I have been with bf for 2 1/2 yrs and hes been telling since 6 months into the relationship he's wanted to marry me. For 1 1/2yrs he said he would prob. propose to me when I graduated(this was mostly drunk talk). I'm about to grad. and hes changed his mind and said he wants to see how I do in the working world with my own job, so i can suppt myself. I asked him if he could give me an idea of when we would get engaged, and he said he can't be on a schedule. To give me a rough idea, he said "it won't be another five years, cause I know you would break up with me by then." Well he talks about us having kids together like its gonna happen soon. I've tried on rings. He told his mom he wanted to marry me. I feel like I was tricked, because he used to imply we would get engaged when I graduated. Should i even trust that he wants to get married? He broke up with his last gf because she wanted to get married, and he told her he did not want to marry her.
2006-12-06 17:00:43 · 7 answers · asked by Girlygurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, don't know why but guys usually afraid to get married. It's like falling to the most dangerous trap in the world. It's natural.
2006-12-06 17:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even asking this question when you already know the truth? I am assuming that graduation is from High school right? Well you are very young and you need to be sure that if you really want to marry that the man is sincere and will be a good partner for you. He is not a good person because he talks in circles and doesn't keep his word. Believe me you are making a big mistake if you think you will have a good future with him. Even if he changes his mind and decides to marry you tomorrow, he sounds suspicious. I mean why would someone test you to see if you can hold a job in the 'working world' anyway? What is that supposed to mean, he expects you to make x amount of money? It is my belief that any man who wants to marry should be financially stable enough to give his bride the choice of whether or not she chooses to work. Why would you be expected to support yourself when marriage is single union? If he is already thinking this way then he must be thinking of ways to get out from under the relationship at his own convenience. He is untrustworthy and clearly not right for you. Don't worry, one day you will find the right mate but don't rush it. Best of luck.
2006-12-07 01:15:57 · answer #2 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you've been hearing a lot of what you wanted to hear. But now with the passage of time your time table, & his are appearing to match up, less & less.
You may feel like you were "tricked" by him, but I doubt that he set out to deceive you. He's just had more time to think things over, & is changing his ideas on how he wants thing to turn out.
Personally, I think it's a great idea that a woman prove to herself that she's able to stand on her own without a man BEFORE she gets married. It's not really so great for the man, but it is certainly a good idea for the woman.
The best idea for you two is to sit down together, & work out a plan that works for the two of you. I know you said that he doesn't want to commit to a schedule, but if this is supposed to be a long term relationship, then you would be well advised to set some long term goals together. Otherwise if your outlook is short term, then that's how I would define your relationship as well. Short term.
2006-12-07 01:20:06 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, if he has done it once, it answers itself when he begins doing it again(to you). My suggestion is to show him how you do in the "real world", stop talking, communicating, and dating for at least a month, and if he loves you, that will wake him up enough to commit. If not, you are much better off finding a man that can meet your needs wants and desires without the influnce of alcohol. They do exist, but are usually older than the females... We just dont mature at the same rate, sorry!
2006-12-07 01:17:21 · answer #4 · answered by R. W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let him have the upper hand in the relationship! You need to let him know that you don't have a ring on your finger so go date. you never know what God has in store for you. You are forgetting you are the prize not him. The next time he brings up marriage tell him you are looking at some other options right now may be may be not. It is time we stop being so available to these inconsiderate men!
2006-12-07 03:23:08 · answer #5 · answered by renewed23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's wanting you to graduate, get a good job and support his *** before he'll marry you. Ditch him!
2006-12-07 01:12:11 · answer #6 · answered by pinkforyouonly21 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes
2006-12-07 01:06:23 · answer #7 · answered by amberharris20022000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋