Who's wrong or right ?

Question

I've been with my husband by common law for 7 years and have 2 boys. In the past years he did put me threw **** with his drug abuse and unable to have a stable job. When i found myself angry and frustrated i would throw the first punch and obviously he would come after me harder. And it happened about 7-10 times in these 7 yrs.
He would always say i was wrong by starting and i would say he was wrong by not walking away. So, who's wrong here?

Answer 1

Both of you. You both need anger management as well as other counseling to sort out your lives

Answer 2

It is unfortunate that your husband had a drug problem, but the bottom line is that you initiated the violence. By hitting him, you told him that it is okay to use violence to express anger and frustration. And as the old saying goes, "You started it."

Furthermore, you need to think about what you are teaching your two boys. If they witness you hitting your husband, they will think it's okay to use physical means to get their way or express their emotions.

It seems to me like you should all go to counseling - seriously. Your husband needs help dealing with his addiction and you need help dealing with your emotions over his addiction. The kids will probably need help as well, getting over having a deadbeat dad and a frustrated, violent mom.

There are a lot of resources for families that cannot afford counseling. I would start by googling "free counseling" or something like that in your area and GET HELP! If you allow things to keep going as they are, you are going to find that they will escalate and you will be in a world of pain.

Answer 3

Both of you. Men are not suppose to put their hands on women but a woman should show men the same respect. Punching him is not going to make him responsible.

Answer 4

First off, he's wrong for being a low life druggie. He needs to grow the f#ck up and take some responsibility for the children's sake. Secondly, he's wrong for hitting you. He needs to be the bigger person and walk away. By the way, don't hit him anymore, either.

Answer 5

Both wrong in my opinion, violence never solves a problem, does help get frustration out but hitting a chair would do the same and no one gets hurt.

Answer 6

both of you. violence is wrong, and when its coming from both directions- your both at fault. He should have been a man and walk away but you put your self in a position to fight by giving the first punch.

Answer 7

you are right for complaining about drug abuse or laziness, this world is so crappy with pay rates and to waste it on drugs when you have a "wife" and two boys to support is wrong.. i would say your wrong for going at him to fight and he's even wronger by acting out and going back at you.. he should act more like a man and talk to you about things and if anything he should just bear hug you until you calm down. theres no reason for two grown adults to be fighting... thats why god gave us voices, so we could talk things over..good luck and very best wishes!

Answer 8

Though I'm sure he deserved it, you were wrong because you threw the first punch. Even in the courts you would be found guilty because he can claim self defense.

Answer 9

You are. Why would you throw the first punch and then be surprised if he defends himself? You start with violence you get violence in return. He should have walked away but no way you should be punching him. You are lucky you are not in the hospital, cause you punch me I'm kicking your ***.

Answer 10

I hope by first punch you don't mean physical, although verbal abuse can be just as bad. It sound like you're both wrong and should maybe seek couples conseling.