Greed
the evil of the world is generated by greed:
sometimes the rich don't see the need
to spend their cash
on a world facing global warming and too much trash
as well as famine and poverty.
they instead spend it on the property
out in the east hamptons
they live on thinking they are the champions
of the world as it detiriorates all around,
yet those surrounding them make not a sound
and as if what i said before
wasn't bad enough most still want more.
all this makes me wonder:
if i ever hit the numbers
would my mind plunder
as their's seem to?
would i blow it all on diamonds and a million shoes?
or would i c the world's troubles
and notice how it seems to crumble
between my own 2 feet?
would i b able 2 defeat
the ideals set by society and my mind?
if so, i think i'll find
the geatest feeling of all-
knowing that i can stand tall
and sleep well at night
because i diid what was rite.
2006-12-06 15:40:45 · 10 answers · asked by ♥aɳgel♥ 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Primary & Secondary Education
It is good; however if you are handing it in for a grade use spell check and punctuation would be nice..
I used to be an editor and all those things really jump out at me...But then again it may be your style so nevermind(you know your teacher, not me)
2006-12-06 15:54:38 · answer #1 · answered by Mod M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya the message is a good one. People are greedy pigs. 10 percent of the people control 85 percent of the wealth. 80 percent of the world lives on less than two dollars a day. I want to go back to the time when if you needed food you shot a deer, a house, cut some trees, veggies, plant some seeds, a wife, offer ten cows. It may have been primative but your survival never depended on someone employing you, and how much they pay you, and not firing you at christmas. Business owners are greedy. They see labor and a pain in the butt expense and believe me if minimum wage was 10 cents and hour there are people out their who would try to pay that to you.
2006-12-06 15:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by mike n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The message is a good one; and it's good to see a poem that isn't about love.
Honestly though, I would rewrite some of it so it doesn't rhyme.
You used good descriptive words.
2006-12-06 16:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by blender 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not much of a poet, but I think it looks great. Wonderful message too. Good job!
2006-12-06 15:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good, really! Did you made it? But some are spelled wrongly...
2006-12-06 18:31:28 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its good, but sometimes poems have more impact when they don't rhyme.
2006-12-06 15:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by Wipe me Down 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very good actually. rather profound too! i'd say you learned the golden rule well. :)
2006-12-06 17:09:23 · answer #7 · answered by DEANA S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty cool!! atleast its better than what i can do
2006-12-07 11:10:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it sounds good say you were in the money would you do what was rite? just checking........................its a nice idea
2006-12-06 15:51:48 · answer #9 · answered by terri e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is good exceptt you spelled right wrong
2006-12-06 15:53:53 · answer #10 · answered by Irie 123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋