course a lot of hearts will shatter but you must be honest with your feelings towards you husband he has the right to know the truth.
Good Luck
2006-12-06 23:11:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are about to do a big mistake. what i honestly think about this is that this guy is playing you. if he is not happy in his relationship this is his problem. don't go down whit him. why loose something good you have in this damn life - for a affair that is never ment to be anything bigger but eventually you will hurt yourself and your husband and your kids and your marriage. why? why don't be smart and don't let this guy play whit your mind and your life ...because he wants to spice up his love life....on your expense. EVEN if he is or was in love whit you now you are both married and have something. do you honestly want to ruin it all...just to satisfy your desire...he played whit your mind whit some nice words and promises to have some nice time you and him..and this is beginning of crises and regrets that will follow- mark my words. will you be like all the rest - just another cheater. plz don't. this is a test for you how much u love Ur family and have respect for Ur self.
2006-12-06 22:59:57 · answer #7 · answered by tinker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the answer is simple if you really love your husband at all you should not even have a conversation with your first love,you are allowing yourself to be tempted.the best is to cut all communication with your first love NOW BEFORE YOU SUCCUMB TO THE TEMPTATION.you clearly have already commited adultery in your mind,but its never to late to stop.you have a wonderful husband why would you jeapordise that for the sin of flesh?he is married also which tells me that he is a very dangerous guy,he doesn't even respect his own wife.HE WILL NEVER RESPECT YOU.he does not love you at all if he did he would have thought of the conseciounces how this might hurt you.if i found happiness in a person i would never gamble with it just to have an affair.you both are acting childish.SORRY FOR BEING SO HARSH but you will be plain stupid if you allow this man to prevent you from giving your all to your husband.
2006-12-07 00:09:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your hubby has given you your needs, don't have an affair. he has been good to you and the first guy was out of the picture for 17 years. i don't think that a few minutes of "pleasure" will do you any long-term good. be faithful to your husband. your friend should be faithful to his wife and kids also.
2006-12-06 22:31:23 · answer #9 · answered by sinned 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love your husband why are you even thinking about doing something like this? When you visit your parents, don't tell this guy you are even in town. the temptation will be too great to 'just go say hi'. . .
Let it go.
2006-12-06 22:36:00 · answer #10 · answered by Raven 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT DO ANYTHING PHYSICAL
Day dreaming and flirting on the net is ok, but you would be a fool to take it further.
You both have families to care about now, so keep it on a platonic friendship basis with this guy
2006-12-06 22:36:12 · answer #11 · answered by Big Ben 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋