3 months ago I told my girlfriend I wanted some time apart because things were moving fast, and we were getting pretty serious. My girlfriend was very upset, but I insisted and we didnt see each other for a month. When I realized how much I loved her I asked her to take me back. At first she was still angry at me, but after a few weeks she finaly took me back.We are happy for the past two months, but last week I asked if she had dated anyone while we were apart - I did not.I found out she not only did date but she even slept with someone she knows from her gym and someone from her work, she says for about 3 weeks she had regular sex .The past few days I have been trying to hold in my jealousy.I know it is my fault and I gave her the freedom, but how do I get rid of my rage without showing it to my girlfriend?I have been asking her details of what happened and we have talked, and i feel i need to know altho its hard. i let her know it is ok to talk about enjoying the sex. am i ok?
2006-12-06 08:56:04 · 39 answers · asked by downtokissit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow! In one month she found a guy and had sex with him for 3 weeks? I guess she didn't waste any time in forgetting about you. I would be pretty insanely jealous myself. I understand your rage and I don't feel I wont personally be able to be with the person. If they loved me, then why did they run off to jump in the sack with someone else? You were asking for alone time to think things through before it gets more serious, and she uses the time to f*ck other guys?? Ouch!
You don't really have a "right" to know what she did, but she already told you she slept with other people. What more do you really want to know? Do you honestly think you want to hear her say "Yea, Jimmy was big and he was really good in bed." No. If you are willing to accept what she did, then accept it and move on. If you cannot handle it (which I doubt I would be able to) then break up for good because it will eat you alive. You don't stop loving someone in a week. If she loved you, she wouldn't have done it and if she did love you but did it just to "get over" you, then sorry to say this... but she's a hoe. (I'm not saying that's the case). Someone from the gym and someone from work?? WTF!!!!
2006-12-06 09:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by jennytkd13 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world do you feel like you need to know all the details.
To begin with you had no right to know what she did in the first place.
Come back to the place where you knew that you were responsible for the break-up. You hurt her very badly. So where do you get off thinking she owes you anything?
Consider yourself lucky you have her back. Hold her a little closer and tell her how much you love her and forget all this other stuff.
You will drive yourself crazy and to what end. You will soon not love her anymore and be gone again.
Did she ask you if you had been with anyone? NOT!
Did you insist that you know all of what she did before you first met her. NOT!
Come on man. Take the gift she has givin you and forget about the rest. She is back even though you don't deserve her.
2006-12-06 09:08:41 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. A lot of healing is in order.
I am surprised that she found two guys SO QUICKLY after you asked for a "breather" from the relationship. Why couldn't she have waited? I waited 10 yrs for one guy to come around, and he finally married someone else. But I kept myself virgin all those years. I could not blame him. It's just the way things turned out.
But here we are with your situation. You ask for a Break not a Breakup. She decided to get "even" by bedding several guys - two of which she admitted to. Maybe more? In any case, she doesn't sound like a patient person. She doesn't sound like marriage material. She wants the sexual release, it is priority over the companionship, and she's angry if she doesn't get her way. Do you really need this? Is she the only person you can love?
Take a step back and look at the ways she handled this temporary separation. Look at it logically. Then ask yourself: Is this woman worthy of being the mother of my children? Is she really a keeper? You know best if you can handle her habits of infidelity later in marriage. Some men can look the other way when the wife goes astray once in a while. Can you?
2006-12-06 09:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were the one who broke it off in the first place, you gave up your right to know anything about her life on your time apart. You should have known that something like that was likely to happen. I think you may be more jealous because you didn't do anything. Get over it. Realize it is not her fault and it has nothing to do with you at all. You need to stop asking for details, it is only going to hurt you in the long run and end up ruining your relationship for good. Just accept it and move on.
2006-12-06 09:10:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to laugh. I just love you men and women that say "I needed a break" "I needed space" "I needed time to sort things out". Well...there's the result. Ask and ye shall receive. By the way. Why are you so bent on finding out all the gory details anyway? Just enjoy making yourself feel even worse huh?
To begin with, she should dump you because you're unrelaible and vice versa because she has no self control. I predict that if you two get married it will last no more than 3 years. You'll be lucky if it manages to last even that long.
2006-12-06 09:25:56 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you created a space for both giving in to what ever now leave it alone dont ask cause it could have been you in the same conference as she was . so i say let it be but watch out for future that the past dont meet in the future or if it does = your relationship was destroyed when you left .. got it !!!! you should think 2 and ask an outsider as in yahoo before you do another silly thing = ans = is you gave up all rights when you left. which makes her able to question what was the departure all about and why
2006-12-06 09:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two weren't together , she was single and that put her in a new position just like the one she was in before she met you so in that case she did no wrong .I know you love her but that type of info can hurt and scar a person of course it was ok to feel angry ! But to move pass the past you have to let go .One day you may get the arguing and bring it up in the heat of the argument but you have to let go of the past and move towards the future for the sake of your relationship.Just think you got her now she's all yours and no one can come between you now.The past is gone the present is now.
2006-12-06 09:05:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that since you were "on a break" (sounds like Friends), then you honestly don't have the right to know. What happened when you were broken up is technically none of your business. However, if you're just dying to know, ask her to tell you the details. Be warned however, the details could potentially ruin your relationship with her. Be honest with yourself, and ask which is more important. Your curiosity? Or your relationship with your girlfriend?
2006-12-06 08:59:54 · answer #8 · answered by BeezKneez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... It depends on how much you want to be with her. It wasn't cheating because you weren't together but I can still understand why you would be upset over it. Just talk to her and tell her how you feel and make sure you both want the same things from a relationship just to ensure she doesn't continue that type of behavior while you are together. Good luck!
2006-12-06 08:59:37 · answer #9 · answered by love_n_hate84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask details, what dose that do, nothing! You cant change what hap-pend, but you can control what happens now!get over it! She is having a party right now: First you asked her to give some space, and now she is happy to see you suffer, get it?!Dude it was not to good of sex she had, if she is back with you so screw it!! You the Man.
2006-12-06 09:30:55 · answer #10 · answered by cece 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋