i need some help..................................?

Question

I have a problem.......whenever my mom, dad, grandma, or any one in my family says anything to me lately i just get agrivated no matter what. I dont get why. I mean it never used to be like that. I mean i used to enjoy talking to my mom but now she just pisses me off. I mean i can talk to my friends for hours and it doesnt bother me but i get sooooooooooooo agrivated when i talk to my family. Any ideas on how to solve this?? i mean im getting in trouble because of it. Grounded for 10 days the first time ever!!!!

Answer 1

What you're feeling is a common, natural part of adolescence. You're in the last stage of childhood before becoming an adult, and your personality is striving to be an individual -- to find out who you are, not who your parents think you are. It's a natural and biological part of growing up. It doesn't mean you're bad or mentally ill for feeling this way, and in fact, feeling this way isn't something you have any control over.

What you DO have control over, however, is what you say and do when you feel this way. Believe it or not, it is possible to feel one way and act another. The ability to recognize this when it's happening and try to have some control over it will be a VERY valuable skill later in life -- it's a HUGE help when you're trying to accomplish something hard, at work or in a relationship.

So first of all, sit down with your parents, one at a time (so you don't feel ganged up on), when you're feeling calm and okay with yourself, and let them know that you understand you've been feeling this way and that you want to work on it. (They'll be relieved to hear that.) Then, let them know that you are aware it's causing problems and you'd like their help -- as much as you may think it'll burn your tongue to say it! -- in working through this.

Now, here's something they can do, as parents, to help you get through this hard time. First and foremost -- they need to tell themselves not to take it personally. That is, it isn't about them, it's something you're going through and you're likely to be this way no matter how perfectly they've raised you or how good a kid you've always been.

The next thing they can do is -- as hard as it seems at the time -- not to lash out at you when you get this way. (One of the articles in the Sources field says, "Respond, don't react.") That doesn't mean they have to sit there and take it, but there's a middle way between letting you bully them (sorry, but that's how it's going to come across to them) and getting into a screaming match with you.

What is this middle way? It'll vary from family to family, but they need to let you know -- as calmly as possible -- that they understand why you feel this way, but it's not acceptable for you to ACT like a bully.

Let me warn you: this is going to INFURIATE you the first two, or three, or ten times they do this -- precisely because they aren't responding when you're pushing their buttons. (And let's face it, that's exactly what you're doing -- psychologists call it testing limits or developing individuality, but you've had 13 or 15 or 17 years now to figure out what just exactly what it is that drives your parents the most nuts, and you're playing that like Yngwe Malmsteen doing a killer riff.)

The hardest thing for you to do is to catch yourself when you want, with all your heart, to push their buttons and remind yourself that you're better than a bully.

The hardest thing for your parents to do is not to let their buttons be pushed and turn into a bigger bully when you get this way.

You'll fail, from time to time. So will your parents. Which means the most important thing for ALL of you to do is to have compassion for each other. It's a rotten, uncomfortable, frightening, confusing time for you and your parents alike -- remember to cut each other some slack.

Be sure to have your parents read this, too -- it may help THEM to know that what you're doing is a normal part of adolescence. It's just like when you were a baby cutting new teeth -- only instead of teeth coming through your gums, it's your adult personality coming through your childhood.

And if they want to know whether it works... I have a 19-year-old and a 15-year-old daughter (and a ten-year-old son, but he's not there yet). I thought we were going to have to sell the 19-year-old to the monkey house more than once between 13 and 17, but by the time she graduated from high school her friends all called her "the responsible one." She's in college now, and she's turned into an interesting, intelligent, energetic and independent young woman -- who still, about five percent of the time, pushes our buttons.

But the real winner in this is her 15-year-old sister, who has seen the benefits of our raising her big sister with understanding and reason, in the face of anger and heartache, and she's using understanding and reason to get through her own adolescence.

Answer 2

Hunny, they are called "teenage hormones". Everyone gets the same way at some point, and it wont end until menopause, which is when it gets worse.

Try eating right, getting plenty of rest when you are agitated. Plenty of fish will help with your mood. Or if you don't like fish, take a multi-vitamin that includes omega 3 fatty acids.

Try to spend some more time alone or with friends, away from your family. And just explain to your mom what is going on, without insulting her. Chances are she has felt the same way sometime in her life and will totally understand.

Answer 3

ok Jacob, going to Church is a few thing substantial, so i assume you're asking in case you may stay in that Methodist Church or bypass to a distinctive Church yet in the comparable denomination, it form of feels your modern-day church desires you extra desirable than the different Church, why? as a results of fact in case you sense that Church have been given "ineffective" then many human beings sense the comparable, what it is going to make the church alive it quite is all written in the Bible, pray, help the human beings who choose the main, share the Gospel it quite is all approximately that and additionally sharing the reward with others, that with deep be taught of the observe, which optimistically will carry approximately a extra constructive know-how of religion and could lead many to end sins, by the way there are a number of problems inspite of the undeniable fact that it does no longer recommend we could bypass away each thing at the back of or that the answer is often outdoors, so i choose to recommend you to make certain if there a competent answer in Christ to your Church, as a results of fact the church isn't something if human beings do no longer bypass and don't pray and don't have self assurance in the Lord, so pray and be obedient and your Church would be alive the way it form of feels you like it to be, initiate with slightly and God will make a distinction. additionally seek for the fact examine the bible and bypass away each sin, it quite is area of believing in the Lord. In Christ. Rene C.

Answer 4

maybe u are going through a change.just spend a nice day together.



also u r not a spoiled brat whoever wrote it is the spoiled 1.

Answer 5

Maybe you are spending too much time alone/together with them. Talk to your parents about it and if they love you they'll help you! Best of luck,
Sincerely,
Your bestest friend

Answer 6

Why don't you tell them how you are feeling and tell them to give you some time until you "recover", and that they only are making it harder for you.
PS: Be nice and sweet.
I used to have that problem, don't worry it will pass.

Answer 7

I mean you need to get a grip on life and have
respect for others. Grounded for life if you don't
change your attitude.

Answer 8

i think your probably just going through changes. trust me i did the same thing. just give it time, i know they aggravate you but maybe try spending more time with them. i know it sounds crazy, but they miss you when you don't talk to them. so just give it time. try to relax more. the aggravation will pass.

Answer 9

You're a spoiled little brat!..... hope they took the phone away from you too...