Do you think someone should get pregnant right after graduating high school? Say at 18, 19 or 20 years old?

Question

My mother planned her first child at 19, her second at 22. We had a lot of love in our home, but we had very little money or opportunities. I had a mother who seemed unhappy with her little freedom in life and work due to her children and high school diploma.

I wish she would had waited so she had more life experience. I think she would have been a better mother if she had waited several years before getting pregnant.

I don't think women need to wait until their 30's, but at least wait until they have lived life first. High school is not reality and its not the adult world.


What do you think?

Answer 1

I can honestly answer that question. I was married at 18 and had two kids very young. My husband was 20 and we really didn't have much money and it was very stressful needless to say things didn't work out. I am now in my mid thirties and remarried with two young boys and I can't tell you what a much better mom i am this time around not to mention I can provide financially for my children as well. The experience was good but difficult and i missed out on alot I would recommend that young girls wait and enjoy life and do things that you want to do first in life so you don't miss out.

Answer 2

Hey, I will be 19 in September and I just had my first baby 3 months ago. Me and my fiance have been together for 3 years now and have a very strong relationship. It is very normal to want a baby, especially young because you have more energy and everything. Our son wasn't planned whats so ever, I didn't even know I was pregnant until I was 2 and 1/2 months along but we always talked about babies and wanted one badly. We already lived together and had planned on having one soon so we didn't freak out when we found out. If you and your boyfriend are ready, and you think you can handle it and support yourselves and the baby I say go for it. It's VERY hard work I'm exhausted 24/7 but its all worth it in the end. Just know that your whole day will be consumed with play time, feedings, diaper changes, baths, and a lot of screaming in your ear lol. The only thing that worries me about this is that your boyfriend is 17 and might not be prepared for the responsibilities of being a dad, my fiance is 19 and I'm almost 19 and we are in our own place, have jobs, and everything all figured out. Just make sure before you actually get pregnant you know how you will pay for all your expenses like rent, utilities, gas money, food, baby supplies before and after its born, so on and so forth. Hope I helped and good luck! (:

Answer 3

My mom had me when she was 20 and she says she wouldn't of changed a thing... I believe my dad was around 21 or 22 at the time.

I think a women should wait for the right time in her life.. that's what she should choose it to be... She may want some support as in money for planning a child and a right job.

But, if you feel your mom should of waited then that's on you.

I still think it should be a good idea for a women and man both to wait until they can support a child with the right things in life.

Answer 4

Its not the same for everyone though. I was 19 when I got married, and then we had our first baby at 20, I was almost 21.......now it is 11 years later and I am pregnant with our 4th baby ( All babies planned, this is our last) We never had any problems. I was always, happy. But I guess that depends on the person and how they feel about being tied down with children. Im very glad I didnt wait, because now I will have my time alone with my husband while we are still young, when the kids move away and leave us to ourselves.

Answer 5

It's a question of lifestyle. You may not have wanted that lifestyle others may want it.

I got pregnant a year after I graduated. I had already gotten a certificate and was on my way to my degree. I graduated at sixteen and moved out of our home that same year. At nineteen I'm a stay-at-home-mother with a nice home and six credits left for my degree. I'm happy. I've had many life experiences. I am American but I spent my first sixteen years of life in Europe and Central America. I was very mature and my parents trusted me. For my "senior" trip my sister and I took all of our friends to Spain. I've also been to Paris, London, and Garmisch (Germany) alone along with the many countries and places I've visited with my parents. Many Americans don't experience this. I'm so fortunate but at the same time I felt on top of the world. I had done it all. Legally in Germany, where I spent my teen years, I could drink. I got it out of my system and never again will I ever even try to drink. I hate it now--bars, clubs, and everything. With all of those experiences my main goal in life was to become a great mother.

Here I am at nineteen--all my goals completed and writing some new ones. I love my life. My kids love their life. I have also taken in my cousin for the past two years. Sure, I may not be able to drink on my 21st birthday--but I've done that. I may not be able to go back to Paris next year--but I've already done that. I might not get my master's degree as quickly but I have education. I may be young but believe it or not I've done an awful lot that even most 25 year old woman have yet to do.

Money does not equal happiness. Like I said before it's a lifestyle choice. It's up to the parents how they want to be. You had a house full of love growing up. Some people have a house filled with antiques and fancy things but no love. Which is more important? It's up to the parents. I may be young but I have life experience and lots of love. My husband and I thoroughly thought this out before we had our son. We were excited and I don’t know where we’d be without him.

Answer 6

I had my first ( twins) at 36, and my second ( just one this time!) at 38 and have not regretted it for one minute. I had 15 years of building a career and travelling the world before I had my boys and feel that I have enough life experience to really give them the love that they need and deserve. And I am happy with myself and my life, even tho now divorced, I feel I can cope with all that life throws at us. Its such an individual choice honey - all I know is that before I was well over 30, I was simply not ready for the sacrifices that motherhood brings, Now I am and I love it!!!

Answer 7

ok first of all don't put your bad childhood on all of us. i had my first child at 19 my second at 21 and now im pregnant with my third at 23 my husband and i have been married for five years and he is an engineer. making two hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year. we have all the love and money that our children will ever need. they have college funds ( even the one in the belly) and we have a 401k plan. There no such thing as a right time age to not have children if you can and you want to you should as long as you are in a good relationship and the love goes both ways. Judge not and be not judged.

Answer 8

No matter how financially stable you think you are, the world can change in an instant.
Having children takes a willingness to sacrifice. At the point a person is ready to sacrifice the things and lifestyle they want, they are ready to be a parent.
Children need to learn that life isn't alway peachy and they will be much better off to learn at a young age how to be happy no matter what their circumstances are financially.

Answer 9

My mom got married right out of highschool, and a few months later decided she wanted a baby. I came along when she was 19.

She wasnt miserable, she wasnt unhappy, and we had nothing. But we did have a very loving home, and a dad who worked himself to the bone for us. Things got better as they both got older and wiser, but we're a strong family and strong people because the lives they chose made us who we are.

I wouldnt have wanted it any other way. I got to enjoy my grandparents while they were young and able to get around, they were, and still are, able to enjoy us, and even their great grandkids.

Things were always hard, mom was always sick, dad was always working, we never had money. But we didnt need welfare, and we didnt need stuff. We had eachother.

I think people should choose their lives based on what they dream for. My mom dreamed her whole life to be a mother, the same way some kids dream to be lawyers or dentists. Her career in life didnt require college.

My dad was only 21 one when I came along. He never wanted anything more than to get married and have a family, and provide for them in the best way he could.

Granted it would have been simpler, less stressful and filled with more things if they had waited to establish themselves... but I'd have missed out on a lot of dead family members, a lot of hardships to grow through, and years of watching my parents learn and grow and make choices.

Iam 23, got married at 20, got engaged at 19, graduated at 16, because all Ive ever wanted to do was raise kids. Iam glad however that I took the time to live a couple of years before getting pregnant with my husband. Its easier on our marriage, ive had the chance to try on a few careers, and decide that yes, mothering children really is what I want. It makes me that much older and wiser than my mom was.

Answer 10

I think it depends on the person. Hey if you don't want a kid until your 26 then more power to you. I had my first child at 18 and my second at 19. I'm happy, my kids are happy and so is their father. We aren't rich but we do have money. I can't afford to buy my kids $500 outfits but so what. My mom gave birth to me when she was 18. She was never even considered a bad mom. Well, when I was 16 and she and my dad divorced she wasn't the greatest mom but Iunderstand that. Anyways, if someone doesn't think other people should do it they should really mind their own business. Have a child when you're 25 for all I care. That's your life, this is mine.