How do you motivate yourself to want things?

Question

Answers like "you can't" only show lack of imagination and knowledge.

The problem: I don't want much in life. I figured I can really do wonders when I want something and go for it. Like, I'm an A+ student in a college, got a black belt in taekwondo in under 3 years just because was really interested in it. Yet these are rare cases, and since I don't want much, I don't do much. I seem to have what I need, I rarely go outside my comfort zone, since I feel there's no need to do that, and I don't want to create stress in my life. I seem to make it written all over my mind that challenge=fight against something, so I don't like it. I actually think that this could be a part of the problem but I also know that there's more to it.

From analyzing myself, I've come to a conclusion that I don't really care for things if they're outside of my interest zone. But I go through like a bulldozer if it's something I like.

I want to want valuable things that will actually make me successful in business and family life - managing relations, make good money etc. But as of right now I just do not care at all.

The process of "wanting" something goes with me like this: It would be nice to have it, it will feel good to have it. But I'm kind of ok right now, and don't think that the time and energy invested would be worth it.

Basically, as I see it, there are very, very few valuable things, and I go only for something that has exceptional value to me or is easy to get. And that's what I want to change: I want to want things that do not have as much value due to the fact that there are few REALLY valuable things. Otherwise I feel like a Buddhist monk who lives by the rule that all pain comes from having unfulfilled desires, therefore to eliminate pain, we must eliminate our desires. And I don't like that (consciously).

So, how do I motivate mysefl to want things? Don't answer anything like "get up early, do a calendar, blah-blah", since these things won't make me want anything, they'll just cause the stress I want to escape. The question is - how do I motivate myself to WANT things even if it creates stress and challenge?

This is NOT done by doing things, going places, and meeting people. This is done by analyzing and changing subconcious paradigms and perspectives.

PS. Please refrain from any kind of answers that basically mean "I don't know, ask somebody else", like "look on the internet", "talk to a psychologist" etc. You're not obligated to give an answer if you don't have one. And if you think you have a good advice, please elaborate, don't just say 2 words.

Answer 1

I'm having some of the same problems, so I'll tell you what I'm doing about it--can't promise it works though.

I'm finding that doing things outside the interest/comfort zone sometimes become better the more you do them. Sometimes you just know an activity is not your cup of tea, but sometimes it is kinda interesting but you could have had more fun staying in your routine. Those kinda interesting things are the ones you need to try more--eventually you push them into your comfort zone, thus broadening yourself.

People who stay at home all the time like staying at home. People who are out all time hate being at home doing 'nothing'. Find a balance, but for a little while that means pushing yourself to do things you would normally stay away from, on the outside chance you'll enjoy them.

Answer 2

Good to see I am not alone. I grew up having people call me too nice. They said this because I did not beat people up for trivial things like stepping on my sneaker. I hate to break it to them, it is not that I was too nice, I simply did not care. Now here I am, 27, little or no ambition. I don't want much because I see how transient it all is. I would have to trick myself into wanting something now. Nothing really grabs my attention other than the prospect of freedom. For me freedom means being able to go as I please where I please when I please, and for this I need money. So for others money is the ends, for me it is the means. I am also an A student and I rarely ever crack a book. So basically my motivation is ultimate Earthly freedom. If I can earn enough money to never work again that is what I am trying to do. But let me add this. I do not know if I am just awesomely lazy because like you most things do not seem worth the energy expenditure to me.

Answer 3

I have those days too, sometimes it laziness sometimes its procrastination. What motivates me may not be the same as what motivates you, so you have to find out why you do what you do now. Like why you run every morning. Even if the reason is superficial, its still gets you up right? For me its actually having goals. If I write stuff down or I have a goal in mind...even something as simple "Enter the phone number I wrote down on the sticky into my phone." When I think of something I do it immediately otherwise I will forget or I will procrastinate and it will never get done. I think of the consequences of me NOT doing it. Like if I don't enter that number the work that I would have to do to get that number again. To prevent my procrastination I just have to make myself realize that if I don't do it now, it will just be harder or more to do later. Its especially hard to clean...as I HATE CLEANING!!

Answer 4

Wow, well to me you seem to have a pretty good life! I think it is very difficult to motivate yourself if you do not at least want it a little. You seem to be quite content in what you do have and what you have done. I'm not really sure what I'm saying here but I think your question has been very well thought out. I'm afraid I don't know the answer, but to be honest I don't think anyone really will. But from what you have said I guess you just need to find things that do interest you then you will have all the motivation you need because like you said you don't care for things outside your interest zone. Well good luck anyway and thanks for putting a great question on that got me thinking....even if I did fail miserably in answering it!!!!

Answer 5

The 1st step has been taken becasue you asked yourself this important question.
Read " Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, and "The Mind's Eye" by Dr. Michael Samuels....
The answers are within yourself...
Anything in this world that you want, you have to work at it...
I would suggest that you write out a 5 year goal plan....and how you are going to make these goal reality...
good luck

Answer 6

Well, why do you "want to want valuable things that will actually make me successful in business and family life - managing relations, make good money etc?"
Answer that question and maybe you'll find your motivation. I want to be successful in business and make tons of money so I can retire early and take care of my mom whose done so much for me. My motivation? I took a picture of my family and put it in the wall of my room. When I stare at it, I remember that i'm also doing it for them. I also pay close attention to people who are in low paying jobs until their death pretty much. I don't want to be like them.
I keep telling me, that havinga stressful life right now, will make my life later on much much easier and stress free.
It's all about focusing on certain aspects that will make you want these things. Then constantly think about them and how to get them and why they are good for you. You need to frame the idea of these wants in a way that will make you want them.
Find a good reason for why you want to want these things and that should work. Maybe you want to be successfull so you can one day start a non-profit organization for battered women. I don't know. You have to find your own thing. Mine is because I want my mom to never have to work again and to have all her financial needs met. Add to that, I want to retire by the time i'm 35 cuz I really am a lazy person inside and I don't want to work till i'm 65. I think laziness is also a motivation for me wanting to be a success...
Also, to get out of the rut of not doing too much, I started hanging out with very motivated and successfull people. That way when they go off talking about their successes it makes me want to be able to do that. And to help get out of that rut, I've limited my TV time significantly. I also, try to get out of the house as often as possible.
well good luck. I hope i was some help.

Answer 7

omg what a long story
cant u make a conculsion to ur story ?
whatever
i motivate my self as put for myself objectives and say to myself as i do more as i get more

Answer 8

it's like which comes first ?the inspiration or the aspiration!
any ov them could come first depends on situation.

Answer 9

In psychology, motivation refers to the initiation, direction, intensity and persistence of behavior (Geen, 1995). Motivation is a temporal and dynamic state that should not be confused with personality or emotion. Motivation is having the desire and willingness to do something. A motivated person can be reaching for a long-term goal such as becoming a professional writer or a more short-term goal like learning how to spell a particular word. Personality invariably refers to more or less permanent characteristics of an individual's state of being (e.g., shy, extrovert, conscientious). As opposed to motivation, emotion refers to temporal states that do not immediately link to behavior (e.g., anger, grief, happiness).

Contents [hide]
1 History of the concept
2 Biological psychology of drives
2.1 Instincts
2.2 Drive theory
2.3 Appetite and thirst
2.4 Thermoregulation
2.5 Sex
3 Regulation of behavior
3.1 Rewards and incentives
3.2 Punishment
3.3 Aggression
3.4 Stress
3.5 Secondary goals
3.6 Coercion
4 Social and self regulation
4.1 Self control
4.1.1 Maslow's Theory
4.1.2 Herzberg’s Two Factor Theory
4.1.3 Alderfer’s ERG Theory
4.2 Cognitive dissonance
4.3 Self-Determination Theory
4.4 Social conformity
4.5 McClelland's Achievement Motivation Theory
4.6 Goal-setting theory
4.7 Affiliation
4.8 Altruism
5 Controlling motivation
5.1 Early programming
5.2 Organization
5.3 Drugs
6 Applications in education and instructional design
7 Applications in business
7.1 Scientific Management
7.2 Human Relations Model
8 See also
9 References



[edit] History of the concept
The claim that humans are hedonistically motivated was argued by Jeremy Bentham in An Introduction to the Principles of Morals and Legislation:

“Nature has placed mankind under the governance of two sovereign masters, pain, and pleasure. It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do” (Bentham 1789).


[edit] Biological psychology of drives

Location of the hypothalamushypothalamus
homeostasis
Claude Bernard
Charles Darwin
Walter Cannon

[edit] Instincts
instinct
William James
Imprinting (psychology)
At the next level are motivations that have an obvious biological basis but are not required for the immediate survival of the organism. These include the powerful motivations for sex, parenting and aggression: again, the physiological bases of these are similar in humans and other animals, but the social complexities are greater in humans (or perhaps we just understand them better in our own species). In these areas insights from behavioral ecology and sociobiology have offered new analyses of both animal and human behaviour in the last decades of the twentieth century, though the extension of sociobiological analyses to humans remains highly controversial. Perhaps similar, but perhaps at a rather different level, is the motivation for new stimulation - variously called exploration, curiosity, or arousal-seeking. A crucial issue in the analysis of such motivations is whether they have a homeostatic component, so that they build up over time if not discharged; this idea was a key component of early twentieth century analyses of sex and aggression by, for example, Freud and Konrad Lorenz, and is a feature of much popular psychology of motivation. The biological analyses of recent decades, however, imply that such motivations are situational, arising when they are (or seem to be) needed to ensure an animal's fitness, and subsiding without consequences when the occasion for them passes.


[edit] Drive theory
Clark L. Hull
Goal
Activation theory
Reticular activating system
Arousal
Yerkes-Dodson law
Sleep
There are a number of drive theories. The Drive Reduction Theory grows out of the concept that we have certain biological needs, such as hunger. As time passes the strength of the drive increases as it is not satisfied. Then as we satisfy that drive by fulfilling its desire, such as eating, then the drives strength is reduced. It is based on the theories of Freud and the idea of negative feedback systems, such as a thermostat.

There are several problems, however, that leave the validity of the Drive Reduction Theory open for debate. The first problem is that it does not explain how Secondary Reinforcers reduce drive. For example, money does not satisfy any biological or psychological need but reduces drive on a regular basis through a pay check (see: second-order conditioning). Secondly, if the drive reduction theory held true we would not be able to explain how a hungry human being can prepare a meal without eating the food before the end of the preparation. Supposedly, the drive to satiate one's hunger would drive a person to consume the food, however we prepare food on a regular basis and "ignore" the drive to eat. Thirdly, a drive is not able to be measured and therefore cannot be proven to exist in the first place (Barker 2004).


[edit] Appetite and thirst
hunger
blood sugar
insulin
taste
apomorphine
foraging
obesity
thirst
osmoreceptor

[edit] Thermoregulation
homeothermic
poikilothermic
circadian rhythm
thermoregulation
thermotaxis

[edit] Sex
hormones
pituitary
estrogen
estrous cycle
testosterone
sexual attraction
sexual arousal

[edit] Regulation of behavior

[edit] Rewards and incentives
This section is a stub. You can help by expanding it.
An incentive is that is offered before accomplishing a specific task with the intent of encouraging the behaviors necessary to accomplish that task to occur.

A reward is something that is given following the occurrence of a behavior with the intention of acknowledging the positive nature of that behavior and often with the additional intent of encourging it to happen again. The definition of reward is not to be confused with the definition of reinforcer, which includes a measured increase in the rate of a desirable behavior following the addition of something to the environment.


[edit] Punishment
Punishment, when referred in general, is an unfavorable condition introduced into the environment to eliminate undesirable behavior. This is used as one of the measures of Behavior Modification


[edit] Aggression
This section is a stub. You can help by expanding it.

[edit] Stress
Stress works in a strange way to motivate, like reverse psycology. When under stress and difficult situations, a person feels pressured. This may trigger feelings of under-achieving, which results in a reverse mindset, to strive to achieve. This is almost sub-concious. The net amount motivation under stress may motivate a person to work harder in order to "compensate" for his feelings.


[edit] Secondary goals
These important biological needs tend to generate more powerful emotions and thus more powerful motivation than secondary goals. This is described in models like Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs. A distinction can also be made between direct and indirect motivation: In direct motivation, the action satisfies the need, in indirect motivation, the action satisfies an intermediate goal, which can in turn lead to the satisfaction of a need. In work environments, money is typically viewed as a powerful indirect motivation, whereas job satisfaction and a pleasant social environment are more direct motivations. However, this example highlights well that an indirect motivational factor (money) towards an important goal (having food, clothes etc.) may well be more powerful than the [1] provided by an enjoyable workplace.


[edit] Coercion
The most obvious form of motivation is coercion, where the avoidance of pain or other negative consequences has an immediate effect. When such coercion is permanent, it is considered slavery. While coercion is considered morally reprehensible in many philosophies, it is widely practiced on prisoners, students in mandatory schooling, and in the form of conscription. Critics of modern capitalism charge that without social safety networks, wage slavery is inevitable. However, many capitalists such as Ayn Rand have been very vocal against coercion. Successful coercion sometimes can take priority over other types of motivation. Self-coercion is rarely substantially negative (typically only negative in the sense that it avoids a positive, such as undergoing an expensive dinner or a period of relaxation), however it is interesting in that it illustrates how lower levels of motivation may be sometimes tweaked to satisfy higher ones.


[edit] Social and self regulation

[edit] Self control
The self-control of motivation is increasingly understood as a subset of emotional intelligence; a person may be highly intelligent according to a more conservative definition (as measured by many intelligence tests), yet unmotivated to dedicate this intelligence to certain tasks. Victor Vroom's "expectancy theory" provides an account of when people will decide whether to exert self control to pursue a particular goal. Self control is often contrasted with automatic processes of stimulus-response, as in the methodological behaviorist's paradigm of JB Watson.

Drives and desires can be described as a deficiency or need that activates behaviour that is aimed at a goal or an incentive. These are thought to originate within the individual and may not require external stimuli to encouarge the behaviour. Basic drives could be sparked by deficiencies such as hunger, which motivates a person to seek food; whereas more subtle drives might be the desire for praise and approval, which motivates a person to behave in a manner pleasing to others.

By contrast, the role of extrinsic rewards and stimuli can be seen in the example of training animals by giving them treats when they perform a trick correctly. The treat motivates the animals to perform the trick consistently, even later when the treat is removed from the process.


[edit] Maslow's Theory
Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of human needs theory is the most widely discussed theory of motivation.

The theory can be summarized as thus:

Human beings have wants and desires which influence their behaviour, only unsatisfied needs can influence behaviour, satisfied needs cannot.
Since needs are many, they are arranged in order of importance, from the basic to the complex.
The person advances to the next level of needs only after the lower level need is at least minimally satisfied.
The further the progress up the hierarchy, the more individuality, humanness and psychological health a person will show.
The needs, listed from basic (lowest, earliest) to most complex (highest, latest) are as follows:

Physiological
Safety and security
Social
Self esteem
Self actualization

[edit] Herzberg’s Two Factor Theory
Frederick Herzberg's two factor theory, concludes that certain factors in the workplace result in job satisfaction, while others lead to dissatisfaction.

He distinguished between: motivation and hygiene

Motivators; (e.g. challenging work, recognition, responsibility) which give positive satisfaction, and
Hygiene factors; (e.g. status, job security, salary and fringe benefits) which give positive satisfaction, although dissatisfaction results from their absence.
The theory is sometimes called the Motivator-Hygiene Theory.


[edit] Alderfer’s ERG Theory
Created by Clayton Alderfer, Maslow's hierarchy of needs was expanded, leading to his ERG theory (Existence, Relatedness and Growth). Physiological and safety, the lower order needs, were placed in the Existence category. Love and self esteem needs were placed in the Relatedness category. The Growth category contained the self actualization and self esteem needs.


[edit] Cognitive dissonance
Suggested by Leon Festinger, this occurs when an individual experiences some degree of mental discomfort resulting from an incompatibility between two cognitions. For example, a consumer may seek to reassure himself or herself regarding a purchase, feeling that another decision may have been, in retrospect, preferable.

Another example of cognitive dissonance is when a belief and a behavior are in conflict. A person may believe smoking is bad for one's health and yet continues to smoke.


[edit] Self-Determination Theory
Self-Determination Theory, developed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, focuses on the importance of intrinsic motivation in driving human behavior. Like Maslow's hierarchical theory and others that built on it, SDT posits a natural tendency toward growth and development. Unlike these other theories, however, SDT does not include any sort of "autopilot" for achievement, but instead requires active encouragement from the environment. The primary factors that encourage motivation and development are autonomy, competence feedback, and relatedness.


[edit] Social conformity

[edit] McClelland's Achievement Motivation Theory
David McClelland’s achievement motivation theory envisages that a person has need for three things but people differ in degree in which the various needs influence their behavior:

Need for achievement
Need for power
Need for affiliation

[edit] Goal-setting theory
Goal-setting theory is based on the notion that individuals sometimes have a drive to reach a clearly defined end state. Often, this end state is a reward in itself. A goal's efficiency is affected by three features; proximity, difficulty and specificity. An ideal goal should present a situation where the time between the initiation of behavior and the end state is close in time. This explains why some children are more motivated to learn how to ride a bike than mastering algebra. A goal should be moderate, not too hard or too easy to complete. In both cases, most people are not optimally motivated, as many want a challenge (which assumes some kind of insecurity of success). At the same time people want to feel that there is a substantial probability that they will succeed. Specificity concerns the description of the goal. The goal should be objectively defined and intelligible for the individual. A classic example of a poorly specified goal is to get the highest possible grade. Most children have no idea how much effort they need to reach that goal. For further reading, see Locke and Latham (2002).


[edit] Affiliation
-this is the desire to connect or associate oneself with others.


[edit] Altruism

[edit] Controlling motivation
The control of motivation is only understood to a limited extent. There are many different approaches of motivation training, but many of these are considered pseudoscientific by critics. To understand how to control motivation it is first necessary to understand why many people lack motivation.


[edit] Early programming

Data by Harold Chugani on brain activity, (click image for source details). The red dots show activity in the frontal cortex, the "youngest" region in the human brain from an evolutionary perspective. It is important for analysis and creativity. The blue curve, copied from another diagram of the same source, shows the development of brain volume through childhood. As can be seen from the data, brain activity in children is much higher than in adults, making early influences critical for motivation in later life.Modern imaging has provided solid empirical support for the psychological theory that emotional programming is largely defined in childhood. Harold Chugani, Medical Director of the PET Clinic at the Children's Hospital of Michigan and professor of pediatrics, neurology and radiology at Wayne State University School of Medicine, has found that children's brains are much more capable of consuming new information (linked to emotions) than those of adults. Brain activity in cortical regions is about twice as high in children as in adults from the third to the ninth year of life. After that period, it declines constantly to the low levels of adulthood. Brain volume, on the other hand, is already at about 95% of adult levels in the ninth year of life.


[edit] Organization
Besides the very direct approaches to motivation, beginning in early life, there are solutions which are more abstract but perhaps nevertheless more practical for self-motivation. Virtually every motivation guidebook includes at least one chapter about the proper organization of one's tasks and goals. It is usually suggested that it is critical to maintain a list of tasks, with a distinction between those which are completed and those which are not, thereby moving some of the required motivation for their completion from the tasks themselves into a "meta-task", namely the processing of the tasks in the task list, which can become a routine. The viewing of the list of completed tasks may also be considered motivating, as it can create a satisfying sense of accomplishment.

Most electronic to-do lists have this basic functionality, although the distinction between completed and non-completed tasks is not always clear (completed tasks are sometimes simply deleted, instead of kept in a separate list).

Other forms of information organization may also be motivational, such as the use of mind maps to organize one's ideas, and thereby "train" the neural network that is the human brain to focus on the given task. Simpler forms of idea notation such as simple bullet-point style lists may also be sufficient, or even more useful to less visually oriented persons.


[edit] Drugs
Some authors, especially in the transhumanist movement, have suggested the use of "smart drugs", also known as nootropics, as "motivation-enhancers". The effects of many of these drugs on the brain are not well understood, and their legal status often makes open experimentation difficult. It is a fact that some of history's most productive artists have also been drug users, although it is not clear whether this correlation is also of a causative nature.

Converging neurobiological evidence also supports the idea that addictive drugs such as cocaine, nicotine, alcohol, and heroin act on brain systems underlying motivation for natural rewards, such as the mesolimbic dopamine system. Normally, these brain systems serve to guide us toward fitness-enhancing rewards (food, water, sex, etc.), but they can be co-opted by repeated use of drugs of abuse, causing addicts to excessively pursue drug rewards. Therefore, drugs can hijack brain systems underlying other motivations, causing the almost singular pursuit of drugs characteristic of addiction.


[edit] Applications in education and instructional design
Motivation is of particular interest to Educational psychologists because of the crucial role it plays in student learning. However, the specific kind of motivation that is studied in the specialised setting of education differs qualitatively from the more general forms of motivation studied by psychologists in other fields.

Motivation in education can have several effects on how students learn and their behavior towards subject matter (Ormrod, 2003). It can:

Direct behavior toward particular goals
Lead to increased effort and energy
Increase initiation of, and persistence in, activities
Enhance cognitive processing
Determine what consequences are reinforcing
Lead to improved performance.-
Because students are not always internally motivated, they sometimes need situated motivation, which is found in environmental conditions that the teacher creates.

There are two kinds of motivation:

Intrinsic motivation occurs when people are internally motivated to do something because it either brings them pleasure, they think it is important, or they feel that what they are learning is morally significant.
Extrinsic motivation comes into play when a student is compelled to do something or act a certain way because of factors external to him or her (like money or good grades).
Note also that there is already questioning and expansion about this dichotomy on motivation, e.g., Self-Determination Theory.


[edit] Applications in business
At lower levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, such as Physiological needs, money is a motivator, however it tends to have a motivating effect on staff that lasts only for a short period (in accordance with Herzberg's two-factor model of motivation). At higher levels of the hierarchy, praise, respect, recognition, empowerment and a sense of belonging are far more powerful motivators than money, as both Abraham Maslow and Douglas McGregor's Theory X and theory Y have demonstrated vividly.

Maslow has money at the lowest level of the hierarchy and shows other needs are better motivators to staff. McGregor places money in his Theory X category and feels it is a poor motivator. Praise and recognition are placed in the Theory Y category and are considered stronger motivators than money.

Motivated employees always look for better ways to do a job.
Motivated employees are more quality oriented.
Motivated workers are more productive.

[edit] Scientific Management
Scientific management is a philosophy and set of methods that stressed the scientific study and organization of work at operational level for improving efficiency. It is associated with Frederick Winslow Taylor who is called the “father of Scientific Management.”

Scientific Management has contributed the following techniques that are used even today:

Scientific method of doing work.
Planning tasks.
Standardization.
Specialization and division of labour.
This approach has been criticised that David Mcclelland dehumanized workers by treating them as mere factors of production. David believed that workers could be motivated by mere need for money i.e. economic gains by the form of higher wages. In reality, workers need sense of job security, social fulfillment and a challenging job, other than a good pay.


[edit] Human Relations Model
Elton Mayo found out that the social contacts a worker has at the workplace are very important and that boredom and repetitiveness of tasks lead to reduced motivation. Mayo believed that workers could be motivated by acknowledging their social needs and making them feel important. As a result, employees were given freedom to make decisions on the job and greater attention was paid to informal work groups. Mayo named the model the Hawthorne effect. The problem with his model is undue reliance on social contacts at work situations for motivating employee