How manner should I handle sexual harassment...legal or vigilante?

Question

Just curious what response I get out here…
I work in an entry level position at a small but prestigious public relations firm in my hometown. One of the older higher ups (50ish) has been known to get a kick out of hitting on associates waaaaay younger than he is. He always said stuff to me but nothing too graphic so I let it slide. However, it escalated last week. Here are some details: We have so called “huddle rooms” at work that are basically small rooms with a desk designed for small group discussions or meetings. We were both early for a meeting in one of the huddle rooms when he made a move. He told me that I should wear skirts more often and then copped a quick feel of my legs. Nothing drastic but touching is touching. I brought it up informally with coworkers but most just laugh it off. So I go the legal formal route or should I just go vigilante and slap the old dude next time? I don’t want to drag this out in office rumors but a slap would do the job I think.

Answer 1

you should report him to a higher member of staff. Sexual Harassment in the work place is a criminal offence and classed as gross misconduct he can be fired from his position for this.

Answer 2

I have had that problem before. If there is an even higher up person there you could submit an anonymous complaint simply stating that there has been inapropriate sexual refrences by this individual that you would like to have addressed. The person in charge should confront that person and noone ever has to know that you wrote the complaint. If it persists, you can get the guy in serious trouble for sexual harrasment, Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable about the way a coworker speaks, looks or talks about you is classified as harrasment.

Answer 3

Here is what you need to do. First of all do not become a vigilante, if you slap him you will become guilty of assualt. What you need to do is immediately go to you direct boss, or to anyone in the HR department. Upon hearing your complaint, they are legally required to immediatly take actions to resolve your complaint. Matters of touching do not require you to say no for it to be sexual harassment but you still need to tell this individaul that the contact is unwanted. If they do not resolve this complaint you need to go to the head of HR or to the highest officer of the company that will give you time. If neither of these people address your complaint it is time to get a lawyer because many people have neglected their legal responsibility to you. Do not strike this superior in any manner unless it is in self defense.

Answer 4

Hmmm...this is a tough one for me, as I have been there, worse, in spades.

NEVER let this go on, NEVER!!! In my case, it was the big boss, all three times....one I told where to go, one I quit, the other I just gave up, I had 3 little mouths to feed and the courts would not inforce my husband's child support.

Now I am severely damaged...between ex's abuse and employer abuse. I cannot work. I have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (and I thought that was only for soldiers in war!), MDD...I cannot go to the grocery store or even live a normal life. Other than the little I worked, I was a stay-at-home Mom who did her husband's job but he died so can't verify it now.

Unfortunately for me, I was utterly BELIEVABLE. You can tell by my face that I have never lied in my life. BUT....I did not report the last employer's abuse of me until 3 days after the statute of limitations for the EEOC.

The state head came in to see me. That is how believable I was. I was assigned a worker at first, fell to pieces within 2 minutes, she went to get the BOSS. He gave me the name of a lawyer that would take my case, a man who USED to work for the EEOC.

Hmmm....

The lawyers, all of them that I visited, they ALL said that there was no doubt whatsoever that I was telling the truth. But the statute was gone...and it would be his word against mine.

And I was too damaged to take the stand. I could not mention his name without falling to pieces. Damage done. Between him and abusive ex-hubby, I will be damaged probably the rest of my life. Flashbacks, fear, etc.

In a nutshell...if he is the BOSS, go to EEOC IMMEDIATELY!!! If he is an underling, REPORT HIM! Don't wait, do not pass go, etc.

You would be surprised what kind of damage this sort of thing will bring to you later. It begins with a touch...and moves on to something much more sinister. Believe me, I've been there and made the mistake of caving to prevent my kids from starving.

My bad. I'll never get over it, NEVER.

Please don't let this man start...then finish what he started while you mourn the rest of your life. :(

Answer 5

First, you need to document that you asked the offender to refrain for the behavior that offended you.
Secondly, getting a witness is usually crucial. That could also be someone who has had the same experience with this man, but is willing to come forward with it.

You may risk your future with the company. I don't agree that is right, but I am preparing you for the unfortunate truth of things.

Answer 6

Tell him directly you want it to stop. Inform him if it occurs again you will report it to his associates and do whatever it takes to preserve your job with dignity. Let him figure out the details.

Answer 7

I recommend dealing with it on your own. The legal system is only there for those who do not understand how to deal with their own "problems".

Answer 8

Were there witnesses?

I'm sorry to hear that happened to you.

Answer 9

set him up