i need help here !!!?

Question

i been married lil over a year and all my husband does is yell at me put me down cuss me out and tell me i will never find another man like him and when i don't do what he say he hits but not to where i got a bruise.he tells me what i can do and he tell me ever sice we got married he been unhappy and everything that goes wrong is my fault..
what should i do because i don't have no money to get a divorce and i don't no where to go to get help at..
please help what should i do should i stay or leave???

Answer 1

You need to leave, like yesterday. Your husband is an abuser emotionally and physically.
Leave now before you get to the point where your not strong enough to do so. Don't tell him your leaving. Just pack your things and take off when he is not around.
All the yelling and putting you down is his way of controlling you. He wants to damage your self esteem and confidence so you won't have the strength to leave him. You may not realize this but I bet he has systematically isolated you from family and friends, so now you feel like you have no where to go to get away from him.
As for telling you you'll never find a man like him. That's great. You don't want another like him man that will abuse you the way he does. You want someone that will love you for you and treat you as his equal and partner.
Don't worry about divorcing him, that's the least of your problems right now. That will come later, just get away. If you have access to any money, take it and get out now.
Get on the computer and search for help for battered women in your area. They can give you information and assistance to leave him. Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 2

How was this guy before you got married? If he was like this before the two of you got married then, what made you think that he was going to change? Some women will do anything to be married or be in love. You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. No man is worth staying with if he is hitting on you and cursing you out, blaming you for his short coming, putting you down, lowering your self esteem just so you stay with him because he knows that you can do better but tells you that you can't so that you stay with him. Go to a battered woman's shelter or go to your local church for help. Start documenting
s h i t so that when you do get a divorce you will have the proof that you need. Pray and ask God to release you from this hell that you are going through. Seek God for HE is your answer.

Answer 3

Okay here goes... go to your parents or a friends house.. call the police and have him arrested for domestic battery.... get a restraining order against him so he can;t come around usually you get to stay in the home but if you feel uncomfrotable have some friends over or family..... then go an file for divorce that costs nothing to file... then when you file tell them you have no money for a lawyer and they will recommend one to you.... take his *** for everything he has and find a new man that will love and resect you the way that you should be. Good Luck and Hurry to get this done because the abuse only gets worse and the next time he could kill you.

Answer 4

It is most likely against the law in your state for someone to hit another person. It is considered assault, and you can call the police. Whatever you do - don't stay with him; get out, see if you can stay with a friend for a while, find a roommate to live with, get a second job - whatever it takes. Look online for some sort of battered women support group around you, they will have the resources to help you. There are national hotlines that deal with this sort of thing, and will be able to help. Don't let the lack of money stop you from getting out, people get divorces every day, and most of them are just regular folks, not millionaries.

Answer 5

I grew up with an abusive father who was abusive towards both my mother, my sister and I. I lived my life in fear of my own father until I was 15 years old. It started off with my parents having little fights where he would push or shove her. Eventually, when I was fifteen years old, my father beat my mother until she was unconscious on the kitchen floor, and I called the cops. If you have been together for one year, imagine what it could escalate to. I have just started to see my dad again, three years after I called the cops on him. He went through a program and went to counseling, and he truly is a different man. My mother did not have a job at the time time that they got a divorce because he would not allow her to work. There are places that help women who are victims of domestic violence. If you do not want to get a divorce then try to get your husband to go through counseling. Whatever you do, do not allow yourself to be a victim.

Best of Luck.

Answer 6

Leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First of all he is destroying your self esteem and that's even worse than physical abuse bruises go away. That's how it always happens first its mental abuse then physical and it may not be that bad yet but I promise you that it will get worse, the slaps turn into hit, the hits turn into beatings. I've seen it too many times. You need to leave before a child comes into the picture if there is not one already. Find a woman's shelter they will help you get back on your feet. YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Much better. You deserve better! I don't care what anyone has done no one deserves that. good luck

Answer 7

Let me get this right, he yells at you, cusses at you, puts you down and hits you, then tells you, you will never be able to find a man like him???? Tell him why would you want to! Find some family or friends to stay with.

Answer 8

You need to get out right away. If you have no money, then you can go to a county office and ask for help and it is always pro-bono if indeed you have no money. Then call the cops and have him arrested for spousal abuse whether there are marks or not. I don't know where you live but when you call the authorities, they can usually get you in touch with the closest women's shelter. I hope you can see that it will be get worse, the longer you allow it to happen. No one needs to live like that.

Answer 9

leave abuse only gets worst and the sad part is you can find hundred of men like your husband that use the ones they claim to love as punching bag just remember it's not your fault and you don't have to take physical or emotional abuse from anyone you can always get help from legal services to get a divorce don't use that as a reason to stay leaving will save your life I promise he won't get any better only worst

best of luck and God Bless

Answer 10

Well, you could do as I did and stay for 20 year, of course you run the risk of losing your identity. He will see to it that your estranged from your family and you won't have any friends in which to confide in and even your kids will think your incompetent. If you do eventually take the step and go out on your own after the kids are grown and moved on with their lives because they no longer can stand to see Mom used as a punching bag/maid...it won't be easy. First you have to get your self-esteem back, takes roughly 6 months, and find a job (unless you know a business owner who is willing to give you break and take a chance on you because he happens to know the situation you were in) jobs are hard to get for 40+ year old people. You'll need your own place and you'd be surprised at all the men folk that will be willing to help you, mostly married men, but for just a roll in bed they will do most anything. You will see more of your kids and Grandkids but in the beginning it may seem like every night keeping the Grandkids after coming home from work and your place looks like a disaster area where they spent biggest part of their day waiting on you to come home from work so they could go out while Grandma visits all night with the babies and because they stayed out too late your late for work after 3 or 4 phone calls to wake them up to come get the kids..but after moving out of town and unavailable to them to just drop by daily, you'll eventually pick and choose the days and times you want to visit them for the night. As for the Ex..let's see it's going on 9 years now and even though the daily phone calls have stopped with the mistakes I'm making leaving him and how I'll never amount to anything without him and how I'll come crawling back to him for help, he now only text messages my cell asking for another chance about every 6 weeks to a month.

Or...you can leave now and save yourself all the wasted years. Eventually you will have taken all you can take and want out. It's easier to do while your young and the world doesn't think your too old to learn. You'll find someone that will love you for you and want you as a partner AND an equal. Your children will grow up thinking of you as their mother, not someone to use at their disposal. So many things you are doing without because of a spouse that thinks he OWNS you, you are not property you are a woman.