He calls me a ho. I told him I didn't like that & he says he's always called me that.
He flicks me off... says, “**** you.”
He gripes at me for things like crushing his chips in the shopping cart, taking 10 minutes to get ready to go out.
He mocks me almost everytime I talk to him.
I say “I love you” & a lot of the times he just says “Sure” or “No you don’t.”
He wouldn't let me go to my house after a wedding and change clothes because it was really cold. He didn't want his friend to wait at the restaurant for 5-10 minutes. (I live 2 minutes away from it). He said it would be rude to have him wait... wtf?
I noticed that most of these things started recently. The last thing was part of the fight we had a few days ago. It ended up being switched to how I've been letting all my stress out on him. It led me to saying sorry plenty of times. Did he manipulate me? I feel like I get angry too easily with him and all this is just in my head.
Is it just me?? Any advice??
2006-12-06 17:20:43 · 11 answers · asked by Wendi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
When he says these kinds of things, I just look kinda sad. And then he's like "What??" And I feel like a stupid spoiled brat who just gets upset about little things. But when he does this kinda stuff, it hurts me and I can't help but react the way I do.
2006-12-06 17:22:42 · update #1
I'm gonna try talking to him tomorrow about how I don't like the way he's treating me sometimes. If he really loves me, he will do something about it. I hope he does change. : (
2006-12-06 17:26:06 · update #2
No, it's not just you. The power play is evident in any social relationship. It's just human nature. A group needs a leader, even if it's only a twosome. That's what it is, maintaining dominance.
His leadership style is coercive and controlling; in the twosome this style is common and crude, but effective. It's not as destructive as using force or rage, and I suppose that's what makes it so popular.
Coercive/manipulative styles almost always fail in romantic relationships. People enter relationships because there is something to gain. If your boyfriend were my boss, I would put up with his power trips, as long as he paid me.
But what you want is something more than material, you want his respect and his care. You are not getting it. It's not a Win-Win relationship.
My advice is to draw some lines and make some demands. Be prepared to walk away. If he tries to make it physical, run away. More probable is that he will compromise.
2006-12-06 18:05:41 · answer #1 · answered by Lightbringer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You failed to state whether you were married to this louse or just living with him. If you are just living with him: run, don't walk, to the nearest exit and don't look back! Why would you want to be with anyone who does NOT love you? Abusive relationships NEVER work out! The only difference between him and a schoolyard bully is that he focuses his attention on one person--you--rather than several others. If you're married, well, then your situation is a bit stickier. I don't believe in divorce, except under somewhat extreme circumstances, which this SEEMS to be. But, if you can get up the nerve, and you really want to do it, then the decision is basically yours. Just remember, there are a lot more guys out there--better than him--looking for a good relationship.
2006-12-07 01:43:33 · answer #2 · answered by Charles d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In answer to your question: yes.
Advice: before you run you need to know that you cannot change anyone except yourself. How you deal with a situation or anything. Other people can only change if they themselves decide to. Asking him to treat you with respect will get you nowhere. He has done nothing for you when it comes to your own self-esteem or your confidence. These things are critical to your emotional well being and your life.
2006-12-07 01:44:17 · answer #3 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Noone deserves this kind of treatment no matter what you may have done. Get out now or kick him out. Find a guy who treats you better.
2006-12-07 02:01:46 · answer #4 · answered by Jim V 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question, yes it's verbal abuse and you should not stand for it. Find a guy who treat you with the respect you deserve.
2006-12-07 01:40:13 · answer #5 · answered by snuffe_74 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell out of that relationship that is abuse to the max and he will get worse has he started hitting u yet if not that will come. Please pack your bags and go
2006-12-07 01:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definitely do NOT need to be with this person. In fact, you probably shouldnt be with anyone right now.........Til you find out who you are, what you want, and what you deserve!
2006-12-07 01:38:08 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
in all honesty, it really sounds like its time you found a better guy who will treat you right. anythings better than this
2006-12-07 01:24:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like this guy has personsal issues that only he can deal with, You shouldn't ever take this, this is abuse, if I knew you personally, and you told me this I would knock him out and tell him to get out of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-07 02:50:35 · answer #9 · answered by fasteddie762001 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey!! Pack your clean underwear and books and get the h*** outta Dodge! Geez!! Why do you girls put up with this crap!!
2006-12-07 01:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by fallingstar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋