i didn't find out that i had homosexual tendencies until after i started dating my girlfriend. I love her very much and know that i am going to ask her to marry me, but i feel like if i don't explore the "other side" of my life that it might come back to haunt me later. do you have any advice for me?
p.s. don't tell me to "snap out of it" there is nothing i can do about it.
2006-12-06 21:10:07 · 17 answers · asked by odieman_3 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
i dont know why people on here are so f*cking immature and cant answer serious questions properly. i'm a lesbian so i could probably help u out. if you haven't yet explored with the same sex, you may just be bi-curious. since it would be considered cheating on your girlfriend if you were to experiment, i suggest you let her know what's going on and she if she is willing to let you experiment. if not, maybe break up with her and experiment to see if you really are bisexual. you will never know until you try it. if the experimenting doesnt work out, you could always go back to her and if she really did love you, she would understand and take you back. maybe she would let you have a bf on the side. ya never know. hope this helps!
2006-12-06 22:17:01 · answer #1 · answered by ANGIE T. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes my friend, you're bi-curious. And to tell you the truth, tell your Girlfriend about your tendencies. Be Honest and Truthful. There are Men and Women that are in Marriages doing the DL. Mostly men. And their wives have no knowledge until it's too late. Please, don't put your Girlfriend through this, I've seen and heard it many,many times. And it will haunt you later in life if you jump the fence without her knowledge, marry her, you two have a very bad argument and she decides not to give you any SEX for a while. What are you going to do? Come on..be honest with yourself. You're going to think about that good piece of Cake or Sausage you've had sometime ago. Don't hurt her, tell her the truth!!!! Good Luck
2006-12-06 23:04:57 · answer #2 · answered by Bygtree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do not marry this woman until you are sure about yourself. Heterosexuals do not have homosexual tendencies. Only bisexuals and homosexuals have homosexual tendencies.
If you are committed to marry someone and you have a need to explore the "other side" of your life, then you are NOT committed to that person. Being committed doesn't allow for exploration, and to believe so means you are simply lying to yourself.
This isn't going away. Its not going to miraculously disappear when you are done "exploring". If you love the girl, you will love her enough to allow her a relationship with someone who is fully committed to her and her alone. That's not you.
2006-12-07 00:28:50 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be more cautious about my intentions if I were you, the marrying part scares me for you.
You have some strong homosexual desires if you say you need to explore the other side because you are afraid it will haunt you later.
It is haunting you now and once you explore (and enjoy it) your desires will not go away and they will not go away now as you know and you havent even explored yet.
This is far more serious then having a desire for a piece of cake and choosing not to eat it. If you are gay or bi you can not turn it on and off and like any human once you have experienced sex you will want more no matter if your married or not.
So many guys make that mistake they dont want to be gay and they are "functioning with a girl" looking ok to everyone else so they think they have control..........you dont and you never will.
I dont think I know a gay person that grew up wanting to be gay (not in this unfogiving culture) why would anyone want to be gay. It is not about wanting it is about who and what we are out of our human will control.
You can love a woman I did twice and married twice tried to deny who I was tried everything but I divorced twice, after cheating with men on both wives and ended up raising my sons by myself. Had a tough tough time with it all because I could not turn it off but I plowed ahead with my wants and my love for my wifes it still didnt make me straight. I needed a man no matter how muh I "loved" my wife and my "straight" life. I was lying to myself and everyone else I was gay and there was no stopping it....all I could do was try and live honestly and be who I was created to be me a true honest and loving gay man.
Please dont marry dont set yourself and your families up for this lie and failure, because if you are gay and marry you will not be able to be true to your wife and love her as she deserves, you will lie and cheat and ruin everyones joy and break many hearts including your own, because you cannot TURN IT OFF OR CONTROL WHAT IS NATURAL!
2006-12-06 23:19:22 · answer #4 · answered by Crampy Grampy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
so many of the answer's hit it exactly..you need to tell the gf about your bi-curious nature.as a gay man i can say i find many women attractive.but don't have any desire to sleep with them,or go to the level of setting up house or love and marriage.but this is something you need to be honest about before you pop the ?.so you know where the 2 of you are at.and best of luck where ever it may lead
2006-12-06 23:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by alan s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same story here...I quite agree with daddyrizq...
I guess the best thing you need to do is follow your instincts.. Imagine yourself in 5 years time, would you like to see yourself in a relationship with a guy or a girl? It's not only about sex, it's about who you really want to be with.
Many people find it hard to admit that they are homosexuals. i'm not talking about sharing it with their friends, I'm referring to convincing yourself that that's what you like...there's nothing wrong with that, it's just the way that we grow up and the society we are living in.
My advice would be to do whatever you want, there's not right or wrong, we only live once and we've got to make the most out of it...!
2006-12-06 22:19:32 · answer #6 · answered by D-tale 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
wow that is hard well if you truly love her than stay w/ her but if you wanna explore more than you can ask for and open relationship or you can brake up w/ her to explor but i would that is too costly cuz if you find out that your not gay and she was the love of your life, that would sux hard so the safest way to do this is ask of an open relationship! good luck and tell me how it goes!
2006-12-06 22:48:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
your not homosexual your bi-sexual and theres nothing wrong with experimenting but if you love your girlfriend and want to marry her, you should be honest with her its still cheating regardless of what sex you sleep with.
2006-12-06 21:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur probably bisexual.
tell ur girlfriend before u explore, else it'll lead to a whole mess of trouble.
2006-12-06 21:14:29 · answer #9 · answered by implosion13 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to your girlfriend about it. Perhaps you'll figure something out.
2006-12-06 22:20:33 · answer #10 · answered by sentencieuse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋