"We have been going out with my boyfriend about 6 years.. Everything was wonderful and I love him still.. but his family is a very religious family, the Catholic one.. and they do not want their son to be or marry to me. It was ok since I was pregnant. I am really young to have a baby so I had an abortion but it is forbidden for Catholics. We love each other and have a happy relationship but he needed to leave me because of his family. I do not know what to do.. I am really miserable and want him back, please help me !!!"
2006-12-06 10:14:25 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
am trying to heal myself, but i think it won't help :( just i need time..everything was wonderful with him so i feel myself really empty.. everywhere in my home i can see him,every single furniture reminds me of him. the door seems to be opened.. i can not understand, he just left.. he seemed to be staying when the problems first arised, i felt the support, the arms hugging me, but..
may be both of us are tired,i don't know.. i can not see the reasons anymore,it hurts me a lot..
for his family, having a baby out of marriage is forbidden and they gave the straight reactions according to their religion, i can understand.. and abortion was my choice.. i am not mature enough to have a baby.. it can happen to any person.. but after learning it,they became more angry i think :(
i don't know how much pressure he got, but things do not go on without him ..
2006-12-07 08:10:53 · update #1
If you're really serious about him, consider studying his religion and signing up to become a catholic. Ask him to SPONSOR you.
2006-12-06 10:23:40 · answer #1 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that he choose his family over you. He shouldn't have to choose them or you, but he did. I know you love him and you have been through 6 years together, honestly, I think you are better off going your seperate ways. If you do get back together, his family may never accept you. Believe me, if his family doesn't accept you, that will affect your relationship very dearly unless he doesn't stay in touch with them.
As for Michele comment, ignore what she says. Every woman has the right to an abortion. There is no need to bring your religion in unless a person ask for advice from a religious point of view. There is advice and trying to be helpful then there is criticism and being judgmental. It is best to ignore comments such as this especially when trying to cope with anything emotional.
I wish you the best of luck. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are and treat you with the respect and love you deserve.
2006-12-06 18:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by blushingivy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say I am against abortion but if you love him you just have to let go. If ever he still feels the same he will find you. So sorry to hear your pain and suffering there but for a guy who is as religious as his family should abide by all the rules for being a Catholic and that means no pre-marital sex. If the guy loves you he would fight for you with his family so if he didn't do those things for you maybe you should definitely consider on moving on.
2006-12-07 23:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by Macky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time he grew up and stopped being so immature.I was married to a Cayholic and they do have a strange way of looking at relationships including children out of wedlock. It is appalling you ended up having an abortion because of them but your boyfriend should have supported you.
He is a weak man and has chosen his family over you. No doubt they are trying to find him a nice catholic girl. If he loved you as much as you loved him he would not have gone back to your family.
I think you should get over him and find someone else. It is appalling that in the name of religion they force you to have an abortion. The catholic church is a farce. It does not want people to have children out of wedlock but turns its back to priests sleeping with men, women and boys.
We cannot help who we fall in love with but I do not think your boyfiriend will be back. Six years is a long time to go out with someone for him to then turn his back on you.
I feel so sorry for you but the ones at fault are your boyfriend and his family, not you. Go and find a nice boyfriend and build a life with them.
I am not catholic but I know where you are coming from and I am also a bloke.
2006-12-06 19:51:34 · answer #4 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he leaves you because of his family.. then do you think you should still try for him.. I am not saying that he should leave his family or that they are not important.. but their is always a mid way... or many times it has happened, that initially family is opposing but later on may be in some time thay understand.
It has to be both ways.. he should have found out some way, and if he went away leaving you, then I know my saying is very easy as compared to what u r feeling but still you should try to move on..
u have ur entire life ahead .... be wise.. good luck
2006-12-06 18:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by Manya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he must be very young too. Because usually catholic men don't care too much about all that stuff. They want what ever they want. Give it time. Grow up some and then maybe some where down the road, you two might meet again and start over.
2006-12-06 18:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find someone more compassionate, and understanding, if this is not a part of his religion he is not a true catholic anyway. This family sounds narrow minded and appears to view the world through blinders. Jesus would not have judged you as he and his family have. You will find someone special someday be patient.
2006-12-06 18:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all. Do you know want dating is all about? Dating is to see if this is the right one. In your case NO, Why? can you spend the next 30yrs with some one who always going to listen to his family. Because if you were to marry him your going to be unhappy. It's obviously his family comes first. He a wipe. All your going to do is complain. Like your doing now. And once your married you can't complain he's family going to much into your life. Because you marry him that's wants going to happen. There doing it now. They already did it. It doe's sound like you do love him but dear you need to look at the facts. read ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger
2006-12-06 18:29:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all y in the hell did u get an abortion...for one it is morally wrong for two it is so against Catholic beliefs...his family probably found out that u had an abortion that is why they dont want their son around u...u should of thought about the consiquences before u had that abortion.
2006-12-06 18:18:23 · answer #9 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay well this is a HUGE issuse...b/c its fam, love, and religion...u can kind of understand his situation I mean b/c family does come first and he prob. values their opinion alot...and yea Im sure he loves and values yours also...but in his situation where he has to choose...I would think that u would understand where he is coming from and at least just try and be there for him instead of make him choose like his inconsiderate family is...I know its hard but in this situation...it seems like thats all u can do b/c from the looks of it...he's already made his choice of what he has to do...and I guess the respect of his fam. and religion wins in this case!
Good Luck
2006-12-06 18:19:42 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋