what do i do i feel so low i miss them?

Question

my wife left 3 months ago with our two kids 13 and 9 now in court fighting to see them court officer involved seen 9 year old 3 hours last week 13 year old doesnt want to see me wife taken them living with her controling parents he left me after 10 years just doesnt love me know more thats hard enough to take but trying do deal with kids tearing me apart ive been a good dad and husband she just being awkward and selfish the law is so unfare on innocent people so had enough

Answer 1

my dad had similar situation when i was eleven...he never gave up fighting for custody of us, even though his heart was breaking, it took over a year to prove he was a great dad, and that he wanted the best for us children & it got emotional/scary/shitty at times but he kept on going, keeping us informed all the way & being dioplomatic & not cussing mum in front of us! Get yourself a good solicitor & a welfare officer who will sort out access to see your children & you will be half way there. Please dont give up, my dad won custody of us after he had proved himself as the better parent & we grew up happy & well adjusted. Good luck hunny! XXX

Answer 2

Ouch. Sorry you're hurting so much - what a tough situation!

What do you do? First off, you allow yourself to have a natural reaction to what is an awful event in your life. Of course you hurt - you loved someone who left you and love your kids, and right now, everything's messy, so it's painful. Don't beat yourself up for hurting when it's been such a short time.

Next, you remind yourself that nothing lasts forever, and eventually, things will settle down - and you don't really know how things will turn out. Right now, everybody's upset. When things have been calmer for a while, so long as you are still making yourself available to your kids should they want to see you, at some point, they'll probably want to see you.

They're hurting, too - and hurting people don't always do rational things. As much as this hurts, your best bet is to do what you can in court to see them (which proves that you want to, because you're trying), and be ready to be there for them when they come to you, which they probably will at some point.

In the meantime, you work on yourself, get your life in order, try your best to create a happy, healthy life of your own, so that you can offer the chance to be part of that to your kids when the chance comes.

Talking to a therapist or counselor might not be a bad idea - it'd be nice to have someone to talk to who isn't involved in the situation, and can encourage you to be healthy, because you want to be healthy and ready for your kids when the time comes, right?

Answer 3

The courts should grant you no less than other weekend, if they are not she would have needed to have given a really good reason why she thought access would not be benificial.....

If your solicitor is not getting you what you want change him/her....

It is a difficult situation but the kids are unsettled at the minute, when it all calms down they will see things clearer....just take one day at a time....bless you x

Answer 4

Beaver so sorry for you but hard prayer works even if you not religious it helps . The courts have to give you access unless they can prove you unsuitable but your wife left you so that is in your favour i wish you luck chin up cheers you have friends here dont despair you not on your own

Answer 5

HANG IN THERE THERE IS NOTHING KIDS NEED MORE THEN THEIR PARENTS THEY WILL COME AROUND I KNOW I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING TO BE ABLE TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND TALK TO MY DAD. THINGS WILL TURN AROUND FOR THE BETTER.

Answer 6

aww im sorry i think u should bee alowed to see them!!hope u do and find a way through this good luck!xx