okay my sister is pregnant and wants to have an abortion. She cant take care of it and is very stressed out because she knows its murder but adoption scares her also because she doesnt want to give her child up. She wants my advice but i dont know what to say? Any advice i can give her because i dont want her to have the abortion.
2006-12-06 07:35:15 · 21 answers · asked by brownsugar 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I think that if she doesn't want to live with her own conviction of adoption being "murder", because ultimately, she is the one that it affects most, then she should re-consider adoption. Lots of people are willing to do OPEN adoptions now, and if she feels abortion is murder, isn't adoption a little lesser the evil for her?
(I'm trying to put myself into her mode of thinking...giving away the child isn't as bad as terminating it.) She should think about an open adoption in which she'd still be able to be a part of the child's life.
2006-12-06 07:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her know how you personally feel because it only complicates things for her. All you can do is support her decision. How old is your sister? As for advice, I would tell her that she needs to make a list of pros and cons to having a child. Getting pregnant is scary for everyone, even if it is a planned pregnancy. But she has to think about her child and whether or not she feels she can offer her child the quality of life that it deserves. Also, it is important to consider what stage of pregnancy she is in. If she is several months along, for example, it may be harder to make the decision to abort the pregnancy. If she is just weeks along then that might play a role in her decision.
I understand your opinion about abortion but you must remember that until you are in the situation, you never really know how you will react. I know a few people that never thought they could have an abortion... never ever... and then when they became pregnant unexpectedly their opinion changed. It's a very difficult decision.
As for everyone's opinions about abortion KILLING a baby, clearly that is up for debate and the center of much controversy. And having an abortion will not "haunt" her for the rest of her life if she truly feels it is the best decision for her and her baby. Giving her baby up for adoption may also haunt her for the rest of her life, you just never know.
Abortion is NOT a form of birth control.. let me make that clear. But there are many people out there that don't even approve of an abortion if it means saving the mother's life... so don't consider the radical opinions. Think about what your sister needs at this time and support her.
2006-12-06 15:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Speak to her from your heart. Let her know that whatever your parents do or say, you will support her emotionally (because it sounds like you will). Explain that giving up a baby for adoption is a very loving thing to do because it would allow her infant the chance to have advantages even she didn't have (many adopting, married couples are very financially secure).
If worst comes to worst, take her to a week-by-week pregnancy site. If she SEES that what's growing in her has a heartbeat, she may reconsider giving her child the gift of life and a childless couple the gift of love.
A good site:
http://www.pregnancyguideonline.com/
Remember that the first two weeks are pre-conception, so if she's been pregnant for four weeks, she is at Week Six.
2006-12-06 15:43:30 · answer #3 · answered by Jess B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please ignore the comment below mine. People have their reasons for everything and adoption is selfish also. The best thing to do is to HAVE THE BABY! Abortion is something that should not be used as birth control. When or if your sister has the baby, the money will come. Support will come. Believe me I know. It is not easy taking care of a child but when you have something to work hard for, when you see yourself in the eyes of a child your mindstate and perspective change. There is no longer the option to not survive, you just do. Tell your sister that child is hers and she should have it.
2006-12-06 15:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by drea55429 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know that some people try to describe her fetus as just "tissue" or as a "blob", but that just isn't medically correct. Even now, right this second, that tiny child has a genetic plan that will determine his/her eye and hair color, IQ, size, personality, etc. She/he is a person, full of promise. Abortion would end the life of this innocent human being. The only moral "choice" for anyone in your sister's situation is to determine whether to raise the child or to give it up for adoption.
2006-12-06 15:58:42 · answer #5 · answered by jason p 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let her know there is always open adoption, where she can give the baby up but still see and be a part of the child's life and the child will know her. Maybe you could have her talk to a Catholic priest he may have more advise and be able to help some. Good Luck and I hope you can save this child.
2006-12-06 15:38:53 · answer #6 · answered by LesHug 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that you know shes scared and worried but ask her if she could live with knowwing she killed a child, vs where her child is. She may one day see her child again if she gives it up some adoptive parents will even allow visits as a family friend. But if she aborts she will never see that baby and it will haunt her every day
2006-12-06 15:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by Catie 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There are thousands of heartbroken couples every year in the United States that are sterile and can't have children. There simply aren't enough children to adopt. Please, adoption is the best choice. Spare a life and you will know that someone was able to go to a good family becasue of you. By the way, It is extremely hard to adopt children. They check you out for like a year. Trust me, the only families that get to adopt are good ones.
2006-12-06 15:38:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you influence her decision either way be prepared to support her whatever she chooses. You could give her info on what exactly occurs during an abortion & give her info on 9 months of pregnancy with adoption to follow. Peace to you & your sister.
2006-12-06 15:47:20 · answer #9 · answered by curiousgeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say to her at the end of the day think of the good points about bringing up a child who loves you and you love and when the due date comes she might be depressed thinking that she could have had a baby now if she aborts it and point out she will have loads of support whatever the decision is. but if she keeps it she will have your full support all times.but its up to her in her heart. good luck
2006-12-06 15:39:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋