Why is my husband so mean?

Question

Just because I went to my AVON Christmas party he got really mad at me and stop talking to me and took my cell phone away and just making me feel gulty and making me feel so bad that I'm think of leaving him, because he always wants for me to do or say what he wants not what I want or makes me feel alive. What should I do? Help me Please!! I don't have nobody to talk to.

Answer 1

You should leave him and start living your own life!

Answer 2

Sounds like he is a control freak. What right has he got to take your phone away from you??? He has a bad case of jealousy also. What bloke in his right mind wants to go to an Avon Xmas party???? It will be all women talking about womens things how boring for a bloke.

His behaviour is appalling and you should not have to put up with it. You are entitled to go out with your own friends and I bet your husband does. Not talking to you also is the sign of childishness and he should learn to grow up..

In a marriage you are supposed to decide together what you will or won't do. Is he an only child used to getting his own with with his mummy???? It is about what you both want to do and not just him. I presume this is not an isoltaed incident and the last of one of many that has made you unhappy.

Start telling him that you are an equal in the marriage and you want to make joint decisions and you want to go out with your friends just as he goes out with his.

Tell him how bad you feel and that you are thinking of leaving him and see how he reacts to that. Do not leave the house as you are entitled to half of it and if you have children even more. If he does not respond in a positive way then go see a solicitor and see where you stand.

There are a lot of family frictions that come to a head at this time of year but see where you stand legally before youdoanything but it seems likehe has an attitude problem to sort out and if he can't do that thenyou may have to call time on the marriage.

Hope that helps you a bit. I realise I sound like a women's libber but just so that folks know I am a bloke!!!!! Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 3

Sounds like he's a control freak. He wants you to do what he wants, not what you might like to do or...... not like to do. With him it's a "I'm in charge mentality". Power is his thing, that old school, old country, "I'm the man of the house and I run things", and when you do something he didn't want you to do , he punishes you by not talking or taking away your phone.
How long have you been married? What is his age? Maybe it's a maturity issue. Maybe if he doesn't get his way he acts like a little kid and says to himself "I'll show her, I'm bigger and stronger, I'm going to run things, not her". Then he uses his power to get his way and in the process makes you feel like you did something wrong.
Which brings up a point. Did you spend too much at the party? Are you two on a budget ? How are things money-wise ? Was there an argument over the money? If there's a problem with spending perhaps some professional help with how to handle your income might help.
Something you have to think about, How long has this been going on? Since the beginning? Did this just start? If so, there's gotta be another reason....Maybe he's got another woman, Is he stressed about work, How about kids. Any kids in the mix?
Lots of things to think about. One of those things is, violence. If there is violence, GET OUT>>>>>NOW.
Otherwise, ask around at church, or work, get a recommendation about some professional help. If that doesn't help. Bail. 'Nuff said !

Answer 4

Did you tell him? If not, i think he at least deserves to know. I know what he is doing (take ur cell phone away, etc.) may make you frustrated and angry but it should not be the reason you guys separate. Don't give up and try to make your marriage work. Divorce is worst thing in the Eyes of God (Allah). Talk to your husband and hear him before judging his actions. Also, tell him how you feel and try to find a common ground both of you can agree on. A marraige is special thing....divorce is the worst! Too many divorces are taking place. Don't be amongst those who give up easily. Be strong and loving to your husband. You never know, with your effort, your husband might become closer to you and you might also increase the love in his heart for you!
I hope this advice helps!

Answer 5

It sounds like there may be more to the story than you are telling us, but that's okay. I would start by asking your husband why he was so upset that you went to the AVON party. Did he have something planned for that evening? Was he sad that you went to a party without him?

Depending on what he says, you need to come up with a plan to create guidelines and boundaries you can both be happy with. Perhaps he wouldn't mind if you went out as long as you were home by a certain time. If he had something planned, you can see if he wants to reschedule. Come up with a deal so that he feels like he gets his "quality" time in with you. Maybe you could agree that Friday night is always "date night" or something.

The key to resolving this issue is communicating with your husband and making sure you both understand each others' needs. In marriage, you have to make sure to always compromise and take the other person's feelings into account in everything you do.

Some ideas to establish better communication with your husband are to make sure you guys spend recreational time together. Remember when you were dating, and all the time you spent together was out having fun? It is easy to slip out of that habit once you get married, when finances and other stress can leak into your relationship. It is even harder when you have kids and the cost of child care is so high. I recommend that you SERIOUSLY invest in "fun time" with your husband so you guys can remember why you are so special to each other in the first place.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Some men (and women) are control freaks. And those that are typically can't even help it. My recommendation is communication. Unless he is physically abusive, the only way to get beyond this problem is to talk about it. Of course, counseling (both together and individually) can help, but it costs money that you may not have to spend. Talking is free. But, be open to listening to his issues that he has with you. Listening to him doesn't make him right, but it does make you a better spouse. And he should respect this too.

Answer 7

Wow why is he being so controlling? Don't feel guilty, he's just having a low self esteem moment.

Maybe he's afraid your going to meet another better man so he can't let you out of his sight. Or maybe he's been not so faithful himself and he's afraid of you doing the same thing.

I just can't believe he took your cell phone. So basically your punished? He's sounds a little Narcissistic if you ask me. Therapy might help other wise if he continues it may just get worse.

Answer 8

Hey thats domestic violence and you need to be fully aware that he is trying to control you and that is not good you need to stand up for yourself right away or get out of the relationship. DV (domestic violence) doesnt have to be just hitting. it can be emotional, financial. vutting you off from the world...he needs help and so do you RIGHT NOW!!!! before it gets worse trust me I know. I am a DV case, I slapped My girlfriend and I have to go to a DV group for my sentence from the court...that was a year ago and my last group is tommorow, but I am going to keep going cause its good for me..helps me communicate and I learn alot. your husband is an abuser and he either needs to fess up and own his actions as I did or hit the bricks. Ma'am i am telling you thins cause I was there on the abusers side and this is no joke you need to take care of this NOW!! not tommorow

Answer 9

Maria, did u inform him that u will be going to party...? ur man been working all day for the family..& when hes back home...u aint there to greet him maybe thats why hes hurt & acts the way u said...like a brat..wouldnt say mean...i think ur hubby aint getting enough of fun in his share & is a bit dowm & feel left out by all & most by u too...& if he expects u to listen to him always ...u get to brattish side too but do that fair & logically..tell him u want him to understand u too & that puttin restriction that he does hurts u too...think u diidnt tell him truely enough that u need ur space...& seems that he aint getting his either...start with having fun together..somewhere i thing ur hubby is all exhausted , frustrated & doesnt know how to comeout of it..(sure a man wouldnot spit that out that easy.)..or he finds none to tell or share his worries...get his confidence in u(show u do love him..chk on his insecurity time & again)...when he finds u understanding him he sure will understand ur needs...u both need to find time to communicate deep & true...thus eliminating these childish behaviour...of being jealous or putting on brattish commands...
its so v.easy to break but r u sure this way u wouldnt be breaking up all that didnt make sence to u...lifes never was easy(difference of opinion are part of living & learning...) not all can make sence of it..help urself & ur hubby to understand ,the least each others requirenments & worries...be a friend who he can turn to when he wants....& he will giv u urspace...am sure he doesnt want to ruin ur fun on purpose...its just that he aint getting any part in it..or in any other way....
the person that u need to talk to right now is ur husband.ask him & correct him...if he aint talkin or tring to understand..tell him how bout if u stopped talking to him that he hurts u so deep & leave it with that..giv him time..he sure will comeback & then try understanding each other...
best wishes...

Answer 10

Why? Because he wants the power of CONTROL. If he is doing things like taking away the cell phone, he is really into the idea. He wants to shape you. But, you will never be right in his eyes. And in your eyes you will only decline.

Please. Please. Get out. I did't. I ended up with broken teeth, a law suit from his crashing my car & 2 broken teeth. Ironically, I thought if I loved him & supported him enough, he would "get better." I don't know if he ever did. I do know that I am better now.

Answer 11

Maria, I was a jerk of a husband like yours until my precious wife passed away. Your husband knows he is an idiot, but wants to control you, so tell him I said to stop and take a lesson from someone who wishes he could start over and be a better husband, and I hope I get another chance someday!! Good luck