what if
one day i was thinking
what if today wasn't today
what if tommoro wasn't tommoro
what if the rain wasn't rain
what if this was big news
what would you think
what would you do
what if a banana wasn't a banana
what if a train wasn't a train
what if red meant go
and green ment slow
would the world stop turning
would it stay on today
boy, isnt my mind a wonderful place
but im glad todays today
to bad i cant say the same for the rain
P.S. hop you liked it
2006-12-06 11:29:23 · 11 answers · asked by rock_angel_kay 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
REVISHON
what if
one day i was thinking
what if today wasn't today
what if tomorrw wasn't tomorrow
what if the rain wasn't rain
what if this was big news
what would you think
what would you do
what if a banana wasn't a banana
what if a train wasn't a train
what if red meant go
and green ment slow
would the world stop turning
would it stay on today
2006-12-06 11:55:40 · update #1
Its ok i like the first version better.
2006-12-08 19:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a nice poem there if you just delete the last three lines (and spell it tomorrow). The reason the last three lines dont work is that the first part says that already, you can feel your emotion without a summary. "Would it stay on today" is a great last line. It can be read on many different levels, different meanings.I kinda like it!
2006-12-06 19:46:41 · answer #2 · answered by info_thick 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Rock Angel Kay
was rhyming today
hoping for changes
amid her exchanges,
of to be being not
wanted or hot
'cause rain isn't rain
in her phenomenal brain!
we're thankful she shared,
and though humanly erred,
we commented gently
so she'd rewrite intently.
because we hope plainly
she'll take it humanely
and know it won't wreck her
to use a spell checker!
LSR.
2006-12-07 00:04:33 · answer #3 · answered by Longshiren 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some good, some bad. You begin to create a vision, but then create new ones instead of just one thought, so it becomes the same question.
2006-12-06 19:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by gardengirl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Spelling needs a tad bit of help. and um, it's kinda dull.
I mean woop-di-doo what if things weren't what they were. It seems people have been questioning reality forever.
2006-12-06 19:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by sound78932 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Cute. I'm hop hop hopping about it.
2006-12-06 20:20:48 · answer #6 · answered by babydoll 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was good times.
2006-12-06 19:32:19 · answer #7 · answered by shmux 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i like it its really cool
2006-12-06 19:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by barney 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it should be "tomorrow"
"tOO bad..."
and "hopE" you liked it.
2006-12-06 19:34:29 · answer #9 · answered by WiseWisher 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
long and annoying.
2006-12-06 19:31:53 · answer #10 · answered by [blahh] ™ 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋