I am friends with alot of men - couple friends I guess. But I have recently become close with another man who does not really know my husband. My husband thinks that I am only asking for trouble and men and women can never be just friends unless it is a couple friend. Do you agree? Should I stop being friends with the other man. (we are very close and get along very well - I am very comfortable with him).
2006-12-06 06:36:04 · 13 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have tons of female friends but this one man and I have become very close.
2006-12-06 06:44:55 · update #1
I have never cheated on my husband. And never will - don't jump to conclusions that I am cheating - thumbs down to you!
2006-12-06 06:55:59 · update #2
Hello, My Yahoo name is Sunflower as well.
Anyway......smile
I had a very close male friend as well but had to give him up because we got along so well that his wife thought that we were having an affair. I did not want to hurt his marriage in any way so I had to abandon our friendship. I still miss him.
However, I have rules when it comes to male friends like:
Not accepting gifts
Never lying to my male partner about meeting/not meeting my male friends
No kissing-not even friendly kissing
No sex talk, like if we could one day with each other (when this comes up I normally cancel the friendship if it continues)
My mate must meet him, usually we all go out to dinner or something.
There are other rules but you must have them in order to keep the relationship healthy, clean, and respectful for all involved.
P.S. I have never had a male friendship that others did not think that we were having an affair or talked with my mate telling him that they did not think it was a good ideal. I have to say that when my mate had a real good friendship with a female, I could understand then, why people feel uncomfortable about it. It was a little harder to deal with then I thought it would be.
2006-12-06 07:13:38 · answer #1 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can be "just friends". You need to introduce this new friend to your husband and let your husband get a "feel" for him. If your husband doesn't think you can be just friends, then that means there is some jealousy and insecurity there. might be something you need to check into. Also, take a step back and ask yourself why you tend to surround yourself with male friends instead of female friends.
2006-12-06 06:40:12 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can see where it could possible cause a problem especially since your husband doesn't know your friend. Have you ever broken trust with your husband or given him a reason to not trust you? If not, then it would probably be fine. If it's not fine with your husband then you should respect his feelings and not remain friends. Your husband should be the most important person in your life.
2006-12-06 06:44:54 · answer #3 · answered by rideabanjopicker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as my husband would say " your married, not dead ", you can be friends with the opposite sex,some women have better communication with them, then their husbands because they are not quick to judge or they can talk to them without feeling they are embarrassed by what you are saying.In some marriages men are not good listeners and women sometimes need a mans point of view.
2006-12-06 06:45:32 · answer #4 · answered by icequeen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is just insecurities that your husband has, reasure him that nothing has or will ever happen between you and this other man...But there are something that you may want to stay away from too! Don't get to chummy chummy with him and make sure you draw a line in what info you give to your friend about personal things in ur relationship.
2006-12-06 06:41:49 · answer #5 · answered by I Love Pink! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i agree, the longer you're friends, the closer you's will become which in turn can and usually does turn into other things. flirting, sexual encounters, you get the hint. now i'm not saying that you are cheating or are going to cheat, but do yourself and your husband a favor and stop being friends with this guy, don't lead yourself into temptation. if you want to keep your marriage.
2006-12-06 07:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by jdchick48 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having friends of the opposite sex can be very healthy to a marriage. But don't seek in him what your husband is not providing.
2006-12-06 06:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes -- you can be friends with the opposite gender without sex being a factor.
You just need to ensure you both understand what the rules are.
2006-12-06 06:39:24 · answer #8 · answered by girlielikesfun 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course!
My wife has quite a few male friends, I have female friends.
IMO, only someone that's pretty insecure would have a problem with that.
If you can't trust yourself with other men, then you should take care.
Or you could just consider polyamory.
2006-12-06 06:38:55 · answer #9 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ofcourse you can be friends with the opposite sex. your man needs to ask himself if he truly trusts you. Without trust there is nothing. Jealousy poison a relationship..
2006-12-06 06:41:26 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋