Even tho he has the custody and now I want my son back since he is not HIS and my son really wants to come back home with me. But want to do the right thing without losing my son. He has raised my son for 8 years now and I just had DNA done this past summer.
2006-12-06 09:09:21 · 20 answers · asked by Shellie ann 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
btw i am not a trash. My son knows the truth and i did have a reason why i did not have him back then but i have visitation rights all those years... my son is not happy with the not bio father and wants to come home and the real father has nothing to do with me or my son. thanks
2006-12-06 09:30:01 · update #1
yes..he's more your son dan ur ex-husband's..u have full rights to do so
2006-12-06 09:12:29 · answer #1 · answered by pappin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you have to think of what is better for your son. If your husband has custody of him, then he obviously was deamed the better parent by a judge. (that's not my opinion that's a fact.)
You telling him this tidbit of information would mostly be like an 'in your face' jab, a final blow. And you'll only be hurting your son. Think of the reasons why your son would even want to come back to you. Is it because dad is actually being a good parent and making him follow rules or something?
You need to pick what is best for your son, and surprise, that doesn't mean what is best for you. You can't say that "now you want custody back" that isn't fair. This man has raised this child and probably formed emotional bonds with him. You pulling some DNA test won't change that, and will only make things bitter.
And it will make your son feel displaced. You know who the real dad is? Is this guy going to be a good dad to him? These are all questions you will have to answer.
Plus, in the eyes of the court, this will only deam you MORE irresponsible, to have kept this for eight years, and to bring it up now, shattering your child's life, and his idea of his dad. Don't think that he wont find out or something, because he will.
Don't do it. I know you want to, but don't.
2006-12-06 09:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by equinebeing 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Youre going to have to go back to court to try and regain custody from him. This is one sure way to regain custody so either way he ll find out, Alot depends on what kind of relationship you have with him, but if youre still friends, then tell him. Itll probably floor him but the truth always hurts. Or you can not tell him go to court and ask the judge to let your son decide who he wants to live with and use the DNA thing as a last resort type thing if things in court dont go your way. Good luck
2006-12-06 09:19:45 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has had custody for 8 years and now suddenly you want your son back? Unbelievable! Children are not a pawn to be used in your personal battles. YOU ARE WRONG! Leave your son where he is. Why disrupt his life like that? And forget you ever had that DNA test done. Your son will never forgive you.
2006-12-06 09:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not be the "bio-father", but for the past 8 years he has been the father to that boy. For you to take that away from your son now is selfish.
With that said, since you know, so should everyone else. First tell your ex-husband that he is not the bio-dad. Then, BOTH of you sit down with you son and explain it. For you to keep this from them is wrong.
As for legal custody - that one needs to be desided by a judge.
2006-12-06 09:15:21 · answer #5 · answered by Nemo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with you?
You already know the answer to that crazy question....
Whatever prompted you to go through with the DNA test this past Summer... should have been done 8 years earlier.
In your mind... when you were doing your thing back in the day...did you have this thought... "what the heck...let me play this out by denying there's even a possibility this child could be anyone elses but the man I'm married to" YOU KNEW THEN.....but selfishly decided to not consider the impact it would have in the future on these two individuals... What kinda crap is that!
So.. now you're asking this crazy question...
SELFISH motives always STINK and hurt other people.
What a trip you are. Pleaze...
2006-12-06 09:21:45 · answer #6 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whatever you do is your choice. You will probably have to go back to court to get custody regardless of the DNA test and depending on the judge or the jurisdiction of the case that is not a 100% guarantee that you will get him back based on DNA alone considering he has been this child's dad for at least 8 years that I can tell from your post.
2006-12-06 09:14:53 · answer #7 · answered by Airlantiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you and your son and the real baby daddy got tested....you can't possibly know what your talking about. Also why the hell do you think its so easy to just say its not HIS son when he has raised this child for 8 years. HELL YEAH its his son NO MATTER WHO PROVIDED THE SPERM. YOU should be ashamed of your damn self and obviously YOU have issues or he wouldnt have custody anyway. The law may recognize him as the legal father anyway and I hope they do because you dont sound fit to raise a pig.
2006-12-06 09:17:33 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in some states, if a man acts "as the father" in that he provides financial support for the upbringing of the child and acts in a parental role, that man is legally required to continue the role of father figure until the child is 18, EVEN IF IT IS LATER DETERMINED THE MAN IS NOT THE FATHER.
depending on where you live, you may have screwed your ex- over big time. I'd hate you and hate you and hate you if I were him. good job lady.
next time get a dna test the day a child is born.
2006-12-06 09:33:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that is truely right. It is not the DNA that gives a child a father, but the acual person they are put with. For instance, if someone is adopted; that is there father and they feel genuine about that.
2006-12-06 09:13:47 · answer #10 · answered by Icesage0 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
for the child's sake, keep your dna test and find a place for it. he has custody because you were either unfit or unable to care for the boy. don't tear them apart, and if you do, be sure and pay the man for 8 years of supporting him.
2006-12-06 09:14:41 · answer #11 · answered by sinned 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋