i just got married 3 months back... my husband stayed here with me till one month.. then he left to other country where he do job... my mother in law is not fair with me... she always creates fuss just becouse she cant keep me in her control... she wants me to be in control of her.. she want me not to take even a single decisions of myself .. i have to ask permision from her for every small thing... & my husb tell me to obey her.. the problem is she is not fair with me. I take permision from her for everything as they want.. but still she do my complains to my husband by calling him when she feels that iam not in her control... THE MAIN PROBLEM IS my husband believes his mother more than me !!! to support his mother he can even tell lie to me ! i have seen that.. and also i have proof of it with me ! But these things are spoiling our relationship.. TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO.. so that .. the relation between my husband and me should not spoil....
2006-12-06 19:19:11 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i cant go where my husband is because my studies are going on here... and i'm staying with his mother
2006-12-06 19:27:36 · update #1
First of all its you life and your husband!
Does your mother in law lives by you in the house? That would never work.
Best solution, talk first with your husband about this that your "both" old enough to make your own decisions and that your not married with your mother in law.
Then talk with her about it do it first politely and calm.
If not take serious action and get her out of your house.
It seems that she can't have that she comes on the 2nd place by her son now.
She has to realize she has now also a daughter.
I would suggest take serious action in this before you have children.
She can give advice yes, but see it not become overruling like this.
I wish you all the luck in it, other wise he has to chose between his mother and you.
2006-12-06 19:30:08 · answer #1 · answered by Chantal D. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what culture you belong to, but this situation just does not sound right or fair. You married the man to be with him, not to be his mother's slave. He must be totally in his mothers control too, or he would stand up for you. I feel sorry for you because I don't know if this situation is hopeful, but hey this is the twenty first century and if you don't stand up for yourself, no one else will. If I were you I would threaten to leave him if he doesn't tell Mom to back off. Unfortunately you may have to follow through, but at least you can make the effort to save your marriage first. Good luck.
2006-12-06 19:30:33 · answer #2 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being married myself ... the most important thing is communication (and sex). Tell him how you feel. If he truely loves you I think that he would want to take action and help the situation. I don't know why his mother is treating you like that but I think that you should tell her that you are a grown woman and not a child OR deal with it until he comes back.
2006-12-06 19:42:57 · answer #3 · answered by J.V. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is for only two people as stated in the Bible " A Man must leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife". No third person is allowed. I advice that you join your husband at all cost and by all means. You can mail me at dremip@yahoo.co.uk Good luck and stay blessed
2006-12-06 19:41:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For plan A ; If you love your husband you have to put up with your mother in law , first put down the ground rules with your husband and your mother in law ...................you have rights , and you will protect your rights as a person , and force your mother in law and your husband to respect you and your autonomy as a person . If this is not the case then resort to plan B , raise hell , and wait for a reaction to your favor , if not resort to Plan C and leave. Best of luck
2006-12-06 20:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by peter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand this situation since its the same with my parent's as im 13 years of age. What you do is tell your husband that your mother in law is doing these things and if he doesn't believe you then tell him who do you believe your mother or i, if he says his mother start packing your bags, hopfully he will think that your that dedicated to the answer you gave to him he would probably think yours is correct.
2006-12-06 19:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by crazycake7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two options. You can go and live with your husband where he is working. or you can move out on your own. well you have another or you can go home to your family. so you have three options. You are married to your husband and not his mother. i would move where my husband is. if that is not possible then i would move out on my own. if that is not possible then i would go back home and tell my husband that when he saves up enough money for me to come and stay with him and him alone, then i will move with him. Peace and Blessings
2006-12-06 19:25:58 · answer #7 · answered by PhatBeatz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems such as you're married on your mom in regulation. and you're very youthful and naive for a fashion which you write your tale and that i will tell. anyhow. you will possibly desire to stand on your rights, your husband does not owns you and your mom in regulation needs a awaken call from you. Draw your line, mark your territory, and set your limits together with her and your husband. in case you do no longer do it now, in one year you would be residing like a slave, being abused with the help of those 2 freaks. in case you opt for to maintain your marriage, you will possibly desire to pass out of that homestead and stay separate alongside with your husban. Your mom in regulation is poisonous. and of direction that she would be waiting to wreck your marriage. yet you're in value of your life and the alternative lies on your hand. settle on what to do, to stay the the remainder of your sensible a lamb or to be respected and enjoyed and in value of your individual life. stable success and one tip, next time whilst your mom in regulation mess with you supply her a broom and tell her right here you have WITCH, initiate FLYING OUT OF MY life!!!
2016-10-14 04:49:15 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be with your husbund or in your own home,you need to speak with your husbund about how you feel if he cannot respect you and your feelings then you two should not be married
2006-12-06 19:30:45 · answer #9 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obey his mother
2006-12-06 19:21:49 · answer #10 · answered by jacky 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋