My mom is crazy, I'm 22 & she wants 2 keep me in the house like a prisoner, home by 11:30 on the weekend! help

Question

I'm a very responsible young lady, I go to school (senior in college), I have a part-time job n pay for my own bills. I try not to ever bother my mom cuz it's all about her and her money. There is a language barrier, I can speak way better english than spanish while she can barely understand english. When we try to communicate we get "lost in translation". It seems like i'll talk to her bout something n she'll take in a completely different way then how i ment it. I try to explain but she won't even hear me out. I've come to the conclusion that there is no talking to her. She takes her anger out on everyone in the house n blames everyone else but herself for everything wrong in her life. I can't take it anymore! I think it's horrible to feel so uncomfortabel in ur own home. On top of all that she has this crazy 11:30 p.m. curfew for me. I don't know what to do anymore. I would hate to move out n leave my dad and sister behind. Should i move out? Don't know if i can afford it....help!

Answer 1

Their house, their rules. Suck it up.
Yes you should move out. Being that you are 22, you should have moved out long ago.

Answer 2

Well, if she's paying the rent or the mortgage, then it's her house. In my house, it's my way or the highway. I guess the next question is, Are you paying rent? If so, that would mean she's really just running a boarding house. If not, then you're not really paying all of your own bills.

What you are experiencing is a natural rift that occurs between young adults and their parents. This has to happen, so that you won't live with your parents forever, and you'll eventually move out on your own. All parents and children go through this in some form or another. You're dying to live an adult life; your mother is dying to keep you a child!

So, if you're a senior, hopefully you're only about 5 or 6 months from graduation. Maybe you can suffer through until then. If not, make some tough choices and work on moving out. Only you can decide if you can tough it out until you graduate and have a job.

Answer 3

You are in a Catch-22 situation because you want to.

I am Mexican, have two teenage daughters, speak both languages fluently and fully understand the situation you and your family are going through.

First and foremost, your mom is a direct reflection of the rigid moral and social conditioning she underwent as a child, adolescent, and young adult. She is set in her ways and it will be next to imposible trying to convince her to see things your way. The frustration she feels for not having done what her heart really desired in life is making her bitter towards the people around her. She takes it out on the people most at hand, her family. She is protective of of her family because that is how she was reared. She is protective of her money because she probably had it tough economically as she was growing up. There are myriad other factors that could be cited but suffice it to say, I think you get the picture.

Your best bet, for your own sanity and security, is to start thinking more about yourself and less about your father and sister. That dilemma can only be solved by the people who feel they have it. You need to quit making excuses for not moving out. There is a certain amount of fear and anxiety in you, isn't there? I know moving out on your own is scary when you've been used to living at home, as unbearable as it may be. You are assured a roof over your head, food to eat and clean clothes to wear. But remember that you cannot make an omelet if you don't break any eggs. Take the plunge and move out! You can rent a small utility apartment, studio apartment, or a room in a boarding house. Don't limit yourself to the possibilities that are there for you once you become independent.

Good luck!!!

Answer 4

I would say to move out. I had to leave my house very young and I made it. There are lots of ads for roommates nears schools. One thing you must remember Spanish families are very old fashion when it comes to girls. Boys can do anything but girls get stuck with being locked up with out friends. Take that into consideration when dealing with your mom. Also as far as her blaming everyone else and not herself. That I believe is in the Spanish handbook for mothers. It says "After a child is born you may now blame that child and the entire world for all of your problems". I read if from my mothers handbook. My mother quotes it all the time.

Remember your mother is Spanish. That means all rules are out the window. Most people will never be able to give you a good answer without knowing what its like to be raised my a Spanish family.

Answer 5

She's probably worried about you and wants to keep you safe. I take it you are the oldest child. Her first one to grow up and you've shown her that you are independent and can make your own decisions.
This fact is depressing (take it from a mom who knows.)
My daughter is also 22 and since she has graduated college and moved out, we've become very close friends. We go shopping together and occasionally even enjoy a drink together. It took me some time to come to grips with the fact that my "baby" is no longer a baby. Try to give your Mom some time too. I know you will enjoy each other later. Please don't burn your bridges with her because there is nothing more precious than a mother / daughter relationship.

Try to stick it out until you graduate if you can't afford to move out.
Just a suggestion: instead of trying to talk to her or argue with her, give her a hug. See what happens.

Good luck!!

Answer 6

If your a responsible young lady, you need not to worry so much about everyone else. Trying to take care of everyone else will only make you your own worst enemy. You can afford to move out, you just don't want to . You maybe be comfortable where you are, having mother taking care of house and home. It's time you start taking care of yourself. Your mother seems to be nerveous about you growing up. Your almost finished college and she knows it. But don't let that hold you down. You will not be successfull that way. Keep telling yourself "my mother's attitude is temporary. She will not always think this way. " When she see you keep on the right track even after college her attitude should change. Best of Luck.

Answer 7

You say that you are a responsible young lady.......but not responsible enough to stand on your own two feet. You should start taking night courses and get a full time job to pay for your own place and stop relying on your mother for a roof over your head. At the age of 22 you should have been gone at the least 4 years ago. You're lucky that your mother even lets you stay with her at that age.........you should realize that it is a privilege. If you can't handle the rules, get the F*ck out.....simple as that.

Answer 8

Ur in a similar situation as me...the only difference is I'm anly 18...but my mom has started making crazy demands about me being home before a certain time & she even tried to take away MY CAR & MY CELL PHONE!!!She doesn't pay the bill for my cell phone & its not in her name...but I've come to realize that it is her house so I have to listen to her...I know its hard to hear that but there isn't much u can do if u live in her house...but if ur really attached to the rest of ur family maybe u could find an apartment near by so u can still be close to ur family but have ur own space too...good luck!!!

Answer 9

WHO IS PAYING FOR YOUR EDUCATION? DO YOU PAY RENT AT HOME? You definetly wontbe able to live on your own with a part time job.
If you cant afford to live on your own then you need to understand that ist your mom's house and therefore her rules go. Its beyond words how discriminatory your are of your mom just because you are bilingual and she is not. There is no such thing as lost in traslantion. My parents are latinos and I confess the old fashion culture was a big burden for me until I moved out. You wanna have control of your life? then MOVE OUT and live your own life! You disrespect your own mother, I hope you stay single or I already feel sorry for whoever is dating you.
Your mom has some issues, butu thats more of a culture thing, bte grateful you are not from india or one of those middle east cultures where they chose your husband and you have to wear veil and cover yourself from head to toe.

Answer 10

Try to understand that especially with a language barrier, your mom is probably very frustrated. As a senior in college, you're growing up, and she's probably trying to cling to you by implementing all of her silly rules. You need to explain to her that you are a legal adult and you're free to do what you want. You love her and you care about her, but she needs to understand where you're coming from. If she still can't understand, I'd say get some friends together and get an apartment somewhere nearby.

Answer 11

LEAVE YOUR DAD AND YOUR SISTER BEHIND! SWEETIE YOUR DAD IS A GROWN MAN WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR SISTER. MOVE OUT IT'S TIME BECAUSE AS UNFAIR AS IT MAY SEEM IT'S STILL HER HOUSE HER RULES THE BILLS YOU MAY PAY ARE YOUR OWN. IT'S TIME AND THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY AT SOME POINT SHE'S GONNA BE DRIVING YOUR SISTER CRAZY IN A MINUTE BY YOU HAVING YOUR OWN PLACE SHE'LL HAVE SOMETHING YOU DON'T. A PLACE TO GET AWAY! DO IT FOR HER TO SO SHE CAN COME AND SPEND THE NIGHT AND TAKE A BREATHER, PLUS NOW YOU CAN COME AND GO AS YOU PLEASE, LEAVE IT AS CLEAN OR AS DIRTY AS YOU WANT AND THE BEST PART IS YOU DONT HAVE TO HEAR HER F-ING MOUTH! YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE HER PLACE AND GO HOME. YOU RUN THINGS GIRL CUT THAT APRON STRING AND GET OUT THERE YOU HAVE TO AT SOME POINT IN LIFE.