He has a daughter but at the same time im his girlfriend who he claims he loves but we are on college break for christmas and we both live in ohio i live in grove city and he lives in xenia ohio. it takes 45 minutes to get to his house to mine.he was continplating on if he was coming to see me but as soon as his baby momma called and needed him to babysit he was there the next day....i dont know what to do or say im only 18 and he is 23..but he wants to marry me??? i need help
2006-12-06 07:18:59 · 25 answers · asked by diamond 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
His child will always come first and that includes helping the child's mother so that she can look after the child. It is not an easy situation to deal with and it is good that he is helping her. Who is to know what he is doing?! Do you have reason to beleive that he is cheating or is it simply because he goes there when they need him? Not wanting to be judgemental but I think you are quite young to have to deal with such a difficult issue (another woman's child) and if you want to be with this guy you will have to accept that he has other priorities before you - that is his child. Good luck
2006-12-06 07:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well.. if he's really babysitting, it's good becos at least he's not as irresponsible as someone who abandons his own baby (e.g. a certain hiphop dancer who left his pregnant girlfriend while she was still pregnant and promptly married Brit).... but of course, he could be just meeting up his baby's momma... you could find out by nicely offering to go with him to the baby's house the next time he says he needs to go there to babysit... but you may need to accept that he doesn't want you there (and this may or may not necessarily be because he's getting intimate with the momma; it might be that it's just truly not convenient for u to be around there becos it's someone else's house)..... and you need to accept that he may or may not be serious about you.. Can't really draw conclusions from the information given in your question, since there are facts beyond .. though both of u might need to grow , meet more people , enlarge your circle and interests , grow more mature first.. :)
2006-12-06 07:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by Ming Ju 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm does seem a bit suspicious. Considering that she only wanted him to babysit their daughter.
However how often is he allowed to see his daughter, is he only to see her when he wants or does the mother only allow him to see her sometimes. If its the latter then maybe he didn't ant to rock the boat and he knew that if he didn't go and babysit the chances are, that the next time he wanted see his daughter there would be problems.
However if he is able to see his daughter whenever he wants to, then something is wrong there. You need to sit him down and get some answers, and don't even consider marrying him until you are satisfied with what he is saying and you know for sure that he is not cheating
2006-12-06 07:26:38 · answer #3 · answered by Baps . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can never put yourself in front of the needs of the child. He is being a father, some mothers dont have the fathers to call to babysit. You really cant jump the gun based on this incident. How is you relationship otherwise? An idle mind is the devil's playground. Trust me he will find someone who is more mature and can handle this type of situation that's what you should be worrying about.
Hope this helps.
2006-12-06 07:25:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course he went to stay with his child and not to see you. This is his child and he will always put her first as he should. You are only 18 and don't understand yet, he is 23, and by the way he may be sleeping with her when he visits, you won't know, I am sorry to say, this is usually a great cover up, seeing child-sleeping with the ex. Many people have had this problem.
2006-12-06 07:24:51 · answer #5 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever stop to think that he's trying to be there for his daughter? You don't trust him, plain and simple. Either that, or the ex is hot and you're jealous.
I'm not trying to be mean, but come on! You sound like a spoiled brat. The baby was part of his life before you were. Be glad that he wants to spend time with his baby. You can see how good of a father he'll be to your children, if y'all get married.
2006-12-06 07:29:16 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbell24 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are unable to handle this relationship now than it is a definite possiblity that you will not be able to handle it later..... and yes it is a 50/50 chance that he is still screwing around with his baby momma
Maybe you can consider finding someone without a child or maybe you can become more confident in your self
Just a few suggestions
2006-12-06 07:30:06 · answer #7 · answered by FeeLnUFeeLnMe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seems like your insecure and have trust issues!
This isn't a basis for a healthy relationship, nevermind marriage.
He has responsibilities where his child is concerned and you need to understand and accept this.
I can understand you be very frustrated by this situation, it wont do you any good to carry on like this, u need to talk to your man about how you feel and find out how he feels and take it from there.
If your relationship is long term - i.e. marriage, then you need to get to know his daughter too, maybe you could visit her with him sometimes, that might set your mind at rest.
hope you get it sorted :-)
2006-12-06 07:29:37 · answer #8 · answered by Emma K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He and the mother of his child have a responsibility together - there child. While you may see it differently, he still has to take care of his child. So naturally if she's asking him to babysit I can understand why he would go over there. However, if you feel otherwise and have reason to believe that he could be cheating outside of the fact he may be trying to be a responsible father, then you need to talk to your man and share you concerns.
2006-12-06 07:26:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is his child and his child should always come before you.. Just because he ran to his child doesn't mean he is cheating on you.... If you do not trust him then this relationship is doomed to fail.. Stop worring.. He is with his child and no matter how mad you get over it he will always take his child over you... If he comes and spends time with you and calls you afterwards nothing is wrong.. Grow up some before you think about marriage because he has a child with this women which means she will always be a part of his life no matter what...... Or if it is bothering you that bad drive over there and see 45 mins. is nothing to settle your worring mind.
2006-12-06 07:26:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋