At the store today, he yelled at me for placing his bag of chips from the shopping cart elsewhere to make room for a few of my frozen dinners. Then tried to act calm saying he just didn't want the chips to be crushed. I said he was the one who THREW them in the cart to begin with.
I tell him "I love you" and he sometimes says "Sure" or "No you don't" without a response back.
He wouldn't let his sister get $0.67 sprinkles when he's piling up on a lot of fatty food. He tried justifying it that it wasn't only for him.
He playfully calls me a ho a lot and told him I didn't like it. I didn't smile either. He just said he's always called me one.
He kept griping at me for taking 10-15 minutes to get ready to eat lunch with him when he called me last minute.
He says stuff like, "Don't make me hit you."
He's been saying, "**** you" a lot.
At the end of the day, he acted like he was sorry, but he never SAID it...
He's really a good guy. That's why I'm confused...
2006-12-06 14:16:21 · 22 answers · asked by Wendi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's always been there for me... supported me in my decisions... wiped my tears away... holds me when I need to be held.... etc. He encourages me to do well in all that I do.
It's just the other things that he does.... the "verbal abuse" is what's confusing me.
2006-12-06 14:21:48 · update #1
sounds like he's got some underlying problems and he's taking out his anger on you. he probably feels like it's ok to yell at you because he knows that you'll forgive him unlike other people. you need to let him know that it's really hurting you and that you can't take it any more. if he keeps it up, get out of the relationship before it gets worse.
2006-12-06 14:21:30 · answer #1 · answered by Hippie Chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy if that's not abuse then what is. You dint see that this is where it starts, pretty soon he will be hitting you. He does it because you allowing him to continue doing it, tell him to quit it or leave because you don't need that type of a relationship. I mean if you tell someone that you love them the other person should respond the same not in the manner that he is. It seems like he has a lot of anger and resentment built up, try talking to him, but what ever if he hits you even once just leave don't let him say I am sorry baby I will never do it again, because once he can do it and you stay he will do it again, GOod Luck
2006-12-06 22:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by Shanana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may think he's a good guy, but from what you tell me, he's a bad guy or a good guy w/bad habits. No man should call any woman out her name. And, if he doesn't say he loves you back, and you take that, he'll continue to do it. Trust me, I know...
Fast forward several years: If you have kids together, and they hear daddy calling mommy a ho, then guess what will happen? Dysfunctional family. Your daughter will have self esteem issues, and your son will grow up calling women hos too. You don't want to start that wheel, because it goes downhill.
And, I agree with the other comments, he may get physical. He needs to get straight what his issues are (sounds like he has self esteem issues) and figure out how to get help for himself.
Don't retaliate. Just get busy. And let him figure out if he wants to change or not. If not, then you're better off without him. I don't know you but I do know that no woman is worth being called out her name even once.
2006-12-06 22:23:27 · answer #3 · answered by HeavenlyBoheme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from what you've written, i'm sorry to say, but nothing that you've said showed or told us how you can say he's a really good guy. to answer your question, yes your guy is verbally abusive and again i'm sorry, but he sounds like an a$$. if you were my friend, and you seem like a pretty decent person even if i don't know you, i'd ask you to consider to question your reasons for staying with the guy.
if you tell him that you don't like how he treats you, and he doesn't really apologizes for it, then he's probably not gonna change, or he probably doesn't love you enough to change. love means, not wanting to hurt them. that you'd rather hurt yourself first before hurting them.
you can't really fall inlove with somebody unless you love yourself first. and staying with him after all he's done or still doing, shows you don't have that much love for yourself. have you thought about the fact that, staying in this relationship, where he doesn't show respect for you, eventually, you're gonna lose your respect for yourself as well, and nobody is ever gonna be worth that much.
2006-12-06 22:28:31 · answer #4 · answered by erise1013 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are being verbally abused and he's already giving you warnings that eventually he's going to start hitting you. Get out of the relationship now! Acting like one is sorry and truly being sorry are two different things. You will find someone else, no one deserves to be talked to like that.
2006-12-06 22:21:33 · answer #5 · answered by Ruth B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is not a good guy, if he were then he wouldnt be verbally abusing you and threatening to hit you, just because he does a "few" so called nice things doesnt make up for all the other mistreatment that he does to you, get out while you can before things get worse and turn physical, you deserve to be treated with respect and valued by someone who knows that you are a good person not someone who is trying to belittle you by their mean comments and threatens to physically harm you, good luck...
2006-12-06 22:39:49 · answer #6 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not a good guy at all. It sounds like you guys barely get any romance out of this and you need to confront him as a woman who deserves better. When he says stuff to you just say a few things back to him. And threaten him with leaving, and a few other things.
2006-12-06 22:21:37 · answer #7 · answered by tweetyzluv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was there for 5 and half yrs. and all I got out of it was my health going down hill. put on weight or lost alot. could not sleep,eat or really be around anyone because I was never happy. Did'nt want anyone to see how he was making me feel. Then one day it just got better. he started hiting me, it was once then became 2,3,4 time and on and on.
found out it was not me just him, playing around with other woman. but i kept saying no he would not do that to me , he love's me to much. bouy was i wrong.
i'm sorry if this does not help you. but i am w/ a different man now that i have been w/ now 14 yrs.
2006-12-06 22:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by mearea3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a real ZERO to me. Cut your losses for wasting as much time as you have with this loser and move on. The fact that you are even asking some of these questions, point out that you do know in your heart he's just a big dull dud.
2006-12-06 22:20:22 · answer #9 · answered by Curious_One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he's not a good guy --- you just wish he were. Geez is this idiot your brother, bf, or what???? This guy's a baby, and you know it....No really nice guy would call anyone a ho, nor say don't make me hit you, or f(l)luck you either, hon. Is this guy your husband? Oh, god, I hope not, for your sake... He's a control freak, insecure. no, sorry, sweetie, this is no nice guy, trust me. And read some of these questions on this site........Questions asked by women who married guys like this.
2006-12-06 22:23:32 · answer #10 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋