Worried my Husband is talking to much with his ex-wife, using the excuse that he needs to know about his child

Question

I have been married to my husband for 3 yrs and since I got married I have fought with my husband to curb his talk with his ex wife his daughter is 15 yrs old but according to his ex wife never wants to talk to him so of course she is the one who always talks to my husband regarding thier daughter. He spent 2000.00 calling to his ex wife, we had been separated for the same reasons and the phone bill showed that the calls were at night sometimes the calls were 600 min long. He always refers to sending them money not his daughter. She always calls him about her problems or if she broke her foot or things like that. He talks to his daughter but very little. She of course calls during the day when he is at work and also calls when the daughter is at school. I have told my husband that I don't like his constant contact but he gets very upset saying I just don't see why I am suppose to talk to her in front of you. Please help, what do you think am I overreacting or is what I feel maybe real.

Answer 1

I dont care what anyone says..his daughter is 15 and old enough to call him. He does not need to carry on long convos with the ex unless there are academic, health, or something of that nature issues. He should get his daughter a cell phone with mobile to mobile so he wont incurr huge fees. If he continues or uses his almost of age daughter as an excuse to DISRESPECT you...I would leave his asss cause there is definetly something ELSE going on.

Answer 2

No you are not crazy!....it is very real and you need to get out of this situation by telling him that if he needs to use the daughter as an excuse to talk to his ex, then he should have just stayed with the ex-wife. YOU ARE his life now, what you say and how you feel about this is all he should be concerned with!...If he disagrees then he shouldnt have left his last marriage! How ever his daughter ends up is him and the ex's fault for giving up on the marriage before realizing that they should have stayed together for the child sake! Its all bullsh*t! Put an end to it or walk away!

Answer 3

I think you're being ridiculous. You knew what you were getting into when you married the man. You knew he had a kid and an ex wife. He's going to have to talk to his ex wife about his daughter for a good reason - it's his kid and he needs to be informed on what is going on. Generally speaking - most teenagers don't fill their parents in on everything. He needs to know what is going on with his daughter whether it's about school, her health or anything else. If her mother broke her foot and called your husband that would make sense - her broken foot may make it harder to do things for their daughter and she may need help from your husband for the sake of their kid.

I think you need to be more mature about the situation and give him some credit. Would you want to be with someone who doesn't care about their kid at all?

Answer 4

Wow, I experienced the same problem with my now ex second husband. He seemed to pay a lot of attention to his ex wife and his daughter and finally after three years, he left me and went back to her, after telling me he wanted to commit suicide when living with her. He then came back to me and after many years he left again. I am not trying to put you off here, but my opinion is that if he really didn't care for his wife, he shouldn't be even thinking of contacting her. In my case, I also found out after many years that, he had other hidden issues and other reasons for spending a lot of time on the phone, at the end he could no longer deal with his problems and finally gave away another marriage, our marriage and his third. he has a sickness and won't admit it. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

When I read the headline of your post my first thought was: She is his ex for a reason, but it does seem that you do have reason to be concerned. Personally, I don't think it's a matter of wanting to get back w/ his ex, but the two of you do need to talk. If his daughter can't call him, at 15 yrs. of age, then she doesn't want or need what her mother is calling about. It is time for you husband to take action and tell his ex that unless the daughter is dying or in the hospital, then she needs to call herself and talk to her dad. If he can't do that then you need to put your foot down and when you leave this time....don't come back! Its one thing to talk to your ex about your kids, but the amount of time and cost of phone calls is absurd and I am positive that his ex is loving every moment of turmoil that she is causing in your lives! Try explaining to him its not about his talking to his ex its about the amount of time and money he is spending to do it! If he stops calling/taking the calls/cutting them short when its not his daughter the ex will get the hint.

Answer 6

First, there is now unlimited long distance to most places. Sounds like you need it. Second, there is a reason she is the ex. Just because he is talking to her about their child does not mean that he is going back to her or is interested in her in any other respect other than that they share a child. It is not common but parents who can remain friends after a break up really are a benefit to their children.

Answer 7

I am in a similar situation but you have to remember that, his child must always come first. My bf is really good friends with his ex-wife including inviting myself and my son to family functions. It is a really hard situation to be im beuz of course you always think the worse like he wants to get back with her etc, etc. Talk to your husband he did after all marry you, tell him how much it bothers you and that you understand that they have to talk becuz of the child. If he really loves you he will try to tone it down a bit but you must remember that they do have a child together and you knew this when you married him. Unfortunately when you married him you also married the family and its issues. Please do not be so insecure talk to him and trust what he says!!!

Answer 8

Have you tried talking to his daughter when she calls and advising her to call back when he is home? Also, stop fighting it. As a previous answer advised, his daughter will always be his daughter. Try to accept it & let him know you understand. Once you do that, it might surprise you as to what can happen. Some people immediately become resistant to anything that's presented in an angry tone. Please, try not to make demands or ultimatums unless you are prepared to follow through.

Answer 9

$2000 Dollar Phone Bill?
That is a bit excessive. I do not know how you manage to pay that kind of bill if it happens all the time. Heck I don't know how one would pay that kind of bill even once.

If this is a continuing problem, you may want to seek professioal help. He has an issue. It's something you don't like. It needs to be addressed. Cousning would be a very good idea.

Answer 10

if you share the paying of the bills this including the phone bill, then i would come out and tell him that he will be the one that pays for any calls that are between the two of them. i guess i would be mad as well.even if nothing is going on he is making it seem as if there is, by saying he does not need to talk to her in front of you.the next time she calls and he is at work ask her why she calls when she knows he is not at home. sounds to me she does it to upset you. i think i would tell him if he has nothing to hide then it should not be a problem talking in front of you. if he still want their talks to be private, dump him!! let her have him.