I can't seem to find worth in anything else but the approval and reassurance of other people... It seems like their opinion of me and my performance matters more to me than anything else... Advice?
2006-12-06 14:58:20 · 8 answers · asked by reba 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Don't be so concerned with other people. People can be mean and you could be seeking approval from people who will never give it to you even if their lives depended upon it.
This is a poem by Mother Teresa:
Love Them Anyway
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
2006-12-06 15:59:21 · answer #1 · answered by gotanswers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are you probably never got approval from your family.
Maybe you felt you were never good enough. And that has carried on in your life.
I think that once you know you crave approval, changing it is actually a choice that you can make.
Otherwise, you'll be giving away your power for the rest of your life. And... chances are that while you think other people are constantly thinking about you... they're not. They star in their own lives. You do not.
I'd suggest talking to a cognitive therapist.
And here's the good news: knowing that this is your pattern... is half the work already done. Because you can't change anything you don't acknowledge.
Plus, remember that if your Higher Power (whoever that is for you) were to come and sit right down beside you right now, do you know what he would say? "I love you. And I think you're wonderful."
Good luck to you! You can do this.
2006-12-06 23:13:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you really can fix that, it is a part of you. Meaning it is more in your personality profile. Yes I am the same way, always feel I need someones approval especially the way I look or if my place is clean...etc we just have to tell ourselves that most people don't even care. I always say wish I could be like the person that doesn't care how messy their place is or how unorganized they are. That even bothers me when I go to my girlfriends place it is so messy that I want to clean it up myself. I actually did once it took me 4 hours and she had it a mess within 3 weeks. Cleaning sometimes makes ME feel better or if I am mad it releaves some of my anger. I like to be alone though when I am doing certain things...like putting on my make-up cleaning etc. I sound like a nut....but that is me and it sounds like we have to just accept that is a part of our personality. I talk to other women and they agree they are the same way ...then I say hey "you aren't a Virgo are you"? And they usually are..lol Sorry but there is nothing wrong with us just as there is nothing wrong with the messy,procrastinators etc.
2006-12-06 23:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by bowl_me_over_with_love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When one knows Actual Truth and understand their constitutional positon and relationship with God they do not need to have this mundane reassurance. They follow the laws of God and in their heart know the truth so they do not need the approval of others. This is a rare soul but can be achieved. Read Bhagavad Gita As it is By Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada
2006-12-06 23:08:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That seems to be a common passive trait-the need for approval-.You need to learn how to become assertive and know that you are o.k..Are there any life skills classes available in you area that would cover such things as communication skills, self esteem building, that sort of thing? if not maybe you could find something on the internet.
2006-12-07 01:36:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are religious or spiritual, then you need to learn to lean on the Lord and not others. People, just by nature of being people, have their own faults and skeletons and we do not have the right to judge anyone based on anything. That is only the Lord's job to do.
2006-12-06 23:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work on your self-esteem, join a group if necessary to develop a better sense of worth. Mental Health Clinics sometimes offer free workshops & NO..you don't have to be mentally ill to go.
If it's really bad, you may want to consider a therapist.
2006-12-06 23:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by Ivyvine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Approve of yourself.
2006-12-06 23:01:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋