How do I get on with my life after all these 14 yrs?

Question

Recently my husband and i were to get back together while he played games with my heart and emotions,he turns around and tells me he does not love me anymore and it was over with and get on with my life that he had someone else,i find out.

Answer 1

My husband left me after 20 years and it was hard. I took it minute by minute, and would try to spend 60 seconds not thinking about it at first. I got involved in other things that I had wanted to do for years, and ate food that he didnt like, and went places that he didnt want to go, and did things that I wanted to do, like sleeping until noon on Sat.

After awhile the 60 seconds of not thinking about it would turn into 5 minutes, and then it would turn into 1 hour, and so on.

It has been a year, he moved on very quickly and even though our divorce is not final he is engaged. I try to think about what I gained from those 20 years, the experience, the wisdom, and what I want to bring to the next 20 years of my life.

I wish I could wave a majic wand for you and the pain and hurt would be erased. It is not that easy however. Think about your life, and what you want to accomplish. At the end of the day, you are left with only you. You are very valuble, many people wait for you to appear each day, your life will go on and you will be a blessing to many people.

Answer 2

You know what.. telling someone "I don't love you" any more is wrong on so many levels and probably isn't even true. The love may have changed but I doubt it all went away. The truth is he probably doesn't know what he is feeling and that is why he played all the games with your heart. Don't even think that the 14 years were wasted, just be thankful you didn't waste 28 years with the looser. When he told you to get on with your life, I hope you picked up your coat and said "Thank you, I think that is exactly what I will do, starting right now" and walked out the door and didn't look back. You should feel like a free bird. For some reason your guy changed, but I bet down the road he is going to kick himself in the bum, when he realizes what he loss.

Answer 3

How do you get on with your life after being married for 14 yrs. to your husband? It is a very hard question to answer, but the only way is to take each day you live as a victory, I guess that the only one that can give you reassurance would be someone that had a similar experience as you did, My third oldest daughter passed through the same situation as you did, the difference is that they had two kids,but I was, and still am proud of her because she proved to that no good you know what of a man that she would preserve-er and she enrolled in college and got her degree in office management, and got a good job in a government office. I hope that reading what I wrote would help you a little to ease the pain you are suffering, and I know that eventually you will meet another man that would appreciate you just for being you. Good luck, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Answer 4

You and I both know there is no easy answer to your question.. First of all, stop looking for someone romantically.. at least for a few months.. Work on yourself. Find something you love doing and do it, be that a job, or sport or whatever (except drugs and alcohol and sexual addiction, of course.)
And know that your lucky that this happened now, and not ten years from now..
Then little by little , go to the same place day after day, be that a gym or a tennis court or golf course, and little by little you'll meet new people that like you for being you, and you'll be fine.
But do not fall into the trap of going to bars, drinking too much or sleeping with your husbands friends. Take care of you. Do nice things for you. ok?

Answer 5

You know what as hard as it will be run and never look back....Don't waste your heart on someone who direspected so badly..I mean he doesn't even care about you let alone love you if threw out 14 yrs like yesterday's newspaper...Enjoy your freedom for awhile go out with the girls and have some fun you deserve it....Then when you least expect the right man will come along and when he sees you truly happy, something he couldn't achieve, he'll be the one who's sorry...best wishes

Answer 6

I am so sorry to hear of your situation, it is very sad and unfortunate. However, all you can do is get on with your life. I know it is easier said than done. Start out by doing some special things for yourself ie; shopping, crafts, going out with friends, get a makeover, join a fitness club anything that might make you feel better about yourself. You deserve better than him if that is how he sees fit to end a relationship...he will get his, watch and see. Good luck!

Answer 7

Be grateful that you are rid of him b/c he's obviously a loser. Take comfort in knowing what goes around comes around, but don't waste your time thinking about him. Invest time into pampering yourself doing things you've always wanted to do, going places you've always wanted to go, maybe you have some single female friends or family to go places with but if not its okay to make new friends or go alone. Give yourself time to heal from the situation, make yourself happy and improve yourself.

Answer 8

Girl, I understand! I was married for 10 years, then divorced, then tryed to reconcile. It has been a year since he told me to move on. It hurt like hell!! I wanted to die. I suspect you have tried everything to reconcile. I did. It is so very hard to move on. I wish I could tell you something that was easy and without pain, however, I can-not. It takes some very strong understanding from you. Do your best girl. I'm praying for you!

Answer 9

yes 14 yrs is a long but u gotta move on right ? so tell tis heartless man 2 f...off . there r plenty of good fishes out there .

Answer 10

You are probably better off...at least he's being honest with you instead of stringing you along..............