I recently married the man of my dreams. He is my high school sweetheart and I know he loves me back. But i often feel like he is more interested in other males, but he would never admit it. He doesn't ever want to have sex/make love. I can count on one hand how many times we have in the past four years. When we "mess around" it seems like he doesnt enjoy it and he stops us for one reason or another. I recently found a letter from him to another male asking to "experiment". He denyed it and we went about our lives. Now everytime I wasnt to even kiss him, I feel like there is no purpose, because he is gay. Is there anyway I could found out or ask him if he is gay without hurting him? And should i get out of the relationship because I do not feel like I am getting what I need out of it now?
2006-12-06 07:49:26 · 13 answers · asked by hakaaf 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Girl , you are right in the middle of a Will and Grace episode. Get out of the marriage , or demand marriage counseling . he needs help! I'm sorry for the pain you must be going through.
2006-12-06 08:32:34 · answer #1 · answered by srstephens 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he isn't gay, he's very happy. Sorry, don't mean to make light of what is obviously a very serious problem for you. I'd get out of the relationship, you're young and you say you can count on one hand how many times you've made love in the last four years? Didn't you kind of wonder why he wasn't that interested before you got married? Doesn't matter now. Get out and find the REAL man of your dreams. Right now you've just got a nightmare. Good Luck to you.
2006-12-06 07:57:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not nessisarily. It could very well be that you need to re-evaluate your situation.
A lot of men are scared to feel that emotion and compassion when making love/ sex, because of abused, or past relationships that can hurt them. I don't know, I am not a guy. However, I have done a lot of research.
Even if he IS in fact Gay, you have to let him know that this is not working out for you and it is destroying you. Or rather, its not satisfying.
Its obvious that you have some reconsidering and some adjusting. I consider couples counseling. If he is not interested, you know somethings going on.
My mom's boyfriend is the same way. He is VERY touchy. He has a best guy friend who he spends a LOT of time with. they kid around about being "gay" too, and it embarrasses him. He never wants to do anything with my mom either, which lets me know that you both have the same problem. Just check it out. Or...invite a guy over, to have a threeway, see what he does!?..:-)
2006-12-06 08:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your husband is probably gay...or perhaps bisexual. Either way, have you ever just blatantly asked him if he is gay? Maybe if you approach him in a very non-threatening manner, he may just tell you. Also, if he does in fact turn out to be gay (which it sounds like he is), just listen to him, don't go ballistic...let him tell his story. And then you should feel free to explain to him how you feel about this situation and how it has affected you. And then you may want to discuss how you guys can move on from there...I would think you should separate from him and let him live his life while you move on with your's. Although you certainly have the right to be angry (I sure would be), just try to not let your anger get in the way of coming to some sort of resolution. Hope everything works out for you.
2006-12-06 08:13:41 · answer #4 · answered by toobland21 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not to say one way or the other, since I do not know him, but it sounds as if he could be gay and trying to convince himself he's not or knows it and is jsut afraid of what would happen if he came out.
As for the marriage, his sexuality doesn't matter. If you are not feeling as if you are getting back what you are putting in, then make that clear to him. Do not leave without a true heart to heart that explains your concerns without mentioning your fear he's gay. See what he says in response. Too many people today get divorced too easily and quickly. Maybe there is another reason he is unwilling or uneager to perform. Stamina/size issues? Performance anxiety? talk to him
2006-12-06 07:55:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
i'm getting suggested as a loose spirit a lot.. yet..i do not imagine i ought to legally bind myself to absolutely everyone. i imagine this is more advantageous artwork to carry onto a relation and not using a wedding ceremony... and no..i ought to by no skill marry a gay guy.. that defeats the purpose of marriage. he's gay. he's not even attracted to you want that.
2016-11-30 05:37:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be far better of talking to him than us. The truth may be unpalatable, it may hurt you and destroy your dreams. But, isn't that better living in a cold sterile relationship that will destroy you both?
On the other hand, it may be just the prod he needs to make him realise what he is losing out on.
2006-12-06 07:53:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship. Tell your husband that you can't go on living a lie, and he shouldn't either. Its time for him to come out of the closet and stop hurting you.
2006-12-06 07:52:24 · answer #8 · answered by kherome 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Who cares if he is gay, straight, or bi? It sounds like you are unhappy in the relationship. I would end it on those purposes soley.
2006-12-06 07:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by Maximus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take th helpof some sincere male friend or bro anybody u think suitable to ask this from him
2006-12-06 08:04:08 · answer #10 · answered by kawal 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋