Was in long distance for 3.5 yrs and I kissed another guy because I was confused. It was just one kiss and months later I broke up with my BF and had a 5 month relationship. Got back with him and went through same confusion again. I love him but he's been so angry lately and we were on a break and I made out with another guy but its not cheating in my mind as we were broken up! He found out and got so angry that he threatned to kill me, I know he said all that cuz he was angry but should he be that angry? I didnt cheat it was just a kiss! I have now known him for 6 years now on and off...we are broken up this time for sure but just want to know if his reaction was valid at all! Comments?
2006-12-06 22:14:34 · 26 answers · asked by Curious George 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
yes, kissing is cheating, if you are in a relationship at the time. However, you said the two of you were not together so this is in no way cheating. What does concern me is the fact that he said he wanted to kill you. This is a very huge red flag, and leads me to think he has abusive tendencies. i can understand he may feel a little bit hurt, however, the maturity level should kick in, if you are not together what does he expect. God bless****
2006-12-06 22:18:49 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that he should have threatened you in any way. However, though you may not view it as cheating, he obviously did, its similiar to the bill clinton v. monica lewinski (" I did not have sexual relations") Its all in how a person views it. Some even go as far as saying that though they may have been intimate with another person, their heart has never cheated because they still love that person. So yeah you cheated on him, you may have not fu#$ed someone else but you weren't completely faithful. Instead of him finding out, you should have been honest and told him what you had done and lastly, "making out" isn't the same as just a kiss, which one is it? Your having a hard time being honest with even us.
2006-12-06 22:23:29 · answer #2 · answered by mr_leyva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were broke up at the time, I wouldn't call it cheating. In general though if you are with someone, most would consider it cheating to be making out with someone else. It is called cheating because you are breaking an understanding or contract with another person. It sounds as though it was for the best that you ended that relationship though, he needs to get his anger under control.
2006-12-06 22:28:20 · answer #3 · answered by mikesco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem here is you are not sure of what you want. This you must be making it obvious with all the guys you have come across. You decide what you want,. You want a friend , life partner, just a compny for time pass or have fun with guys. If you decide on this, you yourself will feel you are takng correct decisons. Regarding kissing it iis just an act of showing love to a person. Nothing to do with cheating.
2006-12-06 22:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by Kumari V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When with one man, refrain from kissing another unless you wish to be with that person and not the first. Clear, simple.
If you kiss another man once out of confusion or hurt or whatever, hey, mistakes are made... but if this is a pattern of behaviour then please understand that a kiss is cheating, kissaholic or not!.. lol
Stick to one mouth - I mean man - no, I mean both, at a time. And if you kiss a second, may it be because you wish for only him, and then it's time to make a move.
2006-12-06 22:19:39 · answer #5 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't consider it cheating in the case you two are broken up. Especially if it was a mutual decision. You two shouldn't get back together if this is going to cause major problems such as murder in the future. He needs to grow up and realize that when people are broken up you aren't mutual. That's the whole point. Now when it comes to jealousy it doesn't matter if you are broken up or not. That is where the anger comes from.
2006-12-06 22:19:03 · answer #6 · answered by Hugo V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the kiss and tell sweetheart: it's the feelings behind it, or don't you have feeling when you "make out?" It's what you put into it. You went with another guy, the what "if" vary far, and wide, and can be considered an act of love.
To start with Honey, I want to warn you, I didn't like what you said about your boyfriend, that he "wanted to kill you" but only "said that in anger" well Hon, that's when violent crimes are committed.
Maybe you should rethink your relationship with him for now, let it cool down, maybe let it go in the end before something happens. I think he should speak to someone about "anger management" and his temper. I've seen to many young girls come through our doors beaten up by boyfriends and husbands, they go back for years, until either they wake up or one of them gets seriously hurt. Then we step in with the police. I think you should seriously think about it. These statements are not out of context and are condemning in themselves.
2006-12-06 22:27:26 · answer #7 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't be kissing other people if you are in a relationship. Make sure you know how you feel about someone before getting into a relationship. I would definitely consider that to be a form of cheating, not the worst kind, but definitely a trust breaker.
2006-12-06 22:18:53 · answer #8 · answered by Raven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple kissing is cheating theoretically. But if you were on a break then it's not. If you two have an understanding that you guys are together then yeah. But breaks are breaks.
Remember what happened on the show Friends.
2006-12-06 22:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by DLB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound confused. Drop all unhappy thoughts and ask yourself what it is that you want. Breaking up and making up and then repeating it again can be tiring on you. Grow up and straighten your life. Find your Mr. Right and do not rush into another relationship if you're not sure nor comfortable.
2006-12-06 22:20:04 · answer #10 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋