My friend has 2 kids and is pregnant but isnt financially stable at the moment but she was going to have an abortion but changed her mind. Now shes wondering if she made the right decision because the father walked out!! Shes stressed out. Any advice i can give her???
2006-12-06 15:50:22 · 24 answers · asked by MS. DAISY 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Mentioning the word abortion on here pretty much puts you at risk for a lot of scrutiny! The people here are pretty biased. All I can tell you is that single women make it work with 3+ kids every day. She has to realized that this is going to be a long, hard road..but it's possible. Tell her to visit a site called www.youandmekid.net It's a support site for single, pregnant women and single moms. The women on there are so wonderful. I don't know that she made the right choice, and there's always adoption if she decides 3 kids is just too much. Abortion is a very difficult decision to make..I've been there. I'm also pregnant and single right now, so I can sympathize with her both ways. She's lucky to have a friend like you who cares.
2006-12-06 16:00:45 · answer #1 · answered by loveulatte 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, she did not make a bad decision. She should find the local pregnancy support center and go to them for help. They are VERY supportive places and can help her get medical care, free ultrasounds (at some), stuff for her and the baby and even give her information on adoption if she's interested. Most of all, right now she just needs someone to love her and support her. Having a baby is hard. Try to take her kids for her once in a while and just let her know you're there for her and support her decision to keep the baby. The scars from abortions will last her for the rest of her life. She is doing something AMAZING by bringing another life into the world. Give her a hug!
Susan
www.JoyFilledHome.com
2006-12-06 23:55:24 · answer #2 · answered by Michael and Susan W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she made the right choice NOT to abort. As for the person who is talking about millions of kids in orphanages, they don't know what they are talking about. That is not a problem in the U.S. especially with newborns. Also the child is not going to grow up feeling like their real family didn't love them. They will feel like the birth mother loved them enough to try and give them a better life. My wife and I adopted our first son. He is 4 years old now and is still a very happy normal well adjusted boy. He loves cars and loves to play with his sisters and has friends and even a little girl that likes him a lot. I can't imagine our lives without him. We would not be able to have the joy of him in our lives if he was aborted. Also he asks lots of questions. When ever the subject of his birth mom comes up we always tell him how much she loved him. We have pictures of the social workers and everyone else involved with the adoption in a book just for him to look at and ask more questions.
Otherwise if she keeps the child there are lots of programs out there to help her. Yeah the children are not going to have everything they want but you don't want them growing up spoiled either. If there is love in the family the child will be better off than not having the chance to live, love, and grow up.
Just my 2 cents.
2006-12-07 00:19:59 · answer #3 · answered by Adam 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know what -- this is HER problem and HER choice -- and you can only (as a friend) sit there an listen as a sympathetic ear -- she has to make the choices in her life in regards to the NEW life that is growing within her.
One of the things you may want to bring up is that she go to one of the Pregnancy Clinics, and learn about birth control and family planning -- which it seems that she really should do ... and this means if she needs help getting there -- then help her do so. They will be better able to help her with her FUTURE choices in the areas of Reproduction and she can then make an informed choice at that time.
2006-12-07 00:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the friend, you? I read a previous question of yours and it said you are 2 months pregnant. Plenty of women raise babies without a man, and vice versa. I have had an abortion and it is one of the hardest things you will ever go through. I did it to make my husband happy and we are getting divorced now, which is two years later. I regret every minute of it. I say she made the right decision.
2006-12-06 23:55:16 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy To Be in April 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was also pregnant and the father walked out. I have a very positive open adoption plan. If you'd like to talk to me, feel free to send me an email or IM.
2006-12-07 00:20:35 · answer #6 · answered by CrazyBirdMom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should not get an abortion. If she does not want to have the baby then there are a million couples that would be willing to adopt a baby. Adoption is the only thing I would ever think of. I mean I am pro choice like say the woman gets raped, but don't use abortion as a form of birth control.
2006-12-06 23:53:19 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Vira 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Adoption is great IF one has the finances to go to term with a pregnancy, but there are check ups for the pregnancy not to mention the hosptial stay and birth. Not ALL adoptions are paid for by anyone BUT the birth parents. Your friend made a difficult choice but it was HER'S to make the fact that the father walked out only proves that he wouldn't be much help in the long run anyway.
2006-12-06 23:55:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Remind her that no matter what she chooses, she will feel deep regret.
If she has this kid, she will always wonder if she's cheating her current kids out of clothes and food.
If she has an abortion, she will alway wander what the baby would have been like.
If she gives it up for adoption, then she'll wander if she's cheating her kids out of a sibling and she will feel rotten for not being able to raise.
None of the choices are pretty and all of them will leave her depressed.
2006-12-06 23:59:15 · answer #9 · answered by hawkthree 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your friend is an angel. She is listening to her womb. She will recieve her rewards in the growing years of her child, and though it may seem a long way off before she is free of tending to children, it will soon pass, and she will be soooo grateful that she made the right decision.
I think her unborn child is already a miracle.
Tell your friend to carry her child with pride. Children dont need money, just love.
2006-12-06 23:59:18 · answer #10 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋