I have been with the same man for the last 8 years. We got married 3 1/2 years ago and now I don't love him like I use to and I want out of this marriage. I didn't just decide one day that I don't love him anymore, I'm just tired of his "habits" and the fact that he won't stop doing some of the things that he does. He does illegal things and won't stop. I've asked him and even begged him to stop, but he just slowed down and tries to do these things in a way that isn't as obvious. We have a daughter and I can't see myself raising her in the time of environment that he is drawn to. I'm really close with his family and I think they are the reason why I've stuck with him for so long. He was doing these same things before we got married, but I thought that he would grow up and change once he became a husband and father. He has told me that I am rushing him to change and that I need to give him time. I feel like I've given him enough time to change. What should I do?
2006-12-06 15:16:46 · 17 answers · asked by Sohisticated Lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What you're facing is really a big challenge.Try to discuss with him in a serious manner.mentioned many times bout your child future.He's a grown man,i believe he can't change because he don't have your support and a good stable job to stop his 'habit's to get a good job for him,and lots of care and concern will be a great help.try to amend the relationship and remember the good times both of you had spend together.If you really can't,you have to let him know,and a short separation is a good way both of you can sort things out.Good luck.
2006-12-06 15:26:23 · answer #1 · answered by ike mie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its ILLEGAL things, meaning He can get in trouble with the Law, Then Yes, You shouldnt be with him, if he isnt willing to get help or change.
I feel for you, and Im sorry that this has happened to you.
I dont believe in divorce over pety stuff, but If he isnt living a good life, cheats on you, or is on drugs or something. Then you have a right and need to escape it.
Tell him that he has to change now, or you are out!
2006-12-06 15:21:05 · answer #2 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married the guy knowing he does these things. You chose to be with him regardless of his shortcoming and behavior. You took vows, you made promises. It sucks that you have to deal with problems in your marriage but you know what, everyone does.
As far as the love thing goes. Well, love comes and goes in a marriage. You won't always feel in love, you won't always feel happy, or fulfilled, or satisfied. That's marriage. No one ever said it would be easy and if they did, they lied to you.
Imo, you need to honor your commitment. That will determine the kind of person you are and the kind of marriage you're capable of having.
2006-12-06 17:13:14 · answer #3 · answered by wiseguy_311 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with your Preacher, seek a counselor before you take the final act of a divorce. If you feel hopeless or not in love anymore then you should consider what you'll be doing as your next step without him.
2006-12-06 15:25:45 · answer #4 · answered by supressdesires 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its best to seek help from a marital counselor. i wonder if your husband is taking you and your requests seriously but he thinks you will always stick around. Give it one last shot see the counselor get a 3rd party perspective and try to open your husbands eyes once and for all. If that doesn't work try a trial separation and go from there. It may take some drastic measures for some to see the error of their ways even if they have children.
2006-12-06 15:20:26 · answer #5 · answered by So Happy!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should try everything possible first before you decide on a divorce....Maybe you two to go to a marriage seminar and just get away for the weekend....I know the thought of counseling sucks but give it a try.....Marriage is worth more than just giving up....So is love...
2006-12-06 15:21:02 · answer #6 · answered by Steven A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the good advice i will give you is this if your husband loves you don't said this again perhaps if you do divorce with him will you feel happy .cause you have a baby girl, perhaps if your daughter do the same when she get married and that time you are old how will you fell ,my sister this world is nothing
2006-12-06 16:09:35 · answer #7 · answered by honey4life y 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time will keep on ticking, excusing will keep coming and nothing will be resolved. Kick him to the curve, move on and make a good legal life for you and your daughter. Nothing like saying Times up.
2006-12-06 15:24:11 · answer #8 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hv 1 last heart 2 heart talk n do give him a time frame n by d time is due make sure he is clean . if not take ur doter n walk out .
2006-12-06 15:23:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lay the law down.....(sorry for the pun) If he doesnt STOP breaking the law, you will turn him in, AND leave him. Or that you'll tell his family (or do they already know)
Oh dear, could any of this be hazardous to your health???
2006-12-06 15:35:39 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋