I found out my fieance has cheated on me. It wasn't just once or with just one person. I forgave him for the things i knew about but i have found out more. He cheated on me in my own house while i was at work, with my 15 month old son asleep in the next room. He told my son this person was going to be his new step mom. I found these things out by signing into his IM and talking to the girl while she thought i was him. What should i do? I don't think i can forgive this but i need to find a way to live with it for my sons sake. Please Help ME!!
2006-12-06 07:18:41 · 13 answers · asked by rose_calhoun23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All your doing is wasting your life and time. I did it for 10yrs. I though it was for my sons sake too, But really it's for you. what your doing is showing your son it's OK to be bad and cheat and lie, think about it is that for your son's sake or yours. Is that the "father figure" you want? I have two son's. and the first one I cheated him out of a loving and caring father figure and I re get that everyday and now may second son who only 8 has a loving and caring father figure. He might not be his "real" father. But his "real" father is very much like your fiance. He took my son to other women's and while I was at work and she told my son this is a sec art and not to tell your mom. My son did tell me. And other time like last year when his "real" father was cheating with other women he brought her in my house,while I was working. I know because I found her g-sting behind my sofa. Girl the list go's on. and women like us who stay for our kids are hurting them, doing much damage to them. So when "we" use the words like were staying for there sake or we want them with there real father. You stay because you think maybe he'll change and you want so bad for him to love you. Let me tell you a man like that don't love himself and has no respect for you or YOUR SON. I hope one day you will see what I'm talking about. please read ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger it's easy reading you can find it in most book store,
2006-12-06 08:13:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do indeed need help, hon... where is your self esteem????? Are you so desparate for a guy that you will put up with this.... That appears to be the case, here with what you have written......well, go ahead, takes those jerks out of circulation, and you into a miserable existance..for the rest of your life, using up years you can never get back........ oh well.... but in case you want some words of encouragement.....
Hon, just a quick fill in: Marriage/(relationships) is Respect, Admiration, Trust, and Passion, with a whole lot of lovies, companionship, common goals and attitudes on how time and money should be spent. He betrayed your trust, by sharing his body and soul with another woman....(Don't you find that just revolting????) and how can you have admiration and respect for such a person..... you cannot, sweetie, you are just so low in his eyes, he'll never treat you better, and sorry you can't see it.
He's a baby, hon. I couldn't forgive this either.... it would be all I could do to not vomit in the guy's face when I saw him again. Even if you two got into counseling, and you BOTH wanted to save your relationship, it would be more than two years before the trust would come back again, and that is no guarantee.... but sweetie, in your case, you don't have a relationship, hon, you have a baby on your hands who is not ready to make a committment.... and "once a cheater... " And he is already fulfilling the rest of it, since you have said this is not the first one, nor the first time... What ARE you thinking...That this behavior will end with marriage???? Read some of these questions on this site.... You don't need to find a way to live with this, you need to find a way out of it, and if it means by yourself for awhile, going back to school to better yourself, good for you.... others have been in your place, left, and in the next few years, picked up all sorts of skills to hold down really great jobs, met a better class of men and so on. If you are college material, go for it, or get into a training program...or stay in your miserable life, with a cheating sob.
2006-12-06 15:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your sons sake!!!! Are you kidding me do you want your son to be raise as this is normal. Believe me kids know. My daughter at age 13 and 15 finally came to me and asked me why do you stay mom. I stayed for the kids. I'm out now. Didn't realize the kids see everything. They are more in tune with my feeling and what's going on at home than I was. I'm a little broker now but a whole lot happier.
2006-12-06 16:04:44 · answer #3 · answered by rdwngfever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i dont think your ever going to be able to trust him and i know you want to deal with it for your sons sake but think about your son do you really want him to grow up in a house hold that his parents dont even trust each other or get along. The best thing to do is leave and find you a new man.Your fiance can still be apart of your sons life i woulnt stop that but i wouldnt be with him after knowing he had sex with another woman in my house with my child there. thats just not right. if he were my man i'd chop his balls off and feed them to my dog. He probably wouldnt live to see tomorrow. thats just me and i guess i'm just a b*tch
2006-12-06 15:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one thing that I can tell you is don't stay with for the wrong reason. He can still be a father to his son He just not in your life. Having sex with someone in your one bed is disrespectful in all kinds of way. He doesn't care about you to do something dirty like that honey you need to leave or kick him out.
2006-12-06 15:26:39 · answer #5 · answered by honey brown 0001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it's time for you to leave him.That kind of man doesnt need a companion ,he's a pig.What kind of person he is by telling your son that his woman would be your son step mom.Dont marry that man he will only bring a lot of trouble in your life..
2006-12-06 15:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounding harsh.....does a brick wall need to fall on your heard? Do you think after you're married this guy is going to clean up his act and have some morals and respect for you?
That is not going to happen and the longer you keep thinking it will just makes you unhappier for a longer time. Dump him!!
2006-12-06 15:21:44 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay with him if you want to be cheated on forever. if not leave. you said it's for your son's sake. do u want your kid to grow up with this kind of behaviour in his life, his dad disrespecting his mother like that? doesnt sound to me like he respects you or the kid if he'd bring some ho in your house and have sex with her with the kid in the next room. i'm sorry you're going through this! leave him if you want to save your self esteem
2006-12-06 15:23:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a no-brainer sweetheart. He doesn't deserve to be with you. And honestly, you really shouldn't be debating this. If anyone cheated on me once, that ends everything right there. You can find better.
2006-12-06 15:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by DJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to stay with him then, both need to get help from a relationship specialist. Both of you are affected by his actions and he will not change if action is not taken.
Get out or get help if you want to try and fix the ralationship.
2006-12-06 15:28:43 · answer #10 · answered by stbill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋