He's 29 and I'm 30 - we met in a bar. We met three years ago, and we both drank rather a lot socially. Now, I know I've changed. I'm now into fitness, and my job, and want more than our Brooklyn neighborhood, which is centered around the bar where we met. He also has a new job, and at two work functions he's gotten so drunk he admitted he couldn't remember half of the evening. He drinks 4-6 beers each night normally. Every night of the week, and more on weekends. He has some shakes on the few mornings pre-coffee that I've paid attention.
I know this is a stupid question as it seems obvious, but I'm in the relationship and I am having problems saying this might be true. Am I engaged to an alcoholic? Or do guys just do this? Drink every night?
He's not abusive to me, never has been. But I'm scared. Is it only a matter of time?
2006-12-06 15:43:59 · 8 answers · asked by yupagirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think you may very well be. This hits close to home, my son was and is just like your fiance. He drank every evening, more on week-ends, even getting drunk. He had a good job, manager of a well known lumber store. He lost his license, lost his job. So, yes I'd say you're engaged to an alcoholic. The question is...what are you going to do about it? Stay and take your chances, or tell him how you feel? I don't think this is a good start to a happy marriage.
And Yes, I think it is just a matter of time
good luck and god bless
2006-12-06 15:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by bobbie v 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, guys do not "just do this." If I were you, I'd think long and hard about being involved with him. For one thing, who drove him home from that work function at which he got so drunk he could barely remember it??? Hopefully, not him!
Abusiveness may come w/time. But do you really want a life with this guy who cannot seem to control his drinking and probably doesn't even think he has a problem???
Sorry to say but it certainly sounds like he's an alcoholic, or at the very least a "problem" drinker.
2006-12-06 15:48:46 · answer #2 · answered by 60s Chick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an alcoholic and it IS only a matter of time. Break off the engagement until he gets some help. You do it now or do it later. Sooner is better than later! I married a man like that once. Trust me it gets worse and worse over time! Take my advice! You won't be sorry. There are plenty of fish in the sea!
2006-12-06 16:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by ruthie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him to go longer than a day they can usually do it for one day its about 1-2 weeks they can't do. You will be able to tell the moodiness, sick & just very ill tempered.
I think you already know the answer to the question. Its alright to still love him but I wouldn't marry him until he straightened up.
2006-12-06 15:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by daydreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him not to drink for one day and if he gets angy due to your pushing and won't try to prove to you that he doesn't have a problem you are engaged to an alcoholic.
2006-12-06 15:47:53 · answer #5 · answered by Leslie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him to go without for one day. If he can't he's an alcoholic.
2006-12-06 15:50:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like if he isn't now, he's on his way to being one.
2006-12-06 16:04:17 · answer #7 · answered by art_tchr_phx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bingo...he & u need help
2006-12-06 16:12:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋