Okay, so I just turned 20, and my girlfriend of one year decided to reveal to me that she "isn't exactly turning 18" anytime soon. In fact, she is only 15 years old. I don't know how she got away with lying to me for so long. She said it was a lie that got way out of control and after a while she was just scared to tell me. I would never consider dating a 15 year old, and she knew that. But I guess its too late, I already love her to death and I'm close to her family. We've been through a lot including the recent death of her father. I was upset for a couple days but I couldn't stay mad at her. The worst part is her mother, family, and friends all knew she was lieing to me, but I never had a clue. I guess I feel kinda like a pedophile. Its also gonna be hard to explain to my friends that I'm in the military and dating a 15 year old. Is it wrong for me to want to stay with her?
2006-12-06 17:08:16 · 30 answers · asked by Vernam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Did she tell you why she lie to you? I don't care if it is a white lie. I still feel cheated.
Five years different is not a big of a deal. If you fast forward 5 years then you are only 25 and she is 20. Continue the relationship and be with her but don't do anything that would considered illegal by the long arm of the law.
2006-12-06 17:16:09 · answer #1 · answered by steve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that you love her,but she lied to you and you can get into trouble legally. I would say find some else around your age. The military maybe hard for her since she is young and may not understand what is going on. But if you like a person that lies go ahead. Also, doesn't it look bad if you have a gf under the age of 18 in the military?
2006-12-06 17:18:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The age difference between you and her is only five years. You fell in love with her thinking she was older. And she lied to you because she knew that was the only way you would date her. She could very well be mature for her age. Even though the law states if you have sex with a minor you could be arrested, I don't think she would be so mean as to report you. Obviously you feel very close to her. You shouldn't feel like pedophile. You were led to believe differently. And when you think about it, years ago in history it was perfectly normal for young girls of 15 or even younger to leave the home and marry. I hope it works out between you and her. You sound like a very good influence in her life.
2006-12-06 17:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by beautyofthesea 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Age is nothing but a number.
However, you may want to look a little deeper into things. Why did she lie to you in the first place? Has she lied about other things?
If she comes clean about her lies, maybe things can be salvaged.
Another thing - how did you not notice that she was only 15? Did you ever meet friends of hers? Shouldn't she be in school? Has she ever displayed immature behaviour that would be common to a young'un?
I personally dated a guy who was 22 when I was 17, we never noticed the age difference, but we aren't together anymore either!
Best of luck to you in your dilemma!
2006-12-06 17:15:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It isnt wrong for you to want to stay with her. You had no idea that she was that young, and you fell in love with her. Five years seems like a big difference now, but when she is 25 and you are 30, it will be nothing. You cant tell your heart what to do. You cant help who it falls in love with. All I can suggest is to try and see past the age difference at this point. Hope that I helped.
2006-12-06 17:11:01 · answer #5 · answered by June 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
honestly you need to check with the local law of your state - yes it's possible to get listed as a sex-offender for statuatory rape if she is below the age of consent.
That is permanent and doesn't go away even if you married her eyars after and can disqualify you from jobs, housing, lots of stuff.
I'm not answering your moral question, just giving legal advice. You have to decide what maturity is and what love means in action.
2006-12-06 17:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by Kshaw5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well so long as you don't have sex and everyone in her family is okay with it... also assuming that you love her.... I would say stay with her. there is nothing wrong with a 5 year age difference... down the road no one will even care... granted right now it may turn some peoples noses up but i say it doesn't matte what they think. Follow your heart.
2006-12-06 17:12:53 · answer #7 · answered by Olvido 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well! Her family must think you are quite a catch to play along while she deceived you. If the feelings between the two of you haven't changed and her family is still supportive, then stay together. Your friends don't need to know how old she is and it's really none of their business.
2006-12-06 17:14:07 · answer #8 · answered by Harley 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When ur in love, other things dont really seem to matter, thing like age might only seem really small.
If you love her, and as u say, are really close wiv her family and everything, if u want it, u can have it!
Im sure u could make it work!
Just remeber, if u want something bad enough, u might just be able to make it happen!
Goodluck!!! ;)
2006-12-06 18:30:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not trying to be mean but how could you not have known? Honestly find someone your own age, because if she has been lying to you about her age and her family as well. She will probably continue to lie to. No offense but it would be the smart thing to do in my opinion. However it is your call.
2006-12-06 17:12:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋