This Journey
Take my hand,
I'll take yours.
Let's take the open road,
Drive wherever we feel like going.
And I'll cry just cause I have the tears,
I'm tired of laughing let's get serious for a bit.
I'll miss home,
But I wouldn't trade this journey for the world.
Take my hand and I'll take yours,
Don't tell me to stop,
Or to turn around,
I want this journey.
The signs aren't there,
Let's just take the journey.
I want to dance,
Because we have the chance.
Let's go, let's just drive.
I just want you to know,
I care.
So let's go, hand in hand.
We'll cry cause we have the tears,
We'll dance because there's music.
I want to write my own story,
On this wonderful journey of ours.
Sure, it's spontaneous,
But sometimes what we need is unplanned.
I want to go,
So let's just leave.
The road is ahead; let's go on this journey.
I'll miss home,
But I've had home all my life.
So let's go!
Take my hand and I'll take yours,
We'll smile cause we're out of tears,
We'll take pictures to remember,
This life filled journey of ours.
Let's begin, hand in hand,
I'll show you the way,
As long as you show me.
Let's live life just cause we can.
2006-12-06 11:57:06 · 6 answers · asked by ~S~ is for Stephanie! 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I suppose it depends on the perspective you are telling it.
For younger audience (i.e. 12-17): It's cute and people can relate to it at that age.
For an older audience (i.e. 18+): It can sound amateurish.
But, still, it has potential.
2006-12-06 12:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by hannahbash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it isn't very good. It's pretty shallow and it repeats itself a LOT. The author could easily cut the poem down to about 15 lines and still get the same message across. As it is, it comes across as wordy, cliche, and repetitive.
2006-12-06 21:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by Jason 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's fairly good, but i think that you should use some synonyms to make it sound a little more sophisticated. Keep at it though, you have potential.
God Bless!!
2006-12-06 20:18:57 · answer #3 · answered by didthegrasssing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a little repetitive but I think it is good.
2006-12-07 13:00:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i relly like it
but try not repeting yourself so much, other than that its realy great, and i want to break away from my life to
2006-12-06 20:09:59 · answer #5 · answered by rock_angel_kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite good, really. I see no problem with it.
2006-12-06 20:07:13 · answer #6 · answered by Lord Sesshomaru 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋