Research paper?

Question

I feel like my introductory paragraph is wrong. What are some improvements to make to flow/sound better?

Who nearly starved to death about 160 years ago? Who traveled deep into the wintry mountains only to be trapped by its stiff arm? Who, according to author C.F. McGlashan, “contributed the truth; truth that was sufficiently terrible”? To these questions there is but one answer: The Donner Party. From traveling west to find fortune and expansion, these pioneers used their will and brains to survive the journey. Despite the rumors of cannibalism and cruelness, the Donner Party remains one of the most well known groups of pioneers who were resourceful and brave.

Answer 1

Even though your intro is different, and not in a terrible way, I didn't like the questions at the beginning, either. I hope this helps!

Traveling deep into the wintry mountains only to be trapped by its stiff arm, the Donner Party nearly starved to death 160 years ago on their way westward. Why did they go? To find fortune and expansion. Despite the rumors of cannibalism and CRUELTY (not cruelness), the Donner Party displayed a tremendous will to survive. Resourceful and brave, they remain one of the most well-known groups of pioneers.

Answer 2

I don't like questions at the start of a paper in that way but i think it's just i'm used to formal, stuffy, science writing :)

I do think the sentence "From travelling west to find fortune....." doesn't work cos starting with "from" usually leads to a statement of "to something". "From travelling,.....to using will and brains to survive the journey" - btut i don't know if that's what you're trying to convey

that's my 2 cents and although i'm at post-grad level i claim no strong expertise but hope you get some good suggestions on here

Answer 3

I think it sounds great. I like the way you started off with the questions. You picked a really cool subject to work with. You're gonna do fine.