I feel very guilty about not being with my child. She is 14 and lives with her Dad in another state. She is alone a lot because my ex gets home around 7 p.m. or so each day.
She is not having a normal life because she does not have both parents with her. I was thinking of moving to the other state where she lives, but my ex is very pushy and usually convinces me to come back and live with him.
I am not able to be strong and stand up to him so I end up giving in to him. I was thinking of going over Christmas for a few days and staying in a hotel. I can then see if I can stay on my own without interference from him.
I want to be there for my child. I feel very sad about the state of my life and that I could not be there for my child. She is hurting and I am helpless to take care of her. He does not give her rides to places or involve her in afterschool activities.
2006-12-06 16:23:28 · 9 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why is she living with him and not with you? try getting her back using the court system. let them see how she is alon at all times and is sad and she rather be with you. ur daughter is at an age that the courts will listen to her needs and wants. you have a chance f u do it the right way. dont move to the state if u feel u going to go back to ur ex, if u are separated its for a reason.
2006-12-06 16:36:33 · answer #1 · answered by gonzalezleon3022 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she would be better off living with you. if you are willing to give her the attention she needs and your ex isnt as willing, it could be good for all three of you.
about not being able to be strong and stand up to your ex...learn how. if you let him walk all over you, people will do it for the rest of your life. look at the positive side of NOT giving into him and the negative side of going along with him. do what is best for you and your daughter. THAT is the relationship you are interested in fixing and making work. focus on that. a 14 year old girl needs her mom.
2006-12-07 01:29:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel bad for you. I have always found that with guilt, there is also another way to deal with it. When a child is in the middle it's really sucks. I think that it would be good for you to get the courage to stand up to your ex, and say "Hey, my child needs me! I would be nice though. Again, your situation is tough. I hope that you can get the courage to put your foot down to your ex, tell it like it is. Do the Right thing. Sorry if this was not helpful.
2006-12-07 00:31:07 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan R 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she's old enough to know both of her parents well
when you go there for Christmas, ask her what she would prefer
a typical teenager will usually be unhappy with her living situation, but I guess there were good reasons why she went to live with her dad. Now that she's old enough to form her own opinion, ask her if she wants you to live there - she may be quite all right with how things are...
2006-12-07 00:51:41 · answer #4 · answered by carla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have any. This can be very simple. I am to understand that I am always doing what I want, whether I care to accept it or not.
Always doing what I want, why would I ever feel shame or guilt for it?
I know that controlling people is not for me. I do not project my expectations on others, and if I do, I catch myself. So, because of this, when I see others trying to put their fear onto me, it just rolls off.
I cannot be made to feel shame or guilt from others, nor can I make them feel it. They are responsible for their feelings, and I my own.
2006-12-07 00:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by jonas_tripps_79 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When a child calls to a parent for help, nothing else matters.
You carried her in your womb
She is the you reborn
GO...BE NEAR HER.
LOVE HER
Show her you would move heaven to be with her
and you will be proud of yourself.
P.S. This is about your daughter NOT your ex.
2006-12-07 00:40:09 · answer #6 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
why don't you ask your child to come live with you instead? see how things go. If your able to be there for her more than her Dad, then I don't see why not.
2006-12-07 00:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the other state, and visit with my child, come on its christmas.... who cares what he thinks or does. be there for your child. she would love for you to just show up, and visit... I would move to the other state to be closer to my child.
2006-12-07 00:41:00 · answer #8 · answered by ~*Jenny*~ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
forgive yourself and then people would do so...
2006-12-07 00:35:23 · answer #9 · answered by Karuma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋