I hate myself.........?

Question

I am a internation student who go to the college in USA. my parents pay college tituion because it is really expensive and I don't have money.(.it is really shame for say that ) they worked so hard for me but you know what ? i am very stupid and so stupid.. i am so sorry for my parents.they are so awesome but i am a stupid and ugly girl. i just hate myself.. one more thing, i think i am ugly person even though my parents say tha i looks nice or pretty. because i am their daughter, that's why they say that. somtimes my friends say that i looks nice but still i think i am a ugly person..i just keep hating myself..it is really miserable.

Answer 1

One immediate problem I see is how much you have put your looks into the list of important discussion.

Your look is not the most important thing for your worry right now. There are more important things in your live that you need to concentrate on.

You are a young adult lady. There is plenty of thing ahead of you. Your looks should be the least of the things that you keep thinking. In fact, you can very well be very, very pretty. Just that you refuse to acknowledge it. Or just that you think you are not pretty. Also, you looks will change as you become more confident and happier once you have found yourself in the right place at the right time.

Give yourself some time to do nothing but to think about what you want to do about your live. You are in school in a foreign country. This is a experience that you need to challenge yourself. This is the time you should be concentrate at school and learn about independance.

May be you are not doing so well at school but I know that studying hard and never give up will do the trick. I personally have seen people not as smart as I was did better than me. They all worked hard at the homework and really concentrate while I was kind of fooling around and being lazy. Looking back, I should have study harder and I will be better set in live.

Anyway, I want to say the following. You have something in your hand right now that many people do not have. You have your young age, an opportunity to learn in college. And you do not have to work for a living, as a matter of fact, you can not work in US as a foreign student. This is an opportunity that you may not have again. Give it the best shot you got and work on it. You may get better or you may fail badly. But at least you give your best chance and effort to try. Don't beat on yourself too hard on what is the outcome, as long as you really give it your best effort. The result may be disappointing but it can also be good.

We will all pull for you. I know it can be hard but as long as you stop beating on yourself and give your best try. Also, if your mind keep hating yourself, you will not be able to concentrate on your study. So try hard not to think about anything else other than study hard.

Good luck!

Answer 2

You are not stupid. You come from another country and perhaps english is your second language. OF COURSE you're not going to be as good at Literature, reading, and writing as someone who has been here your whole life. Also, smartness isn't just school studying. You need to emerge yourself into the American culture. This is what your parents want. A better life for you then they had. By finishing college and working hard you will get this.
Just don't worry too much. Your parents don't want you to get amazing grades. They spent all that money so you could LEARN (doesn't mean you have to get A's. there's a difference) and be apart of the greatest country in the world.
Surround yourself with good friends and people who study and are nice. Do not worry about your looks because you don't want to get into an abusive relationship or get STD's because you had sex with someone jsut because they liked your appearance.
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.

Answer 3

What you are my dear is depressed, and probably feeling very lonely.

We all have aspects of our outside and inside that we don't like. If we were perfect, we would not be on Yahoo answers... lol... it's okay to feel down sometimes, we all go through it, but maybe your parents and friends see something you don't. Sometimes we spend too much time looking at all the negative parts of ourselves instead of just getting on with living. Be a little kind to yourselve, acknowledge you're not perfect but understand neither is anyone else - we just do the best we can with what we have. We make friends to help us through those times such as these, and focus on things other than how bad we feel just to get by sometimes, too. I would recommend you have a nice long soak in the bath, a cup of peppermint tea, and then get out of that room and go out into the sunshine. Smile despite yourself, and the world will smile back. We're all fragile in the end. Hang in there.

Answer 4

If you were a parent and were able to pay for your child's college so your child could focus on their studies instead of working wouldn't you do that? If so, then allow your parents the heart of choosing to pay for your college. As far as you saying you are ' ugly ' . . . by what standards? There are very 'attractive ' people out there who have 'ugly' hearts and are selfish and mean. . . what good does that attractive face do ? And a person who is thought to be ' ugly ' . . . how silly is that? A person's heart shows through their face and eyes. If you feel ' ugly ' then firstly begin to be your own best friend and hug your own soul. Focus on your inner soul, groom and brighten your heart and soul and . . . wow . . . the outer ' shell ' is suddenly attractive. Allow your parents the joy of choosing to pay for your college, you can treat them to some joy from your heart to 'pay them back'. And, be a friend to your own soul and you will suddenly reveal to be A T T R A C T I V E.

Answer 5

Don't be so hard on yourself. Beauty comes from within, and it's the truth. Take it from someone who used to feel exactly like you.........now after many years, I know that no matter what I "look" like, I AM a beautiful person inside, which radiates to the outside.

Parents love their children and will do whatever they can to help them fulfill their dreams. I don't know any one parent who loves their child unconditionally who looks at them and thinks "wow, my child is ugly, worthless, and no good". A truly wonderful parent believes in and loves their children no matter what. You too will feel this way when you have your own.

For whatever reason you are not feeling too good about yourself, maybe it's because you are in a new country and away from home, but whatever the reason, give yourself time, be gentle with yourself and your feelings and everything will be fine.

Prayers and Luck to you. Ü

Answer 6

I knew a girl like you, but I can't imagine what you are going thru. She was an Asian girl going to college in the States (parents paying for it all, but she hated it), and she had no friends other than the other Asian students who were going through the same thing. She rallied around her friends, and they would put on these huge dinners that I loved. I got invited only because I was friends with her. I remember being the only white boy at these dinners, and anytime someone would speak their natvive tounge I would jump up and yell "hey, we are in america, speak american". They would all laugh, including me. I learned so much from their culture and even got invited to their "international dinner" which was exclusive but I got voted in.

I guess I was the funny white boy that tried to fit in, but when you sit down and try to understand their culture, they appreciate it. I would reccomend fitting in with your own culture first, and then make friends beyond that. She knew her own people, and then invited me to her functions. I said no a couple of times, then I went to the dinners, and they had awesome food and even better people. Try to do the same.

Answer 7

DO you want to feel sorry for yourself Or do you want to change.
Get a part time job at least pay for the X-tra pay for a tutor to help you learn, get in a study group. Ugly comes from within If your an abuser or user you will look ugly on the outside too because it reflect out of us. You feel ulgy because you are treating others bad .So change yourself.

Answer 8

One said that "one should explore herself before explore the people around us and even whole the world". So dear buddy never forget that you are a human being and I believe that there is no one born without any special quality in their self. You better find your given quality. One should examine his personality but not dislike. Finally think positive! You sounds a sweet carring soft hearted person.

Answer 9

You hate yourself because you keep telling yourself, saying to youreelf that you are so ugly and stupid.... of course you are not going to feel good about yourself.

You need to get out of your negative self-talk, anyway you can. Read positive books, listen to positive tapes, exercise, take care of your body and your mind, tell yourself positive affirmations and really put emotion into them "I am beautiful as a creature of God!" "God loves me just the way I am and so do others!". " I am very intelligent and witty!"

Good luck!

Answer 10

i attempted suicide at 12yrs, repeated the act 9yrs later, why? coz i felt i was useless. but guess what, it was all in my mind! Now i think God must have sent me a new pair of eyes to see the world in a different light. believe me the night is darkest before a bright day. right now i wish i'll be the last man living.