How do I help my twin to decide to leave the abusive,alchoholic husband?

Question

They have a 5 year old son.My twin is stubborn,not too bright,totally under the influence of her abusive husband,who himself didn't and still doesn't have a normal caring relationship with his (now the alchoholics) parents or his older brother,who is total oposite from my sister's husband. My brother in law is possesive,controling,mean,has no boundaries for himself.He bounded me from their home(I still go to see my nephew;I was bound by him when he was in one of his"I'm drunk,don't care about anything,don't argue with me,everybody is stupid")episodes.My sister is passive,stayed with him after numerous beatings.He's not a good father.Their son is not getting the "right"attention.Little boy is lost,lacks discipline,doesn't obey,doesn't have much self confidence(already!)and there are other things happening with little boy. There was an incident,where my brother in law tried to hit my sister while she was driving(with their son in the car). An accident almost happend. My sister stayed

Answer 1

your sister is afraid of him and she don't wont to leave because she think he might do something to her. you need to talk to her to get her to leave him. you need to let her know that her son is going to do the same thing that he have seen daddy do or saying. she need to think of her son. because her son is going to turn out just like his dad. when he grow up he is going to treat his wife just like his dad treated his mom because that's the only life the child will know. she need to leave before it's too late. good luck on getting your sister out of that mess

Answer 2

There is nothing you can do to convince her to leave. The only thing you can do is to protect the child from being harmed and away from that type of behavior so he doesn't learn it. The only thing I can suggest is for you to contact the authorities about what is going on in the home and your concerns about the child, they will have the home investigated and if need be the child removed from the home, which sounds like it would be best for the little guy at least until your sister comes to terms with everything and decides to leave the jerk. The more you try to tell her to leave him the more she will stay and try and work things out with him just to show you he can stop all the abuse and drinking. I know contacting the authorities will be hard for you to do because it is your sister that is involved, granted she will probably be pissed off at you but after some time she will realize you did what was best for her son and she will thank you for it. Just focus on your nephew and help him get out before something happens and it is too late.

Answer 3

Gees, what a mess! Would it be possible to get her to go to a local womens shelter? If they heard what you said here they certainly would be interested and willing to help her get out and stay out. They usually help with legal advice also as far as getting restraining orders and maybe even to start divorce proceedings.

Answer 4

I am also a twin. My sister hated my theiving, abusive, drug abusing husband. I would not leave. Eventually it ended after a lot of bad years. She has to do it in her own time.....be there to support her as much as possible please. She will need it.

Answer 5

you may sound like a fink, but it may be time to get the cops involved

Answer 6

let her and him work this out that way you arent in the middle. my opion?

Answer 7

IF IS SO ABUSIVE, WHY WOULD SHE NEED SOMEONE TO "DECIDE" FOR HER? SOUNDS LIKE SHE WANTS TO BE WITH HIM