When can a child choose which parent they want to live with?

Question

My husband wants custody of his Son. His son isn't happy living with his mother. She has had child protective services make her and her kids move in with an adult. We live in California, I am his step mom, we are married and have a nice place to live, at what age in Calif can a child choose to which parent they would prefer to live with? Also would my husband still provide his ex the child support for the son? He also has a daughter with this woman and he pays child support for both children. His son Steven will be 12 in January 07.

Answer 1

It depends.

Unfortunately, the law regarding a child's 'right'* to choose which parent to live with is murky, and varies considerably by State and jurisdiction. Although not a standard by any means, many States have begun to give 'consideration' to a child's declaration of custodial preference when the child reaches the age of twelve or thirteen. The judge is normally given almost unlimited latitude in whether or not he listens to a child and how much weight to give to the child's wishes. In short, there is no specific "age" when a child can say who they want to live with. In most cases the circumstances of the situation will matter as much or more than the child's age.

It is true, however, that the older the child is the more his or her preferences tend to influence the judge. For example, forcing a child of fifteen to remain in a home where he or she does not wish to be could quickly lead to more serious family problems. This 'harmony' factor may carry more weight in the judge's estimation than the child's preference itself.

Some States allow an "Affidavit of Preference" to be signed by a child to specify a custodial parent or Conservator. Again, the judge is given almost unlimited latitude in how much importance he attaches to the affadavit. Some may disapprove of it, feeling that the child has been unfairly put in a position of having to choose (and perhaps rightfully so).

Generally speaking, there are a few criteria that judges typically consider to one degree or another when adjucating a case where the child or children have strong preferences:



What is the reason or reasons the child wants to change residences? Is the reason a valid one? Is it a significant factor or issue in the child's life? Some issues have more importance than others, such as schooling or a need for specialized medical care.


What is the level of stability and reliability of the parent the child wants to live with? If that parent is unstable or unreliable the judge will not likely approve the change. The parent the child wants to live with must be as capable and as able to care for the child as the one the child currently lives with.


What is the level of the child's social maturity and emotional and intellectual development? Judges will be more receptive to a child who appears able to understand and deal with the changes involved in a modification of the custodial status quo.


How does each parent support the child's decision? Is the move being made against the wishes of either of the parents? Has the child been pressured, bribed, or manipulated into the move? If a judge senses that there has been any "behind the scenes" interference, it would be extremely unlikely for the move to be allowed.


With the move truly serve the child's best interests in the long-term? If a clear and significant benefit from the change in residence cannot be demonstrated, a judge will be unlikely to give approval. The benefit(s) must be obvious and long-term.


Can the child clearly articulate his or her reasons for desiring to move? The more logically and lucidly a child can explain why they want to change residences, the more likely it is that judge will pay attention to their preference. If the child appears uncertain, confused, or insincere, the judge will ignore or greatly discount what the child says.
In some cases the judge may decide to talk with the child privately "in chambers". Attorneys and parents are normally excluded so that the child can speak freely without fear of displeasing one parent or the other. It is worth noting that what a child tells or relates to a judge in chambers may not necessarily be kept confidential. No one, not even the judge, can guarantee that what a child says will remain confidential; indeed, the child's statement(s) may play an important part in the judge's decision and as such would normally become a matter of record.

Unless circumstances leave no alternative, children should never be asked or required to testify. Even having the child speak privately with the judge should be avoided. The stress that testifying places on a child is immense and unfair- even a 'private' talk with the judge in his chambers is testifying in some way, and the child knows it. No child wants to be placed in the position of being asked to choose one parent over the other. Only when the child has a genuine and voluntarily desire to speak with the judge should it be considered.

Answer 2

Look! You need to seriously speak with your husband and let him know that he NEEDS to take that woman back to the judge because your step son does have a right to choose which of his parents he would more likely want to live and grow with because obviously staying with his mother isnt the healthiest nor safest place to be...especially for a child. Every child deserves the right to be able to live and grow in nothing but the best enviornment...and what better place to start than HOME....That child deserves a home with a father and mother figure that he can trust and rely on without worrying about whens the next time CPS is going to knock at his mothers or whomever it is door theyre living at wondering if him and his sister will be taken away....You NEED to PUSH the idea of getting custody of Steven to your husband b/c if things are the way u say they are then that little boy really shouldnt be with his mom....parent or no parent.......TRUST

Answer 3

All states follow the "best interests of the child" factors. Age 12 is about where the child's shoice kicks in, however, it is not absolute and the court must review all the other factors in making a decision.

At 14, the court will weigh this factor more.

If there are other issues, you could probably win a battle.

If he has him, then she is supposed to pay support.

Best to consult a local (where kid lives/California) attorney, then the morons here.

Answer 4

When you turn on the news and you hear a story concerning an innocent household being struck in their house, do you feel safe? If this make you think after that you need to pay an appearance right here https://tr.im/Bo4V6 , a site that will instruct you the best ways to secure you and your family members.
Patriot Self Defense system is successful for 2 primary reasons. The first is that it use basic actions combined from all the best battling designs around. The second is that the manufacturers of this program didn't stop there, they took these steps into the research laboratory and ran all kind of clinical examinations to collect as much information as feasible prior to readying to function to examine this information and put together a scientific developed self-defense system that rather truthfully transforms the industry.
Feel safe with Patriot Self Defense

Answer 5

In the state of California the child can be 13 and the judge will listen to what the kids want.

Answer 6

There is no set "age" when a child can decide. Family court would have to determine that he is mature enough to make that decision. Growing up, I have had friends who were 16 and still weren't allowed to make the choice themselves because family court judges always think they know best.

Answer 7

Here in Ct the age is 13 & they can legelly move out at 16 as long as they have a roof over their heads

Answer 8

13 in Tennessee

Answer 9

14 in the state of texas

Answer 10

by. law the legal age is.12. years old and the child can pick wich parent it wants to live with in this matter. my opion?