Six weeks term paper....I will do a great favor for anyone who helps.Please, Please just make up your own version of the story The Night Before Christmas.It is for my english essay.Thank you so much!
2006-12-06 10:38:50 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Mythology & Folklore
ITs like a little story.We can get a story from online ...
2006-12-06 10:45:27 · update #1
lol that is a funny story , but i think my teacher would flip lol.
2006-12-06 10:49:58 · update #2
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through my house
I tiptoed in secret, just like a louse.
Past the stockings I snuck, toward the bathroom, my lair,
in hopes that St. Nicholas would not be squatting in there!
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of flatulence danced in my head.
And me in my 'kerchief, and removing my cap,
had now settled down for a long winter's crap.
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the throne to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
even though a twelve-inch stinker dangled from my ash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
illuminated my throne room, which really made me go,
when, what to my wondering eyes should emerge,
but a gigantic turd, and a tiny fart splurge.
With a little old stink, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, their courses they came,
and he grunted and wiggled, and called them by name:
"Now Pooper! Now Dooper!
Now, Shitter and Vixen!
On, Crapper! On, Pudding!
On, Logger and Shitzen!
To the top of the toilet!
To the top of the wall!
Now flush away! flush away!
Flush away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
I wiped my *** with them so briskly, it near made me cry,
so up to the house-top the deposit, it grew,
with the toilet full of chocolate pudding, and tootsie rolls, too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each little poop.
As I drew in my head, and turned with a start,
down the chimney St. Nicholas came, with a big, loud fart.
He was dressed all in fur, from his toes to his crown,
and his clothes were all soiled with ashes and brown.
A bundle of **** he had flung on his back,
and his butt cheeks were ready to burst from his crack.
His eyes -- how they scrunched! His dimples, how red!
His cheeks were like roses, his anus, it bled!
His straining little mouth was drawn up like a loop,
and the beard on his chin was covered with poop!
The stump of a dumped pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the stench of it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a little 'ole face and a little round belly,
that shook when he farted, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a frequently constipated old elf,
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his ***
soon let me to know there was nothing left but gas.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and emptied his bowels, then turned with a jerk.
After filling the shitter and pinching his nose,
he gave a quick nod, and up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, and to his team let loose a fart,
And away they all flew like shoppers at Wal-Mart.
But I heard him exclaim, somewhat like a grump,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good dump!"
2006-12-06 10:45:28 · answer #1 · answered by donttalkjustplay05 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A raffish version of The evening in the past Christmas Twas the evening in the past Christmas and all in the process the domicile no longer a creature replaced into stirring apart from the mouse He nibbled on the cheddar cheese till at last his starvation pangs have been set comfy With reckless abandon he wandered around till at last the party booze he ultimately discovered whilst under the effect of alcohol he slugged the family cat the pussycat's swat knocked him flat Then with many a plaintive squeal he grew to develop into that cat's Christmas meal i comprehend it quite isn't any longer what you predicted. I wrote it quite some years in the past. i think of it quite is almost neat. Merry Christmas and God Bless you and yours.
2016-10-17 22:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by janovich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Do your own homework. It is good for the soul.
2006-12-06 10:41:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
how can you learn if we do your homework for you...
2006-12-06 10:46:08 · answer #4 · answered by Connie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋