To the women do you get married if your husband has a calendar of sexy woman?

Question

I dont know what is wrong with me I am pretty easy to get along with but I think my husband is trying to push my buttons or there is something wrong with me. He brought home a calendar with these hot girls on it for his car and i didnt know it until my 4 year old son told me he was looking at it. I dont understand why it bothers me so bad I think I do have some insecurities and dont feel good enough still but its hard to feel better about myself when I feel like I am not good enough still. Do any of you married woman have a problem with this or am I just making something small into something huge. I just feel like i am always competing with what my husband sees I know he loves me if he knows this stupid stuff bothers me why does he do it to begin with I mean i am not going to get a divorce over this you see this is what i consider to be one of my stupid little arguments. What is wrong with me? I dont know whats happened to me why this bothers me but it does.

I just dont get it I thought when you marry this kind of stuff porn looking at girls ends. When we were dating he made me get rid of any pictures I had od ex's,magazines with guys etc. I just feel like I am always competing with what he sees and he is always doing something to remind me that he is into these kind of girls. I am not jealous I just dont get it. I dont do stuff like this to all of you this is stupid I know but i cant get over it. He is married no he is not blind and i understand that but i dont do stuff like this look at porn on tv,mag,comp,or i dont do anything that involves men besides him. I just want to feel like I am his everything I know he loves me but I dont know why this stuff bothers me so bad. If it were me I would be a slut.

These things are what makes me want to have surgery done I want him to look at me the same way. I am a role model for our 5 year old daughter and this stuff bothers me and she knows because she hears me and her dad talk about it and i dont want her growing up thinking you have to be a model to be loved what kind of model is my husband to our son I am afraid that he will only want a woman based on looks alone. I get men looking at me not to brag I dont dress sexy or anything I am me a wife and mother why cant my husband help make me feel like the women he sees if he did this wouldnt bother me at all unless he cheated on me with one.

My ? doesnt make since this is what i meant to type do you married women get mad if your husband has a calendar of women sorry for the mess up

Answer 1

it is ok to feel like you arent good enough. surely if you have insecurities about yourself, you are going to take this much more personal than it really is. there is nothing wrong with you or your husband. i know married men that are happy with their wife and life, yet they still have a calendar of women and other things. just cause he has that, does not mean he doesnt love you. it is like kinda porno to men. they like looking at it and it lets their mind imaginate. women dont have that urge as much as men do. i wouldnt say you are taking this too far, but we all have pet peives. this is just one of yours. we all have things about our spouse that we dont like. no one if perfect and shouldnt be, then they wouldnt be them with there little mistakes and all. i would take a step and ask your husband why he has a calendar in his car. or you can just let it go and not let it bother you. when you think ractional, it isnt a very big deal. i wouldnt be offended if my husband did that. if i was self concious, i might, but we all have to accept that no one is perfect. i hope i helped some how.

Answer 2

I completely understand why you're upset, and there isn't anything wrong with you! What worries me most about this situation is that your 4 year old son is aware of it. I don't think most people realize what it does to children when they are exposed to sexuality/pornography at a young age. My earliest memory is of when my mom would go out on a Saturday afternoon and leave my siblings and I alone with my dad for several hours. He spent most of that time looking at Victorias Secret catalogs, and it really bothered me. I remember making an effort when I was only 6-7 years old to be the first person to get the mail out of the mailbox, so that I could look through and find any of the catalogs and throw them away before I had to be subjected to my dad ogling mostly naked women in front of me. These memories have GREATLY affected my attitudes not only about sexuality, but also about being 'good enough' for others...because I knew from so young that my mom was not good enough looking for my dad.
Obviously at this point, I would not put up with my husband or boyfriend having a calendar with "sexy" women, because it is disrespectful, and if it upsets you, don't be silent about it! It will eat you up inside and you will become resentful of him for how he is making you feel. You should not have to compete to be the most attractive woman to your husband in your own home! Please, if you can't tell your husband how much it bothers you personally, then at least tell him that he shouldn't have it because it is inappropriate for your son to see.

Answer 3

Omg sweetie get over it, if that's the only thing your husband ever does that makes you feel bad then your doing pretty good! I look at it this way, If he is home looking at a calender instead out at some bar looking at women and flirting then your pretty lucky!

Its human nature, and unless you didnt want a man to look at other's then you should have found yourself a blind guy. I dont mean this to sound rude or ignorant, but just kind of blunt.

Edit to add.. Go get yourself your own little calender of hottie's in thongs.. See if he has the same reaction that you have. If he does, then talk about it and come to an understanding. If he doesn't then you can clearly see he means no harm by it.

Answer 4

I think it is extremely disrespectful to you. And the calendar is very inappropriate to have around children.

From what you said your husband seems like a controlling a rse. Your not allowed to have any pictures of other men, yet he can have whatever pictures he wants? And he doesn't even care that him having these pictures or how he views the pictures/other women has an effect on your self esteem. I mean a giant red light should have popped up when you started talking to him about surgery. As for surgery it can only fix whatever problem you have now temporarily. Since as of now there is no way to stop the aging process.

Answer 5

There is nothing like a cop's uniform, right? Wake up and live from today to the future. Stop thinking about Your hero in uniform from the past. If You were really any good for him years ago, he would not get married to other woman. So stop romanticize Your wishful fantasies. In reality You are wasting lot of good time You could have with someone else. Can't You simply say to Yourself 'enough!' and start to live more meaningful life toward real relationship? Yes, I do think about Your autistic child, too.

Answer 6

I'm so tired of people saying that it's no big thing and to get over it! This topic has been an ongoing thing in my marriage for years! At this point, I am only staying in the marriage for my child. My husband knew when we married that I STRONGLY disagree with men looking at naked women. He knew that my first husband had skipped out on me and his child to go "play" with a younger woman, which left me with very low self esteem. My husband kept the fact that he does look at naked women hidden from me for years. I then discovered his stash of naked women pictures. He assured me he would NEVER do this again!! Well, a little while later I discovered he was still doing this. It makes me ask myself all the time, what is so wrong with me that MY husband has to go elsewhere to look at a "pretty woman". It got to the point to where I did not care what I looked like, it didn't matter, my husband would still prefer to look at the pretty naked women. Unless someone has experienced this situation first hand they should not make light of it and say, oh just get over it. This can really go deep and scar someone for life.

Answer 7

it is a calendar get over it... between paying bills working raising my kids i dont have time to go look and see what kind of calendar my husband has.. and dont care to i know he is MY husband and he loves me and at the end of each and everyday it is me he is in bed with... he is human i am a woman and have been married for almost 20 yrs i bought my husband a girly calendar before.. and guess what i also look at men but it doesnt mean that we dont love each other or that we want someone else its just life....go ahead and give me the thumbs down women but guess what there is a reason i have been married for 20 yrs it cause i love and trust my man and there is way more important issues in our lives then being a petty nagging wife

Answer 8

I've always been of the opinion that there may come a day when I am not interested in a woman's form. Guess what, my wife is a woman too. Chances are when that day comes she's probably out of my interest as well.
Guys are hard wired to enjoy naked women. That he stays with you is a testament to your qualities. Go with that and forget about the rest.

Answer 9

Looking is fine. Just don't touch.

We in the US blow nudity waaaaaay out of proportion and make it a problem when it should not be.

Overseas nudity is everywhere and it is a normal thing. It is so normal there that they are completely naked and the locals guys think nothing of it.
But we American men that have been starved from it and have our eyes popping out and get our tongues sunburned.

Our society says it is bad when it should be beautiful!!!!!!!

Answer 10

maybe it just bothers u becasue your 4 year old son seen it... that would definatly bother me... however i couldnt care if my husband/ boyfriend had a calendar with gorgeuse women on it because i know he wouldnt have a chance in hell with them... i give my boyfriend plenty of space...he can look but if he touches than something would b done to him and her if she knew bout him and i!!!!
I dnt think u have anything to wry about good luck... and best wishes.