Why do I do I hear so many of my married male friends say the are unhappy in their marriage but dont leave?

Question

I have plenty of male married guys who say they are miserable in their marrieages. Some have confided to me that they are no longer in love with their wives and most are having a series of one nite stands and a few are having serious affairs with women they "claim" to really be in love with.. All of these guys have children from these marriages..But yet they dont leave. As a woman with experience and who's also had female friends who have done it, if a woman is unhappy and no longer in love with the man she has children with she will leave the relationship. Why is it that so many supposed unhappy men stay in the marriage, cheat like crazy or have affairs and claim to be so unhappy but yet stay married??

Answer 1

I have a male co-worker that is like this. I asked him the same thing.

Wanna know what he said?:
"It's cheaper to keep 'er"

In other words, if they have lots of kids, they don't want to be paying child support and possibly alimony. Sick & sad, eh?

Answer 2

There are probably several correct answers to this question. Some men, do love their wives but won't admit it. It seems to be the male thing to complain about "life at home" be it family or sex life they are discussing. Marriage , the title of which , gives respectability to a person. Some companies will not hire single people. And there is always the children, husbands are attached to the children and don't want to lose them or be separated from them for any period of time. The finances enter into the equation as well. Having to pay alimony and have to rent and keep an apartment is just too costly to allow divorce become the question. Some even stay together because of the image portrayed by being divorced and how this looks to other family members. And then, some realize that they made a commitment before God and these witnesses, and realize a need to honor that contract.

Answer 3

Most people you ask whether they are married or not are happy people. And the truth is most men do walk away form a marriage and the women hang on cause financially speaking if the woman has the kids she will never be able to have as much earning power as a man. That being said - too many people don't have good marriages because they have a false expectation what real life is about and it takes hard work to have a successful relationship.
It sounds to me like you're going out with a married man and you cna't understand why he doesn't just ditch her for you - am I right?

Answer 4

I have been married for 25 years. When I grew up I can not remember of anyone whose parents were divorced. There were parents that stayed together because of the kids, the majority of married women did not work and not having a divorce could be a finical reason. Also society look down on people who were divorced. A marriage is hard work and will have its ups and downs. It takes commitment and work. Men have always cheated on their wives. Society has always look positively on men being sexually active and unfavorable on women (a man is a stud, while a women is a s--t, H--e, etc...) . I believe some reasons men cheat and remain married are There may be a thrill of being caught, they believe that their wives will always be there no matter what happens. That they would be finically ruined if the divorce. If they divorce their wife that their Mistress will want to get married and the cycle of cheating will begin again. Some men will say that they don't believe in divorce because of religious beliefs (But adultery is OK?). It is easier to stay married and have flings than get a divorce and you have to raise the kids (or lose them), Do the shopping,cooking and cleaning by yourself. The culture has changed I believed that 70% of marriages will end in divorce within the first 10 years. Our society has become more worried about the "I" than the we or us. Our current society wants to put blame on others (Its not my fault).

Answer 5

I think some men stay in their marriages because if they have kids, they won't get on child support...Some men really love their wives but are unhappy because men don't know how to sit their wives down and talk to them but when they cheat, they are telling this chick all about their marriage and why they are unhappy, but they won't say it to us....

Also, I think men don't want to leave because he has to start all over again...

I think most of the time the men say they are unhappy the women are too...Men always say that we nag them alot, but all a man have to do is just address what we asked and we will be happy, it is just that simple...

Answer 6

I think that 90% of them are full of crap. They are not unhappy at home. They just want to cheat and that line always works on the sorry women who willing cheat with a man knowing that he's married.

Marriage is alot of hard work even in the good times. If they were really unhappy they wouldn't hesitate to leave, pronto. Also, if they don't want to work through the tough times then they shouldn't ahve gotten married in the first place.

Answer 7

Because females have financial incentive to leave and males do not for the most part. Females also generally keep the kids. So many men simply cheat rather than leave. For many men if their wives simply met their husbands natural desires their husbands would not cheat.

Answer 8

Divorce is a hard thing to go through. In most cases it's easier to stay and attempt reconciliation rather then hire lawyers and go through the whole process.
Also there are still a few people out there who value marriage and believe in working it out no matter what the cost. :)

Answer 9

They are afraid. I think sometimes men like having affairs in till it spins out of control and then ends up missing his wife. I think that if he has kids he should talk to his wife about this and ask if she still loves him. The chances that she still loves him are very high. I think Becouse he has kids he needs to think about his family first and not the affair.

Answer 10

Well they made vows for life, and have children they love dearly,

plus they actually do love their wives , but have fallen out of love, and into someone elses bed,

and because they might feel guilty about it the have convinced themselves that its there obligation,

but i think its a cop out, and they want it all,

frankly sex has alot to do with it too,

Answer 11

Because men blame their problems on women. If the wife is fat, take her out for a walk after dinner every night. If the wife is in a bad mood, make love to her like you would a new girfriend. If you are bored, it is because you are boring. Do something interesting. You got old, too, you rknow? You are no Brad Pitt or Denzel yourself. Get your own life together. It is not the duty of the spouse.