Is it too much to expect your best-friend to 'care' and 'consider' you and your feelings? Being blamed as being 'too sensitive' when they are deliberately hurtful , thats not on is it? Has anybody had experiences with one-sided friendships ie. one side gives, the other takes! Its easy to say walk away, is it worth staying to make the friendship work, or is it a fruitless exercise?
Sensible suggestions for a disillusioned guy, welcomed!
2006-12-06 09:01:31 · 24 answers · asked by Ian 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hello Ian,
There must be something that joins you both. Or is it just selflessness? You give this person unconditional friendship, which I suppose is how we should offer our friendship. You are more of a man than me gungadin. I would want reciprocated care and love from a friendship. lol although I certainly have a few questionable friendships now and MOST certainly have done in the past. I think you need to be valued and not abused>>(quickly slaps self) If I was you I would have to eventually stand up for my self, but that's very hard if you don't want to hurt the other person, however much they hurt you lol lol bog life is confusing. Ohhhhh praps you could take a picture of you when you were a baby and when people are nasty to you think of what you would say as an adult if someone was nasty to the child you once were. Even if you don't say anything it might put things into perspective of what real friendship is and how real friends treat each other. x hope that helps>>>> runs off to try out snorkel in a bucket
2006-12-06 09:24:24 · answer #1 · answered by : 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I concur with the majority of people-- this individual is obviously more concerned about meeting his own needs rather than anyone else's. I have definitely been in your position.
Unfortunately, in the past I treated my friends the way this bloke is treating you, and let me enlighten you to his perspective. It is very convenient to have friends that make sacrifices for you and are concerned with your life without really investing your time into them. Perhaps he is a narcissist, and feels that his time is the valuable aspect of the friendship. You say that he is deliberately hurtful-- are you sure it is deliberate? He seems blissfully ignorant, as the saying goes. As it relates to my personal experience, you need to create some boundaries. When I was mistreating friends, I continued on until the confronted me about it.
Walking away from a friendship is the more difficult decision, I think. But that doesn't necessarily make it the wrong one. Ask yourself, what are either of you gaining from this friendship? Is he gaining anything except your humoring and obliging him to his self-indulgence?
Take some time and think about it, but you should definitely confront him.
2006-12-06 17:00:59 · answer #2 · answered by [ a. j. ] 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I had a friendship like this one. It started out as a equal, two sided relationship, but with time she changed and like your friend became a manipulative taker. Eventually we "broke up"- after almost 15 years of friendship, and it really turned out to be a good move- I realized how toxic our friendship had become and how draining it had become to try to maintain a friendship that she would not/could not work to maintain. Sometimes saying goodbye is the only and best thing, for your own peace of mind.
2006-12-06 09:08:56 · answer #3 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i did.no matter what she did to me.well, i have a best friend too, is she. its not like i want to dig everything i did for her but, sometimes i felt like she's taking advantage of my kindness to her.i give her everything i can to her, even a small money if she in need and desperate for it.She said she'll pay back but, i know she wont.for no heart feelings, i help her.again and again...too many things i did to her to b mention here but, as i always think, friendship is worthless without sincererity..give and take is da 2nd thing..i knew her for 15 yrs as we are 22 now.same grade, same school, same curicular activities.remind this if we think something not good about him / her..honest to him / her, thats what i did to her.money doesn't matter whilst frienships priceless.mind that :)
2006-12-06 17:53:22 · answer #4 · answered by n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was your friend deliberately hurtful, or just thoughtless? Is it just this once or is it habitual? How do you feel about yourself, do you respect yourself? because if you don't no one else will.
Take a long look at this 'friend', his treatment of you and yours of him. Be honest, not bitter or angry, and then ask yourself do you WANT to be friends with him. Is he really your BEST friend? No one can answer this question for you, but be honest with yourself, are you worth more than this?
2006-12-06 09:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My best friend moved to a different state and has made new friends but I still care about her. She comes to visit a lot, but she has changed since moving, because of her new friends, and she hardly ever calls or messages me anymore. It's hard, but keep in touch, he still cares about you, maybe he's just busy!
Good luck! =D
2006-12-06 09:11:09 · answer #6 · answered by ღღღ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a best friend wouldn't tret u like that. i know i went through the same thing but mine stood me up at my wedding as she was 1 of my b-maids and i had 2 let the friendship go.
2006-12-06 09:06:07 · answer #7 · answered by sweetie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question - you want your friend in your life. Back off and give him some breathing space and then try to clear the air - good luck x
2006-12-06 09:05:07 · answer #8 · answered by voluptuous 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know something someone who takes and never gives in this friendship of yours doesn't deserve someone like you. This guy isn't a true friend. forget him. Althought it is obvious that you are nice guy.
2006-12-06 12:36:00 · answer #9 · answered by "*♥*Nafisa*♥*" 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should just wish your friend the best and always be there when he needs it. Show you know what a friend is suppose to do! =) Kisses n' hugs.. Issa w/h! mua!
2006-12-06 17:20:12 · answer #10 · answered by Issa A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋