Triffids in my garden.?

Question

I carelessly discarded a packet of triffid seeds behind the garden shed....now there is a thriving colony of triffids behind there. They are decimating the local wildlife and pets. Also I think the postman has gone missing....I found his postbag behind the shed.

I cannot get close enought to apply weedkiller without becoming lunch. These critters are now roaming the garden and becoming dangerous....they are playing havoc with my petunias.

any ideas?

Answer 1

An old salior told me and I do mean an old sailor, you better believe it, boy was he old,do you know he was so old, that he knew the triffid King so he must have been old,he told me that triffids were friendly at one time until many, many, many, years later a person called Glenn occupied the house of the garden that these friendly little triffids had lived so happily for years, they used to go for messages for the old ladies in the neighbourhood, and yes you can guess troubles started when a stupid person called Glenn arrived on the scene he done the worst thing ever and that was to plant PETUNIAS these if eaten drove the triffids clean mad and reverted to eating people now back to the old sailor he had seeds that if planted grew into flying purple triffid eaters, the old sailor has rid every garden of triffids over the years with the purple triffid eaters they eat the triffids then they explode to be no more, now he tells me he is not releasing any more seeds because he said this person called Glenn being so stupid in planting PETUNIAS has brought this on himself he is stuck with the triffids, a prisoner in his own house because the triffids do not migrate so tread carefully Glenn.

Answer 2

I want to know why you didn't dispose of the triffid seeds carefully. You're like mothers who post panicked questions at Yahoo about how to treat the burns their infant got from spilling hot wax on itself.

Don't you have any common sense?

Since you can't think for yourself, I can only advise that you ask Yahoo! Answers how to go about initiating an evacuation of your neighborhood and obtaining a small nuclear device.

And for god's sake, before using the nuclear device, READ the INSTRUCTIONS!!!

Answer 3

Move. Once, coming into England when they were working on the M2 I saw an enormous sign, 'Heavy plant crossing'. I wondered what non-native English speakers would make of it. As I said to my husband, 'The Day of the Triffids.'

Answer 4

It has been a long time secret in my family that sea monkeys are the bane of all Triffids, Audrey II's and alcoholic grandmothers. Just order some sea monkeys out of your local comic book, then shoot the monkeys out of one of those battery powered super squirt guns "Lost Boys" style, and viola! Those triffids won't know what hit them!

Answer 5

Yes, Glenn.
You need to import garden gnomes. Once they have eaten the triffids all you need to is bring in a cat to chase them away!
Charles "That Cheeky Lad" and Harry Potter fan...

Answer 6

definite! they have interbreed with the tumble weed and are inflicting mass injuries on the line. they have not any concern and could provide up at not something! The Day of the Triffids has arrived! Lock your doorways! close your homestead windows! disguise your liquor!

Answer 7

Go get some tribbles and they'll take care of those troubling triffids, my dear.

Answer 8

Read John Wyndham right away because I can't remember for the life of me what kills triffids. God, was it fire...

Answer 9

It's too late! Raid the local supermarket, grab some weapons, and head to high ground.

Answer 10

Imitate their call and they will follow you.Lead them to the sea as salt water kills them,do it quickly before they do more harm and if you can get closer chop off the head,as that renders them harmless but be careful.Oh dear i wish i could help you can i call someone? tell me where you are quickly hurry up time is of the essence.......Oh drat that stupid dog is in the bin again, but wait thats not a dog .oh heck you'd better start calling them and please do it now help please shout them please........................mnjbhgrdcserfygijokp.........