I have been trying to figure this out with my faince and its just like when i talk to him he is completely quite,it drives me nuts but i think im patience enough, we are engaged and have been for a few mths. i have a job and he doesnt, we do not live together yet. but i feel that everytime he talks about a job he is interested in and when it comes to approaching it, such as him wanting to be a electrician. he like shys back. when he shys back, i feel like everything is rely on me. i want him to be able to support him and i well,even as he says he wants to support us.next yr we'd be moving in togther etc.but what should i do? im just getting sick of this repeat and i just wnat him to get a damn job. i dont know if i can be able to go on with this reltionship if he wont eb able to support and its all on me.:( its hard choice cuz i love him so much...help plz!
2006-12-06 08:55:00 · 5 answers · asked by Andrea 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no easy solution here. What I read is that youve had enough, so you just have to decide if youre better off with or without him and go from there. This guy sounds lazy and lets you hear what you want to hear, just so you wont get rid of him. As long as you play his little game he ll stay around doing nothing. He is comfortable with things just the way they are. So now its time for some tough love; give him the ultimate choice; get a real job and keep it or youre gone and stick to it otherwise nothing will ever change. Either way he has to change. Good luck
2006-12-06 09:09:35 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship will have a better chance if you both go into it able to support yourselves independently. Shared independence is a lot friendlier than dependence. If I were you, I wouldn't get married until he gets a steady job and things stabilize for him. Better to find out where this is all going to go before you make a life long commitment, which could result in a mistake. As much as you love this guy, you are frustrated and it is hard to stay in love with a damn loser. Secondly, if you do get married, I'd keep your finances totally separate. You pay for your stuff, he pays for his and you split the rent, etc. This way, you don't end up arguing about money and don't feel the need to explain where you spend your $, which allows each of you to maintain a healthy sense of independence.
2006-12-06 09:48:26 · answer #2 · answered by seattlego 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should move in with him or marry him yet....If he's being a bum now, that won't change and you will have that struggle on your hands of taking care of a man and that is a big no no if he is not trying to go after what he wants...
I think your man is a man who will go after the sorry jobs and will not strive for the electrician job because its too much work....
Girl, get away, you can do better....
2006-12-06 10:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be able to have a job and support himself before you move in together and that is a big important issue.
2006-12-06 09:02:42 · answer #4 · answered by Airlantiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not marry him unless he gets a job. Do not move in with him until he is financially viable either, otherwise, you will be stuck witha bum and you will regret it.
Good luck
2006-12-06 08:59:38 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋