Been married for 3.5 yrs now. The money problems I've been having with her is this:
1) she hardly ever contributes to our household (we have no kids) for bills, food, entertainment etc....I've asked her for, just a little like maybe $300/month. Her monthly income = appx. 1300/mo.
Her excuse is: (a) she's got to fill gas in her car (b) she needed
to buy something etc..
2) + Mid-2005 I lent her family (wife's mom, brother, sister) $5000. My wife is paying me back and the inlaws are not helping. its been over 1.5 yrs and theres $2000 left to pay. Took my wife months to start paying even though she was working and not helping with bills.
+ my wife lends money to her brother, sister, and/or mother. she doesn't tell me when she does it..i just find out later. Probably why she doesn't have money to help me out with the bills.
+overspends on family..she won't help me with bills but buys her family stuff
Really getting tired of talking to her about this..
Any advice? divorce?
2006-12-06 15:07:59 · 7 answers · asked by OKBk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1. Draw up a budget.
2. Work out how much you are earning and how much she is earning, and then work out a fair split for the bills. If you both earn the same, the split is 50/50. If you earn more, then you should pay more, etc.
2. Based on that split, identify which bills you will pay and which bills she will pay. If you can, get the bills she has to pay put in her name.
3. Sit down with her and explain that you are thinking of the future, and that you both need to learn to budget and save for the future when you have kids and other responsibilities.
4. Show her the budget and tell her this is the way it's going to be from now on. Say that when you go out, or when you go food shopping, you're going to take it in turns to pay.
You have to be strong. Don't back down. If she doesn't pay her bills, don't pay them for her. It may mean the electricity gets cut off, but don't do it. She has to learn that this is important, that she has to stop being a kid (or a user) and behave like a mature adult who is a partner in this relationship, not just a freeloading passenger.
It's possible this could lead to divorce - but if she leaves you because you won't pay for her, then you are well rid of her. She is using you as a meal ticket.
If you have kids and she stays at home to look after them, you will have to bankroll her clothes and her family as well as what you pay now, and things will get really tough. You don't want to get into that!
2006-12-06 17:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by Kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her behind go... But not before you get all your money back. Then move on and find someone who doesn't mind sharing the responsibility with you. Unless she was like this prior to marriage you really could do better...
2006-12-06 15:15:51 · answer #2 · answered by egreen3rd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just stop supporting her, tell her if she doesnt pay her share she will have to leave your house. dont divorce her or you will probably end up having more money problems with her just threaten her to move out if she doesnt help pay
2006-12-06 15:11:24 · answer #3 · answered by jenniferyoung1987 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Leave her
2. put all the bills in her name and stop paying them
3. stop paying any if her bills
4. TELL her to pay the bills
2006-12-07 05:12:40 · answer #4 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try some counseling. Financial and marriage counseling.
2006-12-06 15:11:22 · answer #5 · answered by suz' 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you have to remember is that when you become married the money becomes both of yours not seperate....Get this stuff out of your mind that it is just your money.....Sure she needs to talk to you about it.....But talk to her....Divorce is never the answer....
2006-12-06 15:15:53 · answer #6 · answered by Steven A 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get some counseling...let somebody else tell her she is doing wrong.
2006-12-06 15:11:30 · answer #7 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋