Why do some people think that a man should be the 'head' of a household?

Question

Why don't you believe in equal partnership? ( And I don't want any of that - my husband is the 'head of the household' and I submit to him - but we share equal authority in our relationship.... it's inherently impossible, people!) Why do you want someone else to have authority over you/to have authority over someone else? Is it a religious thing: if so, what religion? Anyone with me in believing that a couple who comes together unequally is only going to suffer from resentment and contempt in the long run? It's not the right lifestyle for me - needless to say - but I'm curious about some of your motives for rendering yourself authoritatively superior/inferior to another person....

Answer 1

We live in a patriarchical society and it takes time to change the preconcieved notions we all have.

I am the head of my own house hold, when people try and say otherwise, like businesses, I take my business elsewhere. As for family members, I don't let it phase me. I am equal to everyone and I will be treated as such. If people have an issue with it, they learn after they are ignored or stuffed with sarcasm and brow beating until they fall into line.

Answer 2

Just because he is the head of the household, does not mean that he is a jerk. I believe that men and women have different roles in the home. The roles are equally as important, but they are different. The husband has the role of protecter and provider, the wife has the role to keep the house and nurture. They are both very important roles. There is nothing demeaning about it. You both work together in making decisions. You both work out the budget together, even if the wife works out of the home. It can be an equal partnership, but if you are familliar with how most business partnerships work, each partner plays a different, but vitally important role. That is how you make sure that everything gets taken care of.

I don't need a man in my life to take care of me. But when I find me a real man who wants to and has the ability to, I wil let him.

A man who rules over the house and makes all the decisions and makes his wife submit and do what he says is a total jerk.

Answer 3

LOL I think you're over-reacting here. I don't believe most people sit down and divvy up the "titles" in the family. "OK, you can be the head of the household, but then I will be the VP of family affairs..." etc. A normal healthy marriage IS a partnership, a give-and-take. It's a skill on the part of both people to recognize when to submit and when to speak up. I leave a lot of decisions up to my husband - financial management, home improvements, car maintenance. If this can be said to make him "head of the household" - then so be it; these are things he's much better at than I, and I "submit" to his judgement and authority in these matters. My title is "social director" - I interface with friends and family, make plans, plan trips, come up with fun things to do. Here, I am in the lead, and he always consults me before making any plans - "would it be ok if John and I went out to dinner on the night of the 16th - we don't have anything on the calendar for that day, do we?"

In real life, things are rarely black and white. It all depends.

Answer 4

Cristy, any realtionship begins with the relationship you have with yourself. If you honor youself, then others will honor you. If you're in a relationship like marriage and there arises a "conflice" over "head of the household", look at what is underlying the conflict. Usually it's one of the parties who feels threatened and is trying to assert him/herself to reapond to the threat. If you and a buddy travel together you usually wind up sharing responsibilities according to your relative skills. You do the driving, your buddy does the cooking, or whatever. You balance the checkbooks and pay bills, he earns the major share of the money. Jobs, duties can be apportioned and negotiated. There is no "head" in a partnership, only a sharing. It is not about who is right or who wins, it is about working together...and always remembering (at least trying to remember) that you each have much to contribute. A realtionship is not about one bieing the "head" but about both parties contributing theyr maximum and providing each other with loving support. Always.

Answer 5

Some like it. Some don't. It is a bit silly to come on and ask a question in which you dictate how it should be answered. Are you sure you believe one thing or the other or are you trying to convince yourself?
It says in the BIBLE(which is a good read and I do suggest it) that women are to be submissive to their husbands and that husbands are to HONOR their wives. Personally, I like an equal partnership. There are certain matters in which I will have the final say. But, on ALL matters, we discuss the issues completely before reaching that point. You might want to look that up in the BIBLE and re-evaluate what you have stated in your "question". I do wish you the best of luck and hope you are ultimately happy!!!

Answer 6

I believe that everything is equal between my wife and I. I don't want control over someone else. Then again, I'm not so insecure that I need it to make me feel good about myself.

Society as we know it today has grown-up from patriarchical ancestors. Much of it from Western religion, but mostly from insecure men. Men being insecure about women's empowerment. Hence, the Witch. The witch is a man's projection of his worst fears of women.

My wife and I are Wiccan, and our belief is in a Goddess and God, both of whom are equal and one can not exist without the other.

I know it's not a popular stance from the patriarchical Christian male perspective, but we have a very happy relationship.

Answer 7

Well I am a bloke and I do not see myself as the head of the household. That is an old fashioned thing that belongs in the past. My wife and I do everything together and make decisions together. She found that a bit strange at first as she is from the Philippines and in her previous marriage she had no rights and had to do as her husband said. (He is deceased). However after a short period of adjustment she has atlast got used tothe idea ofequality. However she sometimes lapses and says I am hungry please can I eat? That is what she was used to have to do before and is appalling. I just tell her she does not have to ask me forpermission todo anything like that and just to get on with it.

Answer 8

There is a saying, that if the man is the head, the woman is the neck meaning that she can turn the head in any direction. In every relationship there is someone dominate and someone recessive so there is no relation where both of them are exactly the same. Two dominants would fight for power too much and the relationship would not hold. Besides, from my experiences, I have noticed households with the men as the head tend to work out better.

Answer 9

The Bible instructs women to submit to their husband in all things so long as he is not asking her to do anything that does not glorify God, but it also instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. (unconditionally, respectfully, treating them well, etc.) If a man is a Christian head of the household he does not make his wife a doormat and ignore her view points.... He considers her opinion equally and fairly and just has the ultimate "head of house" role. Do we see this oftne these days? No. Society has changed the way so many of us think of marriage now-- gay marriage, so much divorce, women's rights, etc. I absolutely believe that women have rights. To be different and have unique roles does not mean to be less. Men are spiritually instructed to be the head of the household and lead their wives and children into growing in Christ, and that's the main meaning behind head of house. make sense? It's not an inferior thing.... it's just that men and women ARE different despite what the world likes ot make it out to be in 2006, and we have different roles.

Answer 10

We are equal as human beings, but that doesn't mean we're not allowed to be different. Men are the head, but women are the neck that turns the head. We women have all the power, but sadly, so few know how to use it (being a B**ch isn't using it).
I allow my husband to be the head of the household because I don't want that responsibility- he does.
Why would I be resentful? He treats me like his queen. He's not superior- running his end of the house/marriage is his job, and I have my job/role. It's the most relaxing, stress-free way to be married. Equal, yet different.

Answer 11

I've read the Bible cover to cover. I've seen where it says a wife should be submissive and where it says a man should treat his wife like a cherished part of himself. If everyman treated his wife as if he cherished the ground she walked on, she'd be ever so willing to submit. But, alas, the Bible can be misinterpreted, and has been. Many faiths read it the way THEY interpret it. So many translations, so many languages....well, there are lots of interpretations. I've been married over 35 years in a Christian marriage. I don't submit and he's not bossy. We make major decisions together, I am in charge of our home and social calendar (because he doesn't want to be bothered) and he is in charge of the finances and bills (because he's an accountant), but we share with each other the day to day decisions we are making because we love each other.