Forgive my deplorable sentence structure...
2006-12-06 13:50:48 · 43 answers · asked by Diesel Weasel 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Awww, you need not any forgiveness!
Well, anyway, I did. And a dozen times too. Perhaps it's stupid. Well it IS stupid. But if it not serious like accusing you of stealing something. If it is like that, then I'll apologize and pass. It has always been like that.
I think I bear through them because :
1. If you apologize, everything will return to normal quickly and we all can get on with quiet lives.
2. Although maybe I feel very bad and upset, only God knows whether you are right or not.
3. One day, anyway, the truth will come out. It's a natural law.
Yeah, somehow, for those mistaked apologizers, this is for you:
If you reaallly weaallly can't stand the pressure, GO RELIEVE YOURSELF BY DOING SOMETHING YOU LIKE. THe appropriate ones, of course. I know how bad it feels to apologize for something you didn't commit. I've just been through it so many, many times. And hey, belief in God helps too!
2006-12-06 13:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by Cherant 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The key to your important question I suggest is the difference between 'shame' and 'guilt'.
Guilt is a failure by otherwise self-responsible minds--people who could and should have done something. Shame is what tribal types feel--a depression that happens due to recognizing that they've utterly failed to do something or done something terrible --which they then sublimate or just forget about. Guilt only works on adult self-responsibles.
So, one apologizes for "guilt" for two reasons--because you didn't do what you should have; and as in the case you bring up--just to acknowledge that someone else is messing up your life, bringing it to a screeching halt just to lay a guilt trip on you or because they really think you did something you shouldn't have done or didn't do something you should have...
In either case, the best course is to say, "Sorry about that".
In the first type of apology, it gets someone without a turn-off switch off your case.
In the second type, it's better than trying to convince someone they're wrong and prolonging the argument.
The less serious the "offense" you didn't do, the more important it is to lay it to rest. With the more serious offenses you're accused of, it may be necessary to defend yourself some other way.
In my case, I've learned to agree with the accusation and get on with my important life. I'm old enough that I pick my battles very carefully.
2006-12-06 14:03:30 · answer #2 · answered by Robert David M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course. I think you have to at times, because peace and maintaining relationships is more important than protecting your pride.
I have to say too, that usually when I've done that, the person demanding the apology knew deep down I really didn't owe them one, but the fact that I would put my pride aside and apologize to them FOR them, really made the relationship stronger.
(I do think though that if you apologize to a person over and over and over for things you didn't do because you fear how they will make your life hell if you don't....well that is different. They are abusing you and you need to get away and stay away from such a person for good.)
BTW - your sentence structure, however incorrect, is quite refreshing.
2006-12-06 13:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by Mac 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Sometimes in that confusing thing called love we all know nothing about, you just have to apologize to get the other half to shut up for a bit.
2006-12-06 13:53:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All the time
2006-12-06 13:58:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!!!!!!!
There is this guy I have to work with. And in order for me to keep the peace b/w us, I apologize for crap I didn't do just because he's got a God complex who thinks he's never wrong.
I got fed up with his tude so I stopped apologizing for **** I was not guilty of and now he hasn't spoken to me in 3 months; which is fine by me cuz now I'm stress free of him.
2006-12-06 13:54:57 · answer #6 · answered by Aries 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, story of my life. I've also been accused of many things I wasn't guilty of, so that might explain the reason I seem to apologize often.
2006-12-06 17:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anashuya 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Everyday at work. Somehow my boss thinks I'm the only one who works there that makes mistakes and does wrong. I don't understand but I play along anyways.
2006-12-06 13:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by asheslovesjoel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just recenlty I apologised to my racist teacher who was doing everything she could to make me miss classes that were important so that I could fail. I even asked the college administration to help me but they advised me to apologise in a way that I am not saying shes right. I apologised and it didnt feel right. 3 arabs got kicked out in a row for "disrupting" the class... The thing is people didnt even notice we were even talking. We didnt make funny jokes and talk out loud and stuff... anyways yeh it doesnt feel good but if you benefit somehow from it, go for it... I wouldve failed my course if i hadnt apologised!
2006-12-06 13:55:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's hard. I wanted a good relationship with my oldest daughter and sometimes when we were mad at eachother I would suck it up and apologize when she was clearly being selfish. That's what you do sometimes when you love someone.
2006-12-06 13:53:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋